Reviews by manonamora

Coca-Cola Presents: 🥤 Fuck Capitalism Jam 2032 🥤 is a short bitsy/bipsy game, set in the very near future of 2032 (oh this review is not going to age well soon…), at the dawn of a new edition of the Fuck Capitalism Jam. You are an excited little sprite getting ready to leave your oppressing little room to join the event, held in person in Madrid, ad the IFEMA centre. This year, as with a couple of years now, the event has been sponsored by a big corporation! Because, they too are looking to defeat capitalism, and make the world a better place!

So, funny thing, expecting a bleak dystopian future, from the start of the game, seeing a very anti-capitalist unranked jam being not only turned into a competition but also sponsored by capitalist ventures, I misread the location as FEMA centre and thought “Yeah… That checks out.” as if in the near future the US would take over Spain or something. I didn’t question it one bit, because it weirdly still fit. xD (it’s actually the IFEMA Convention Center in Madrid, a very real place hosting very real conventions).

Back to the game.

It’s a pretty humorous jab at capitalism (duh, from the title), with tons of references to real companies and their mode of work (ex: MLM Herbalife, I actually expected more of those xD), and events growing so much so quickly it loses its original purpose (become the thing you swore to destroy). A bit of a cautionary tale, based on real events, where things meant “for the people, free, in aeternum”, turns into a for-profit and ruins everything…

Now, it’s obviously not very realistic: the timeline is maybe a bit too short for this to happen, I don’t believe the organiser is going to be a capitalist stan anytime soon, and I would be super shocked if Godot was bought by Roblox (please, let this be a nightmare). But it does remind us not to take the good (free) things in our lives for granted. Because it could be gone in an instant…

With little (and made in a very short amount of time), it is pretty impactful. I enjoy checking out the “submitted projects for the competition”, and how they clashed with their respective sponsors. That was really funny.

You’re the Judge Now, Dog! is a Twine game(??), partly meta, partly a joke game (duh), partly… I don’t know how to characterise it? a rant? a weird praise? It’s a bit all over the place. There are 5 endings, some more gruelling to get than others.

The whole game moves along with the whims of an unlikeable narrator, who really wants to talk to you about Buford Rootberg, and how amazing of a guy he is (and how much of a looser you are), in between weird rants about –spin the wheel to pick a topic– and pokes at your disappointing… well, evertyhing. You go through an interview (a bit humiliating), shove your face with Hot Pockets (no vegetarian options?!), and bomb the ratings of all the games submitted to the jam (obviously they deserved it!).

I am not quite sure what exactly happens next, whether your life turns upside down and goes through some surreal experience where you are granted the honour of meeting (again) Buford Rootberg… or if it’s just some weird dream because of your definitely poor diet (so many Hot Pockets!!).

The absolute worst thing about this game, aside from the infuriating narrator and his questionable takes, was the timed text. Absolutely awful. Every single line is timed (around 2s each) and you have many many lines to read per passage.
Also pretty bad? The links. In three different spots, your page is covered with links (one is slightly worse than the other), all of which you have to click to go through. Infuriating. My hand would like a refund, please and thank you.

For some reason, the audio wasn’t working (I tried downloading the game, opening it on different browser, used the toggle…) and some images were broken too.

And for the low, very low price of $7,734.40, you too can own the source code (or skip the pay button). It actually does some interesting things with loops, especially with the randomised placement of links in loops.

So, yeah… it’s pretty bad. As you’d expect.

time for bed is a relatively short parser game with a simple objective: get ready for bed. To do that you need to get into your pyjamas, drink a warm cup of milk, and brush your teeth. The map is pretty small: bedroom, bathroom, living room, kitchen. There are multiple endings and achievements to find while playing the game. It also has a fairly limited vocabulary (no synonyms).

On top of this, it’s got some pretty fun humour, that got my chuckling quite a bit. Like starting with the tutorial but not the game, doing the suggested commands, searching through the rooms. Something you’d definitely expect of that kind of simple, slice of life, chill puzzle game. Also, it was nice to get an obvious visual for when to press to continue and input the next command.

Except… I am not sure the game can be actually finished. On multiple occasions, I would get a server timeout or my window would just close mid-way through giving me a response (like wear pyjamas was impossible!). There are also issues of unresponsive commands (can’t examine/interact described objects), and some friction with the commands (can only put something in the microwave with the open microwave command).

Shaaaame… :_:

'Steading of the Hill Giant Chief is a short fantasy parser game where you play as a wizard just back from a beating by a giant. Though your ego is a bit bruised (and maybe your body is too), nothing will stop you from defeating those perfidious creatures… you just need a new plan and get ready.

Using a (very) limited list and ample hints, the puzzles are fairly easy to complete. You just need a good weapon, a fitting costume, and maybe a potion for extra help. Some of the commands even do extra steps (like taking an ingredient will also put it in the cauldron). Always a bonus point for including a cat and letting us pet it.

On the other hand, some objects are not always quite obvious (like the exact ingredient listed somewhere else but that general descriptions) or not described (though, they don’t really matter, so that’d OK). But if you read the responses properly, it isn’t really difficult to go around it.

Finally, the writing. It’s fantastic. It hits just the right balance of hilarious, but in that kind of old TTRPG/Fantasy game style. I didn’t even finish the intro that I was already laughing so hard. It was so much fun, I was disappointed to see it end so quickly!