Reviews by manonamora
springthing
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When trying is not enough..., August 11, 2023A chilling and confusing snippet of life told through the eyes of a small child dealing with struggling parental figures, in a gothic style
Horror is usually not my style because I am a bit of a chicken, but Sweetpea's big eyes and scared demeanor pulled me in and would not let go until this game was complete. [This is actually my second playthrough]
The vivid descriptions of the surroundings or Sweetpea's feelings, as well as the formatting and animations of the text added onto my discomfort and uneasiness. Yet, I could not look away. I had to check all the boxes and find all the hidden links to understand the troubles the eponymous character was going through.
I actually didn't catch this the first time around, but it is (Spoiler - click to show)heavily implied the father is an alcoholic following the mother's departure (death?), behaving strangely in her eyes when drunk. The hints were all there, from the stranger who looks like dad but is not like dad; the broken glass and the sickness in the bathroom, or the father leaving for hours/days on end. It is clear the father is trying his best (and failing at the task), but his guilt is not enough to change him (until the end is reached). The horror of every day life...
Even the second time around, I was still quite confused at the second "act" with Micheal, not because of the change of background marking a new beginning in the story, but by the shift in the story going from a grim reality told through the eyes of a child, to being swooped by some sort of guardian angel in some imaginary place and being served breakfast. (Spoiler - click to show)Then afterwards, the context of alcoholism with the father kind of makes it as if the dad was sobered up then, caring for his child.
While the story ends on the positive note, it still depict a grim part of life, where hurt people hurt other people (and worse, children), which shook me to my core. The contrast of the pain and the panic of the child with the fond remembrance of gifts or the soothing taste of a sweet makes it all the harder to go through. This is accentuated by the gothic style of writing, making this everyday horror more vivid and visceral.
Chills going down the spine at every turn.
Awkward party limbo and self-deprecating humour, June 1, 2023Jumping a few years into the future of Pageant, Karen Zhao comes back, more anxious than ever, for a short evening, celebrating the turn of a new year. Stuck in a house out of social obligation, Karen has the option to interact with a cast of familiar faces, go down memory lane, or hide from everyone as best she can to avoid starting a panic attack before the clock strikes twelve. How ever will she cope?????
The one thing that I love about Autumn's games is how real the characters and their interactions feel. NYE19 is no different, continuing on the tradition of anxiety-inducing situation and self-deprecating humour bordering on self-loathing. But unlike its predecessor, Pageant, NYE19's tone translated less as slice-of-life-of-a-stressed-teenager-trying-to-make-it-through-the-semester-oh-god-is-she-having-a-panic-attack-again-just-kiss-her-you-dummy and more of this-is-what-a-college-student-forced-to-come-home-for-the-holidays-special-sitcom-epidose-feels-like. From the really awkward meetings with your old high-school friends (or did you date them? or were they crushes?), to the adults hounding you with questions about your future, or your family wanting to uphold a certain image around people. It's a party we've all been to, it's the kind we wish we didn't have to stay...
And Karen, our favourite anxious lesbian, does too. From the start, she warns the player she does not want to be here, really does not find having to engage in small talk (especially with people she's lost touch with), and actually wishes being anywhere but at this party. It is awkward to interact with people you knew (or more than knew) some years prior but with who you have lost contact (life...), finding how they have (not) changed, and how they've been fairing compared to you.
During the span of an evening, you meet (again) Emily, a trans woman (out of the closet then?) who helped you in Pageant to win (kinda) said pageant; Miri, your best-friend, who tagged along for the party because she did not want to be at her family's party and became the social butterfly you could not be; and Aubrey, your high-school rival, who seems to still be doing just as well with her Harvard education, her Harvard boyfriend, her probably-perfect-looking Harvard life... You also get to roam around the party daydreaming nihilisticly about the state of the world, hide in the basement to watch a MCU movie and be cringe to your brother, stuff yourself with food to temper with your imminent anxiety attack, play some mahjong and lose badly, hide in the bathroom and take selfies sending your into some self-loathing, play some games on your phone...
Whatever you do (especially your interactions), you are constantly reminded of your shortcomings from the past and how you let your anxiety cause the dwindling of your relationships. Your past haunts your every move and your every thoughts, and being in the presence of people from your past makes it all the worse for your mental being.
Half-way through the game, you sit down to have some dinner, forced at the kids-but-not-really-kids table where all your (former?) friends are interacting. It is very awkward, with Aubrey forcing everyone to introduce themselves as if they were having some sort of team-building meeting, her boyfriend forgetting about the No-No-Conversations (Politics-Religions...)... You can choose to participate in the conversation, eat, or listen, but no matter what happens, you will leave the table before the meal/conversation is over, leaving the party as well to go for a walk.
This is where things get interesting. Emily asks whether she can come along, and agreeing or not will give you very different outcomes. The latter will find you wallowing about your loneliness and how devoid of human connections your life is (much due to your own actions), while the former has a more hopeful and levelheaded conversation (leading possibly to a relationship...). With each still, and throughout the whole game, Karen goes on an introspection about the seemingly importance of human interaction, how easy it is to fuck up things, and the transactionality of relationships, all wrapped in a nihilistic and fatalistic bow (everything goes wrong, even if you do the right things).
Even if this sounds all depressing, it strangely is not. I found myself giggle at some passages. The dry self-deprecating humour is honestly hilarious (especially the Narrator's comments). At any moment, I was expecting a laughing track to cue. Or maybe I was just playing this with a strange mood...
The game is also very meta about what it is trying to convey. From playing a dating-sim game within an essentially dating-sim game, to the commentary on human interactions being comparable to dating-sims in the optimisation of [emotions/variables] to get the best possible outcome through a sequence of actions we hope is the correct one while we play a dating-sim where the sequence of choices can be optimised to get that "good ending", the story and the gameplay play quite interestingly on each other to get those points across.
Still, unlike other works from Autumn, while I enjoyed myself playing it, it didn't have the same impact on me. I didn't click as much with it as her other games, and felt a bit unsatisfactory? by the end of the playthroughs. The game has some strong moments, especially the part outside of the house, and some funny moments during the roaming around before dinner/before the countdown, but at other moments, it felt hollow. Maybe it is because of your limited agency in the way you interact with others or act, since Karen is an anxious and socially awkward person who has a hard time expressing her feelings and thoughts. Maybe it is because some of the characters you interact with and the way you defined your previous relationships don't feel as fleshed out (Miri and Aubrey comes to mind, especially compared to Pageant or even Emily). Or maybe it is Karen's blasé look on dwindling and lost relationships that ticked me that only allows her to have superficial contact with people (aside from Emily). Or maybe it is the more fragmented type of different gameplay/mechanics that didn't work as well as the Storylet format of Pageant, or the more linear work of GG and the war. Or maybe because the end was a bit too abrupt... I'm not quite sure
There is a wonderful sentence from the post-mortem that really encapsulate the vibe of this game, and strangely reminds us of the hope Karen feels just before returning to the party... and this is where I will be ending this review:
> The past is inescapable, but the future is not entirely determinate.
There is still time...
Therapy: Hardcore mode., May 31, 2023Computerfriend is a nihilistic take on a future/past, where everyone is miserable and somehow still living through a more-than-poluted world devoid of community sense and safety nets. Following an unnamed incident, you are required to follow therapy sessions via a AI program on your computer, the eponymous Computerfriend(.exe). However, this program is not... what you'd expect of therapy.
Computerfriend was my introduction to Kit's world, randomly answering a call to playtest it ahead of the SpringThing 2022. I remember it being very confusing and trippy and gross, and yet I did not want/could not to look away. I devoured that game, and played again and again until I had found all endings.
Coming back to the game felt like swimming in a strange but comforting acid pit, and talking to computerfriend.exe felt like talking to an old toxic friend you are not quite sure whether they mean good or harm. Needless to say, I was like a kid in a bath, refusing to leave.
Not going to lie, this game is very strange. And it has been stuck in my mind for over a year now. It has marked me in ways I'm still discovering today. Even if it is not supposed to be beautiful, with its blinding change of colours or its eye-printing fonts or the literal ugliness of the setting, there is still charm in the harshness of the visual. Even if it is not supposed to be cathartic, each story run left me strangely satisfied and [at peace / terrified / confused / angry / revolted]. Even if it was incredibly bleak and borderline fatalistic, with an unliveable world devoid of nature and cows that can lay eggs, there is still shreds of hope in there that survival is still possible, maybe for a bit longer.
In its indulgence in all that is considered bad, the game manages to be so incredibly good.
One last special shoutout to Computerfriend:
While the story is supposed to be about your recovery, the main show revolved around computerfriend.exe, your at-home therapist AI, which still needs a bit of tweaking before it can help you get back on track. At first, it seems the AI does not truly listen to you, as it goes down a checklist as if to fill in a form (to try to understand you) - the dissonance between your answers to questions and its responses is very staggering (for lack of better word). As you progress down the "recovery" path, the AI will propose different treatments, going from strange to terrifying to injecting yourself with drugs. If you refuse or don't find the treatment useful, it will pressure you to continue. Even saying NO is a painstaking process (and the first time, it is even ignored).
computerfriend.exe can truly be awful, but it remarkably funny. When it first assesses you, it does not just look up your location or how the weather is, but also finding the contacts to the nearest first respondent and pollen level (am i supposed to have hay fever?). This might be the bleakness of the game affecting me, but I still chuckle at it. Same after you close the application and try to reopen it, it will tell you to butt off because it is busy. It even gives you homework, actions to essentially distract yourself until the next session (and the options are delightful).
A delightful crow's adventure, May 29, 2023The Familiar follows Fran, a familiar in the form of a crow, as she embarks on a quest to save her witch mistress who has succumb to an illness. Through a series of puzzles and exploration, Fran uncovers a secret plot and fights for her mistress's life.
I am a sucker for a good simple puzzle and a cute story, and this is no wonder this game made it to my top list of the SpringThing this year (well, it was already a favourite of mine while I was testing it). From its clean and simple aesthetic, the gorgeous pixel art for each "room", to its delightful characters, The Familiar is such a well rounded game.
Obviously, playing as a crow, you are limited in your abilities to help your bedridden mistress (it is a magical wonder you can get her a blanket). Still, the puzzles are constructed in a way that would be doable for a crow to solve (and you a smart little one). Cawing your way into town to get attention, pecking people to move them out of the way, or picking up and dropping objects in the right place, you manage to acquire all needed ingredients to save the witch.
And you are not alone in the process. Meeting first Hazel, a mouse familiar whose master perished not long before the game, who will tend to your mistress while you fly to fetch the ingredients (turns out, it's not the flu but a curse, whomps...). Then a trio of NPCs in town: Miroger, who's bother has died, Cecile, who needs help writing and sending a letter to her lover, and Frederik, who knows a good deal when he sees one. Each helps you getting one ingredient in exchange for a small favour. Finally, the evil wizzard's owl coming at the 11th hour to stop Fran.
But how does it end then? With a happy ending, for course! This is still a feel good story at the end of the day, one that makes you feel satisfied when the ending screen comes around. The day is saved, the mistress is healed, and you made some friends along the way.
What I really appreciated from it was how inclusive the game was for beginners (or terrible parser player like me), as you are limited to 5 verbs (TAKE, DROP, LOOK, PECK, CAW), there is an available tutorial to teach you the controls, and a thorough walkthrough is included in case one is stuck.
I wanted to give a special shoutout to the artwork, considering how long it took to make 30+ pixel art headers, many of those heavily detailed. Those truly gorgeous small pieces of art enhance the atmosphere of the setting, from the cozy home, to the luscious forest, and the different and vibrant parts of the industrialised city. If it all felt like a pixelized version of a Ghibli movie, that was on purpose (the author confirmed the reference).
Anyway, I'm going back to fly after that darn letter...
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