Competition Version
Play this game in your Web browser.

Have you played this game?

You can rate this game, record that you've played it, or put it on your wish list after you log in.

Playlists and Wishlists

RSS Feeds

New member reviews
Updates to downloadable files
All updates to this page

16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds

by Abigail Corfman


(based on 66 ratings)
7 member reviews

About the Story

You're a vampire hunter on your night off.

You're getting a manicure, seeing a movie, and eating fast food.

But there's a vampire in this McDonalds.

If you don't do something, then in one hour it will eat the cashier.

Game Details

Language: English (en)
First Publication Date: October 1, 2016
Current Version: Unknown
Development System: Twine
IFID: Unknown
TUID: s8oklhvdqoo5dv4l


Winner, Best Puzzles; Nominee, Best Individual Puzzle - 2016 XYZZY Awards

5th Place - 22nd Annual Interactive Fiction Competition (2016)

Editorial Reviews

The Breakfast Review
Here, each key element of the vampire's seduction is observed and picked apart. It's almost a textbook explanation of what a pick-up artist might do and why he does it, broadcast to the world as a warning to prey everywhere. Or maybe a lesson for the next time you want to pick someone up at a McDonalds, in which case you better hope she hasn't played the same game. Or that she doesn't have a stake hidden up her sleeve. But seriously, thanks for the PSA. I feel now like this game is one of those fluff pieces with a gem of wisdom hidden in it.
See the full review


- View the most common tags (What's a tag?)

(Log in to add your own tags)

Member Reviews

5 star:
4 star:
3 star:
2 star:
1 star:
Average Rating:
Number of Reviews: 6
Write a review

Most Helpful Member Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
Witty, full of personality, and a lot of fun, November 5, 2016
by TLeather (London, UK)

This is a light-hearted puzzle game with multiple possible solutions (as you might have guessed from the title, there are 16 ways to win). Although itís written in Twine, it has an inventory system and item/environmental puzzles more typical of a parser-based game, proving that this kind of puzzling can work extremely well in Twine.

The gameís greatest asset is its writing. Itís genuinely funny: itís light-hearted, sometimes wry, and full of witty asides from the protagonist. Said protagonist is supremely likeable, and far more well-rounded than I would have expected in such a light-hearted game. Itís a real achievement to convey so much personality in so short a piece.

Perhaps the best way to describe the game is ďconcise but generousĒ, which goes for the design as well: thereís a small number of locations, but a large number of possibilities, which keeps you on track when looking for new ways to win. A certain amount of trial and error is needed to achieve some of the endings, but generally the game is well clued, especially because all of the possible endings are listed in an achievements-style menu seen at the end of each playthrough (which tells you what the ending is, leaving you to work out how to make it happen).

Each playthrough is relatively short (about 5 - 15 minutes), but I certainly played it far more than 16 times to achieve all of the endings. Youíre allowed to skip some of the lengthier or more repetitive segments after youíve completed them once already (a very welcome feature!) but thereís still a fair amount of repetition when replaying, and the lack of a save or undo feature means a small mistake can see you having to abandon a whole playthrough and start again.

An odd quirk of the gameís choice system is that options that you canít take yet (because you donít have the requisite items) are greyed out, rather than hidden completely. This means that the game gives away half its solutions almost immediately. This surprised me at first, but as soon as it clicked that the challenge is not just to win the game once, but to win it in as many ways as possible, the visible choices no longer seemed like spoilers. However, there is still a slight problem with this system: it encourages winning by accident, which can feel hollow. Thereís one ending in particular that is very easy to achieve without meaning to: (Spoiler - click to show)on my first playthrough, I won the game by accident by plugging in the UV air sanitiser on a whim, not having any idea that it would kill the vampire.

Thatís a relatively small complaint in what is otherwise a great game. Itís not without flaws, but the game is witty, well written, and most importantly, a lot of fun.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
amusing short vignette on Buffy the vampire slayer, October 6, 2016
by namekuseijin (anywhere but home)

So it seems Buffy can't take a short break from vampire-slaying even when ordering some burger. Her trained senses and keen reflexes know all too well when there's danger around. And thus, in the limited confines of a famous fast-food chain we have to deal with these bloodsuckers as best as we can without our usual tools of trade.

This was fine enough and gives you enough ways to get things right and wrong too. Fun game, finely crafted and polished.

Some have argued about that vampires are too cunning to 1) trying to hit on a McDonald's employee and 2) getting slayed so quickly by an underpowered slayer, but frankly 1) he may just be too thirsty (and plus they were alone at night until player enters) and 2) he may not be quite such old and cunning vampire. Buffy was able to slay plenty of them with the brains of a 90's cheerleader...

anyway, good game, specially great since it's a cyoa demanding more player agency than usual...

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
A delicious little game served hot with lots of ketchup, June 22, 2019
by deathbytroggles (Minneapolis, MN)

The first Twine game I played was a fantastic introduction to the system. About twenty years ago I played Will the Real Marjorie Hopkirk Please Stand Up?, a game about trying to find 100 ways to kill 100 clones. I was enthralled by the premise and disappointed it was a demo with only five solutions. So I was thrilled to finally get to play something similar that was less intimidating and more lighthearted.

I really appreciated that no significant knowledge of vampire literature is necessary as Corfman provides ample hints along the way if you're stuck. Some puzzles can be solved in multiple ways. And there's also plenty to look at and tinker with that explores the character outside of just her night shift job.

The structure isn't perfect; some playthroughs get repetitive (which was one of my criticisms of Galatea) and some paths of victory can be found by luck, though the game's brevity (and levity!) help alleviate these concerns. None of the puzzles are particularly difficult, but some are clever, and it never felt like I was mindlessly clicking on hypertext.

What shot my rating up to five stars was the game's three epilogues that provide the player with silly information about vampire stories, 16 more ways to kill a vampire (no puzzling required), and a Rashomon style section to view all your playthroughs via the eyes of one of the McDonald's employees. Corfman's writing is so delightful that I eagerly read everything and have now played this twice since its release.

See All 7 Member Reviews

If you enjoyed 16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds...

Related Games

People who like 16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds also gave high ratings to these games:

The Legend of the Missing Hat, by Adri
Average member rating: (29 ratings)
A tiny story about four tiny ninjas and a tiny top hat.

Epitaph, by Max Kreminski
Average member rating: (10 ratings)
idle game about existential risks and the death of civilizations

Hypnagogue, by Mitch Alexander
Average member rating: (5 ratings)
"Who am I?" it replies, in a voice that warbles and wavers as though it belonged to a child that had recently been crying. "I'm one of your secret cousins." ------------- You awake in the middle of the night, only to realise that your...

Suggest a game

Recommended Lists

16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds appears in the following Recommended Lists:

Doug's Top Ten of IF Comp 2016 by Doug Orleans
I played all but one of the 58 entries in IF Comp 2016 (I couldn't play Labyrinth of Loci because I don't have access to Windows or Mac OS). These were the top ten games on my ballot. Note that I rate games on slightly different criteria...

More Recommended Horror Games by thecanvasrose
A list of well-rated, reputable and interesting horror games not included in my favorite horror games list. For those looking to explore the genre in IF.


The following polls include votes for 16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds:

games with female protagonists by X.W

Games good for reading aloud to someone else by tunesmith
I'm looking for IF that works well for reading aloud to someone else, and then typing in what they would like to do. We like Inform games and parser games in general. So games that are a little more story focused, and with not as much...

For your consideration: XYZZY-eligible Puzzles of 2016 by MathBrush
This is for suggesting games released in 2016 which you think might be worth considering for Best Puzzles in the XYZZY awards. This is not a zeroth-round nomination. The category will still be text-entry, and games not mentioned here...

See all polls with votes for this game


This is version 7 of this page, edited by Doug Orleans on 8 December 2016 at 7:33pm. - View Update History - Edit This Page - Add a News Item