External Links

Competition Version
Play this game in your Web browser.

Have you played this game?

You can rate this game, record that you've played it, or put it on your wish list after you log in.

Playlists and Wishlists

RSS Feeds

New member reviews
Updates to external links
All updates to this page

16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds

by Abigail Corfman profile

Urban Fantasy

(based on 89 ratings)
5 reviews

About the Story

You're a vampire hunter on your night off.

You're getting a manicure, seeing a movie, and eating fast food.

But there's a vampire in this McDonalds.

If you don't do something, then in one hour it will eat the cashier.

Game Details


Winner, Best Puzzles; Nominee, Best Individual Puzzle - 2016 XYZZY Awards

5th Place - 22nd Annual Interactive Fiction Competition (2016)

Editorial Reviews

The Breakfast Review
Here, each key element of the vampire's seduction is observed and picked apart. It's almost a textbook explanation of what a pick-up artist might do and why he does it, broadcast to the world as a warning to prey everywhere. Or maybe a lesson for the next time you want to pick someone up at a McDonalds, in which case you better hope she hasn't played the same game. Or that she doesn't have a stake hidden up her sleeve. But seriously, thanks for the PSA. I feel now like this game is one of those fluff pieces with a gem of wisdom hidden in it.
See the full review

It's a true puzzler, requiring lateral thinking and creative use of every element around you, of a type that generally doesn't exist in the choice-based arena, yet it retains all the instant accessibility of that format.
See the full review


- View the most common tags (What's a tag?)

(Log in to add your own tags)
Tags you added are shown below with checkmarks. To remove one of your tags, simply un-check it.

Enter new tags here (use commas to separate tags):

Member Reviews

5 star:
4 star:
3 star:
2 star:
1 star:
Average Rating:
Number of Reviews: 5
Write a review

Most Helpful Member Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
A delicious little game served hot with lots of ketchup, June 22, 2019
by deathbytroggles (Minneapolis, MN)

The first Twine game I played was a fantastic introduction to the system. About twenty years ago I played Will the Real Marjorie Hopkirk Please Stand Up?, a game about trying to find 100 ways to kill 100 clones. I was enthralled by the premise and disappointed it was a demo with only five solutions. So I was thrilled to finally get to play something similar that was less intimidating and more lighthearted.

I really appreciated that no significant knowledge of vampire literature is necessary as Corfman provides ample hints along the way if you're stuck. Some puzzles can be solved in multiple ways. And there's also plenty to look at and tinker with that explores the character outside of just her night shift job.

The structure isn't perfect; some playthroughs get repetitive (which was one of my criticisms of Galatea) and some paths of victory can be found by luck, though the game's brevity (and levity!) help alleviate these concerns. None of the puzzles are particularly difficult, but some are clever, and it never felt like I was mindlessly clicking on hypertext.

What shot my rating up to five stars was the game's three epilogues that provide the player with silly information about vampire stories, 16 more ways to kill a vampire (no puzzling required), and a Rashomon style section to view all your playthroughs via the eyes of one of the McDonald's employees. Corfman's writing is so delightful that I eagerly read everything and have now played this twice since its release.

Was this review helpful to you?   Yes   No   Remove vote  
More Options

 | Add a comment 

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
Curly fries on fangs., January 6, 2024
by Rovarsson (Belgium)


Your first night off in like, forever, one of the few times you have enough change in your pockets to treat yourself to some comfort grease-food, perhaps washing down this fight with Luke, taking time to chat a bit with the nice waitress, and there's one of those bloodsucking hypermosquitoes at McDonalds?

Can't a girl get some well-deserved rest for once?

Halfway through the hour or so I played 16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds, an old math joke I heard once resurfaced:

>If an engineer wakes up because the trashcan in her hotel room is burning, she'll get the fire extinguisher and put out the fire, then call the fire brigade.
If it's a chemist, he'll cover the thrashcan with a tight lid, trusting the lack of oxygen will take care of the flames.
A mathematician will scan the room and go back to sleep once she sees the sink, assured that a solution exists.

I felt like the mathematician after a while in 16 Ways. I had successfully killed the vampire in 4 ways ((Spoiler - click to show)UV-light, Plunger Stake, Machine Gun Scripture, Holy Squirt Gun). While I was searching my surroundings and setting up preparations for these four (and a bunch of less prepared other attempts which resulted in death...), I saw many glimpses and clues for a bunch of others ((Spoiler - click to show)I think these would work: Call the Cavalry x 2, Garlic Fries Poison Bait, Holy Bucket Door Gag, Frame the Vampire, Close-up Cross Necklace). After going through the game about a dozen times, I put it aside, content with my four confirmed kills and satisfied that solutions existed for the rest.

After going around a few times, starting anew to get each kill-method set up just right began to get tedious. Exacerbating the situation was the feeling that I was being punished for being playful. I feel this game sorely lack an UNDO-button. A bunch of times I chose an obviously *wrong* option, just to see what would happen. While the resulting death/failure scenes were nice, their entertainment value didn't balance out the chore of restarting, even with the option to skip the intro.

About that: I feel the intro is by far the best part of the game. The narrator's voice, part internal monologue, part half-annoyed explanatory grumbling at the player, is funny and hints at a complex character. Add to this the glimpses of background worldbuilding and the fragments about the PC's relationship with her friends/colleagues and her mother, and the short intro proves to be an impressive and effective piece of writing. It does a lot of heavy lifting, placing just the right images and associations in the player's mind to create the impression of a full, real world and a rounded PC personality.

Fun game, good writing, nice for a quick dip, great for completionists.

Was this review helpful to you?   Yes   No   Remove vote  
More Options

 | Add a comment 

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
A complex and well-clued twine game about killing vampires, May 10, 2017

This game is by the author of Open Sorcery, one of the best Twine games.

In this game, you play a side character in a Buffy the Vampire Slayer-type world. You need to kill a vampire!

The game is heavily location-and-inventory based, similar to the other high-rated IFComp 2016 games Cactus Blue Motel and the Shoe Dept.

There are a lot of clever tricks, like testing you on how well you know classic texts, useful items hid among unuseful items.

The cluing is excellent; any one ending will give you hints on the other 15, and options that you should have thought of but didn't are greyed out.

It does have an unnecessarily large amount of profanity, though.

Was this review helpful to you?   Yes   No   Remove vote  
More Options

 | Add a comment 

See All 5 Member Reviews

16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds on IFDB

Recommended Lists

16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds appears in the following Recommended Lists:

Doug's Top Ten of IF Comp 2016 by Doug Orleans
I played all but one of the 58 entries in IF Comp 2016 (I couldn't play Labyrinth of Loci because I don't have access to Windows or Mac OS). These were the top ten games on my ballot. Note that I rate games on slightly different criteria...

More Recommended Horror Games by thecanvasrose
A list of well-rated, reputable and interesting horror games not included in my favorite horror games list. For those looking to explore the genre in IF.

Twine games with free range of movement: A personal list by Kinetic Mouse Car
Free range of movement means the gameplay has parser qualities without the parser part. It allows you to wander around and interact directly with objects or talk to characters in your environment. This list does NOT require games to have...


The following polls include votes for 16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds:

Games good for reading aloud to someone else by tunesmith
I'm looking for IF that works well for reading aloud to someone else, and then typing in what they would like to do. We like Inform games and parser games in general. So games that are a little more story focused, and with not as much...

Choice-based puzzlefests by Spike
I enjoy games with lots of good puzzles, but so far nearly all the ones I've played have a parser-based interface. This poll is to help me find good choice-based puzzlefests.

For your consideration: XYZZY-eligible Puzzles of 2016 by MathBrush
This is for suggesting games released in 2016 which you think might be worth considering for Best Puzzles in the XYZZY awards. This is not a zeroth-round nomination. The category will still be text-entry, and games not mentioned here...

See all polls with votes for this game

This is version 11 of this page, edited by JTN on 2 April 2024 at 12:10am. - View Update History - Edit This Page - Add a News Item - Delete This Page