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You Are a Zombie Yelp Reviewer

by Geoffrey Golden profile

Horror, Humor

Web Site

(based on 8 ratings)
4 reviews

About the Story

Tell the post-apocalyptic internet about your brain-eating experience in this funny, short, choice-based interactive fiction game where you play an outspoken zombie with opinions on cuisine.

You've just eaten the braaaaains of a terrified man! This is the zombie apocalypse, after all, and you are very much a zombie. But what did you think of his brains as a meal? Were they tasty? Did his brains have a pleasant mouthfeel? Was the service what you expected? Craft your review by recounting the experience you had killing a pedestrian and snacking on his cerebellum, then post it for the world to read.

Game Details


15th Place, La Petite Mort - English - ECTOCOMP 2022


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Number of Reviews: 4
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
Undercooked, November 7, 2022
by Kinetic Mouse Car
Related reviews: Ink, Horror, ECTOCOMP

You are a zombie reviewing a meal.

I was not anticipating an undead connoisseur penning comprehensive reviews after sampling a smorgasbord of brains. Based on the words “Yelp Reviewer” I figured that the game would put the player in the role of someone who wants to write an earnest review about their dining experience, the catch being that they are a zombie eating brains. But above all I was expecting the game to take things a little more seriously.

Instead, the game opts for an ALL-CAPS approach to everything. Zombies are not going to be the most eloquent of review writers (although the PC is obviously tech-savvy enough to use a smartphone and an app) but having, "SO ME STUMBLE AROUND LOOKING FOR BRAINS" the entire time felt like it was trying to get the player to laugh.

Nor does it really “review” brains. It barely feels like a Yelp review. My guess is that the author wanted to include some backstory, which is great, but ends up cramming it into the zombie’s review to the point where it becomes a ramble of how the man was slaughtered. Critiquing the quality of the brains occurs in the last choice in the gameplay. It reminds me of Yelp reviews of restaurants that focus on how they found the place rather than their experience inside of it.

I must say, the title of the game is pretty cool. Yelp reviewing + Zombie is a creative idea that drew me in. The final product, however, did not sell. Geoffrey Golden is a talented author. If you have played Use Your Psychic Powers at Applebee’s, you can see his knack for humor and novel ideas, and I encourage you to do so. But You Are a Zombie Yelp Reviewer is a clever concept that needs more development for it to be palatable.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
When there's no more room in Taco Bell, the dead will walk the earth, November 2, 2022
by jakomo
Related reviews: ectocomp2022

Does exactly what it says on the tin. You're a surprisingly high-functioning zombie, who speaks like Grunk in Lost Pig, munching on human brain and posting an online review. Simple choice-based silliness. Here's a sample: "ME VERY SMART. ME ONCE EAT BRAINS OF MAN WHO ME BELIEVE WAS BESTSELL AUTHOR MALCOLM GLADWELL!!!” Like the zombie's victim, completely disposable, but tasty while it lasts.

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Just a bit undercooked, November 21, 2022
by Draconis
Related reviews: Ectocomp 2022

This is a very short (less-than-five-minute) choice-based game that’s exactly what it says on the tin. You’re a zombie who just ate someone’s brain, and you’re reviewing the experience on Yelp.

The frame narrative is neat. You’re choosing the course of the story as you narrate it to your online audience, explaining-and-deciding how exactly you caught this person and ate his brains.

Unfortunately, the overall experience just felt lacking. It was a nice short game, but it didn’t feel complete the way the similarly-short Zombie Eye did—I was left feeling like I hadn’t really done anything, and the game hadn’t really said anything to me. This is quite reasonable for a Petite Mort, though, and the writing of the review works; if I had more experience with Yelp, the parody might have hit harder.

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A light snack of a game about reviewing zombie brains, November 14, 2022
by MathBrush
Related reviews: less than 15 minutes

This game has a pretty simple concept and executes it well. You are a zombie who has just completed a tasty meal of brains, and so you write a yelp review.

You pick the number of stars, describe its connection with past meals, discuss how you approached the entree/victim, etc. It's all pretty brief, but I didn't see any bugs, and it was descriptive and funny.

Overall, a nice note to end playing the ectocomp games on.

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