nine months out

In less than five hundred words, this game gets to the heart of what it means to be a new parent. More importantly, it reveals how parenting is in actuality a state of vulnerability.

I think that's a valuable lesson for anyone of any age, even those who plan to not have children. Too many stories deal with either the best or worst parents, which leave experiences like this hidden from plain view. Stories like this are more needed than ever.

I identified with this a lot. It's a story about the agonies of feelings of inadequacy after childbirth. I remember that feeling after my son was born and knowing that every second of the rest of my life (at least for a decade or two) somebody had to be watching and taking care of him. I remember panicking when some numeric milestone wasn't reached like weight and I remember the first time he had a serious injury. The protagonist is hit even harder, though, as there seems to be very strong post-partum depression and/or anxiety, so it must be a truly rough experience. The author clearly loves the child but that doesn't make it easier; if you didn't love, didn't care, then things would be great, because you wouldn't have to stress about the kid. It's the love that allows the anxiety to take hold, which adds to the guilt. So it's all very relatable.

Childbirth can be both a wonderful and traumatic experience, and the following period is no better. Nell gives a very personal and raw account of the anxiety, worries, feelings of not being enough, not having done enough, and struggles with one’s body not responding the way you wish it to. The use of the textboxes added onto the layers of those feelings, as they pile up on top of one another without a way to process them fully.
It is also a wonderful love letter to her newborn, a love pouring through those words, unending and unwavering through it all. It takes a lot of courage to be this vulnerable.