nine months out

I identified with this a lot. It's a story about the agonies of feelings of inadequacy after childbirth. I remember that feeling after my son was born and knowing that every second of the rest of my life (at least for a decade or two) somebody had to be watching and taking care of him. I remember panicking when some numeric milestone wasn't reached like weight and I remember the first time he had a serious injury. The protagonist is hit even harder, though, as there seems to be very strong post-partum depression and/or anxiety, so it must be a truly rough experience. The author clearly loves the child but that doesn't make it easier; if you didn't love, didn't care, then things would be great, because you wouldn't have to stress about the kid. It's the love that allows the anxiety to take hold, which adds to the guilt. So it's all very relatable.