Dad's Shiva

Dad’s Shiva is a choice-based game about visiting your sister during the official mourning period for your father, though you didn’t have a good relationship with either of them. The family’s past is a thorny mess of hurt and secrets and resentment (mind the content warnings if you’re sensitive to stories about child abuse), and while poking around your sister’s apartment you can ferret some things out, but you can’t really fix anything.

The writing is simple and effective, and I liked the specificity of the New York Jewish community that it’s set in, reflected in the details of the setting and the distinctive Yiddish-inflected syntax of some of the dialogue. The PC is a little bit of an enigma outside of their trauma; the true character centerpiece is not the PC nor even the titular father, but the PC’s sister, Miranda, who is complicated and unpleasant but not one-dimensionally hateable.

The endings deny any real closure or catharsis; I wouldn’t say they come unexpectedly, but there’s an uneasy sense of non-resolution, a lack of some significant final action to take. Which is perfectly appropriate to the subject matter; really, anything else might have felt too pat.

This was a pretty grim short story with a lot of room to explore and contemplate. In it, you play as someone estranged from an abusive father who has now died in hospice at your sister’s house.

The death of a close relative who as abusive is especially upsetting, as you have grief without anything to offset it. Or you have neither grief nor happiness at first. I had two grandfathers die within a few years of each other; one was beloved and surrounded by multiple generations that he had raised, even down to a great-grandson he had raised as his own. The other grandfather had been physically abusive to his children in their youth, and when he was older he smoked so much that none of the grandkids wanted to visit much due to the smell. His death felt so much less to me than the other grandfather. Years later, I thought about him more, and performed some rituals for the dead (part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), and that helped me connect with his memory more.

Sexual abuse can dig even deeper; I’ve met several friends and extended family members whose most deeply held secret was sexual abuse by someone close to them, often someone they still saw on a regular basis and cared for as a relative while simultaneously being hurt. So many kids have a putative dad or presumed-absent dad in public and a ‘real’ dad that can’t be made public because they were an abusive uncle or grandparent.

This game captured all of those feelings really well; everything felt so authentic, down to one relative denying the abuse ever happened and kids having trouble talking about it as adults.

The end I found was fitting. It took me a second to realize it was the end; it might have helped me process it more quickly if there was a signifier of the ending, like a horizontal ruling or the words “the end” or “fin”, but those are stylistic choices up to the author.

Good writing, bad feeling.