Turbo Chest Hair Massacre

I went into this expecting a weakly implemented joke, and instead I found smart writing in a parser-based exploration of what it means to be in a relationship.

Yes, it contains coarse language and erotic themes, but they’re artistically justifiable coarse language and erotic themes. Without them, the Turbo Chest Hair Massacre experience would be incomplete.

A wide variety of tools can be applied to the main problem, and they are uncovered by exploring the environment and interacting with the main character’s roommate. I enjoyed their different observations and reactions; they are clearly defined through sharp writing.

I was also entertained by how Turbo Chest Hair Massacre nudges the player towards obviously terrible solutions that are easy to attempt. Some of my worst ideas were smoothly executed without having to guess any verbs.

If I have but one regret, it’s that I didn’t spend more time exploring new frontiers of personal hygiene with Turbo Chest Hair Massacre. It was fun as hell.

This game contains many elements I had not expected. Suffice to say it makes the story peculiar and interesting. It is nicely imaginative and features a surprising mechanic as well. Puzzlewise, it felt a bit strange, like an ocean of red herrings. The author seems to have created takeable objects for almost every conceivable thing that reasonably could exist in the house, including a full wardrobe and tons of kitchen utensils. After a few turns of “take all” my inventory list felt demotivatingly long.

One major problem with Turbo Chest Hair Massacre (the version marked 8 Oct) is that a certain item completely takes over the “it” pronoun, something I obviously kept forgetting about every two minutes. I encountered a few other bugs too, though nothing big. Overall, the game is quite well implemented, and the story is good, though I think the playing would actually be more enjoyable with slightly fewer pairs of socks in the inventory.

Turbo Chest Hair Massacre doesn't take itself seriously. The first piece of evidence for this is that it's called Turbo Chest Hair Massacre. The writing is the best part of it (it's Andrew Hussian in spots, which is always welcome) and the worldbuilding (shocking for a game about chest hair, I know) is surprisingly artfully done. The game mechanics are much more about faffing about than actually achieving a goal, but it's entertaining to see what solutions the game lets you attempt and fail at. The last part is extremely fun, largely because it slips the surly bonds of innuendo by making the language so libidinous, the proverbial vicar would know what's up.

Turbo Chest Hair Massacree, they took my baby away from me, but she'll never get out of there, she'll never out of there...