Reviews by Ogre
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Fun little Story, January 6, 2021Good setup and good idea for a story. I like the first page and the tense setup to get me fully immersed in the story. I liked that I had options from the start, but one was confusing – if I talked to both guards, I could no longer go to the admissions office, I had only one option and that was to go to the train station. Of course, that directed me back to the admissions office, anyway, but still.
It was interesting that I could go back to the train station and talk with the old guy a second time. I thought it would be a loop, but it was not, so that was quite nice. There were a couple tense issues with verbs here and there that were jarring as the tense jumped from past to present, but not often enough to really put too much of a dent in the story.
It was a neat and fun story. I liked the pace and the options that kept me entertained for a bit. I did like the different options and was pleased to find that there was more than one way to escape. Sure, it could have been longer, but it was certainly nice for what was there, and it did feel like a complete story. Thank you for sharing this story with the site.
Another great start, January 6, 2021This story really starts out great! It sounds like a classic fantasy tale of adventure and heroism – then it gets to the farm life of the every day kid who escapes to start a new life. Good stuff! I also like that as soon as the story starts out that you have choices that affect the story. I had a lot of fun working my way through the story and enjoyed all the different places that I could visit and see. There were not a ton of details for each location and each person, but there were enough to make the story interesting and to keep my interest.
I also really liked how the different options and choices led to different situations, yet they all seemed to tie together at the end (unless you died). I made it to the epilogue – and while the story was good and complete, I’m ready for the story to continue. At the same time, I think just about every page could be expanded with more detail and more description. There could be more descriptions of each person that you encounter. There could be more about the travel, the areas where you travel, and even individual buildings and places that you see on your travels. Overall though, a very good story, thank you for sharing it with the site.
Nice start, but..., January 6, 2021I liked the setup, though it seemed quite fantastic. It was enough to get me interesting in reading the story. However, the first page left me feeling quite lacking. There was some vague reference to earth. Then I went and saved a kitten. Then there was just one option. I’m not sure I understand why many authors put very little information on a page and then only provide one option. If there’s not a significant change in scene or point of view, or something similar, just slap all those pages without options onto one page that actually ends with the options – that would make much more sense to me, anyway.
The first options I have are a pick-the-right-choice-or-die options. I hope that doesn’t continue. A “superhuman-looking human?” Nice. Wait, it’s over?
That was a nice story with good spelling, grammar, and the like. I really appreciated that there were options and many of the options actually affected the story. The story was very short, though. I think this story has a lot of potential and really could be expanded to have more options, more development, and a more complete story. Or, since this is clearly an older story, another author might take the ideas started in this story, expand on them, and write an additional story based in this world.
Difficult, January 6, 2021Adding to mizal's review, yes, this has a lot of inside jokes. But at the same time, it is still kind of enjoyable, even if you don't know the jokes. Many of the jokes can just be written off as silly things that go on, so the story still works. That said, to actually solve this and get to the end is quite difficult. You're not going to just click your way through and find the ending for this story. You've got to work at it and I'd guess that most people have needed help from the author to find the final solution to this one - but you're welcome to try!
Not Awful, but short, January 6, 2021The premise of this game sounds good. There is certainly a great deal of potential based on the description. In fact, you could likely write a novel-length choose your own story with that idea. Sadly, I can see before I read this that the story has only a length of 3/8, so I’m not expecting a great deal from this one…
Ouch. The very first page has a misspelling on it. But then it gets worse because the first page appears to ask a question of me, the reader, but then doesn’t give me a choice, I have to click on the single option I’m presented with. Now I do think there’s times when you can end a page with a single choice. There are some instances when that makes perfect sense. But in this case, with one and a half lines via two sentences and a sentence fragment, that’s not the place to give me one option to move on. Instead, why not just include whatever is on the next page on this page until you reach the point where the reader actually has something to choose from?
I do like that the next page actually has a couple options and those options do appear to have an effect on the story – that’s what a CYOA is all about! Interesting enough, though, the very next page in both cases give me exactly one more selection again. Throughout the story, most page are just one line and sometimes there’s a choice, but more often there’s not. This would be much stronger if all those pages without choices were combined to the point where choices were available on every page.
I do like that some of the options clearly do have an effect on the story. There’s more than one path and different results, and that’s nice to see, especially in such a short story.
A Bit Short, January 2, 2021This story was apparently written in a very short period of time, but I’m not impressed with the uses of the English language on the first page with all the swears. Sure, I guess that’s the way someone might talk and all, but usually that’s just not needed in the written word.
Beyond that, well, at least there are choices in this story. There are indeed options that lead the reader off in different directions and the choices do appear to have a clear effect on the story. Beyond that, well, there’s just not all that much to this story. Most of the story seems to be focused on trying to kill police rather than actually trying to get some bacon (though perhaps that was the point of the story). So sure, this was written in 76 minutes, but perhaps it would have been quite a bit better if some more time was spent on it.
Fun Real-Life Adventure, January 2, 2021This is a short story, and it's a real story about a boy and his girl. It is a lot of fun and entertaining, despite it's length. While the choices generally push you in one direction, it is a fun bit reading about the challenges he faced leading up to that fateful day! Take a few minutes if you just want a quick smile!
Awesome, January 1, 2021This game is just first-class awesomeness. Sure, the author could have written all the tons of scripting and manipulation to make a poker-playing card game and that would have been enough. But instead, this author went way beyond that and included hilarious pictures on the cards and even a story about aliens who somehow know how to play poker in the first place!
I loved the way that it kept going for a long time, forcing you try and beat more and more aliens as the game progressed. I’m not sure how I was able to beat so many so easily, and I wonder if the game might be slightly tipped in my favor (or if the AI behind the aliens is as dumb as the aliens or even non-existent). But it was still absolutely tons of fun. I don’t know why this isn’t rated eight by everyone who plays it – I’m guessing those are alienphobes or something.
This is a really great example of some of the extremes that are possible with this site and the scripting languages and variables that are available to authors. Yes, you can write some great stories here, but if you learn more about how these things works, you, too, can create masterful games like this. Thanks so much for taking all the time it took to write this thing and for sharing it with the site!
I liked it, January 1, 2021I liked it a lot
Brief Fun, January 1, 2021This story is a blast if you need a laugh. As others mentioned, it's a bit short, and yes, it is quite silly as well. But if you need a quick laugh, I strongly suggest this one!
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