External Links

MS-DOS Application (Compressed with ZIP. Free Unzip tools are available for most systems at www.info-zip.org.)
Play Online via archive.org
Play this game in your Web browser.

Have you played this game?

You can rate this game, record that you've played it, or put it on your wish list after you log in.

Playlists and Wishlists

RSS Feeds

New member reviews
Updates to external links
All updates to this page

Another Lifeless Planet and Me With No Beer

by Dennis Drew

Humor, Space Exploration

(based on 1 rating)
1 review

Game Details

Editorial Reviews

[...] the prose being grammatically correct doesn't make it good, or even interesting. Even though the genre is the cheapest kind of space opera (complete with icky monsters and blaster-wielding aliens) which usually gives lots of opportunities for atmosphere and excitement, both these elements are conspicuous only by their absence. The attempts at humour don't improve things; at their best, the jokes aren't very funny (and, no, Virginia, telling four variations on the same bad joke in the first thirty rooms isn't four times as funny as telling it once).
-- Magnus Olsson
See the full review


- View the most common tags (What's a tag?)

(Log in to add your own tags)
Tags you added are shown below with checkmarks. To remove one of your tags, simply un-check it.

Enter new tags here (use commas to separate tags):

Member Reviews

Average Rating:
Number of Reviews: 1
Write a review

2 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
Funny, but playable?, April 2, 2010
by tggdan3 (Michigan)

Another Lifeless Planet and Me with No Beer.

First of all, the planet is hardly lifeless, as one of the first things you'll see is an alien that kills you. But I digress.

The writing here is pretty funny, such as the description when you fall down the seemingly bottomless hole, thinking about how far it can possibly go before you hit the bo-!

The game has a two word parser, and being an old game that's understandable. The problem is that so many things in the game are poorly described or illogical.

For example, opening a small door (and having a creature come out of it) suggests a way you can go. However, trying to enter the door is met with failure, until you finally discover that the door is really a panel, not an entry way, which houses 2 buttons. Since there is a two word parser, "look in small-door" "reach in small-door" etc does not work. On top of that, many puzzles are illogical. (Apparantly, for some reason, an alien won't attack you if you're carrying a specific item, which makes no sense).

There are some combat scenes, and the style of combat changes as you enter different zones. Sometimes you actually have what appears to be a D&D style combat with damage based on HP damage, but in another zone, guns do a one hit kill with no combat mechanic at all.

The biggest complaint is that apparantly the game never came with an instruction book, as an avertisement in the beginning declares it as shareware, and suggests you mail $10 to the author for an instruction book, making it seem not only cheap, but rediculous, since the whole game is available. It becomes easy to SAVE your game, but figuring out how to restore your saved game has been impossible, leaving you to start over every time you die (which will be often).

The game does have a few nice bits, however- obvious exits are listed, as are obvious items to interact with, which is good, since many objects have two word names seperated by a hyphen to make them one word (such as small-stone) and the game would not recognise stone instead of small-stone. These do not auto-refresh, so you'll have to LOOK again if you want an update on the room. There are also some small graphics (ASCII of course) which add a bit to the gameplay.

The success comes from the conversational and joking writing style (such as the frog princess, who kisses you to return to being a princess, then looks at you, screams, and turns back into a frog). Lots of jokes, but outside of that, it's little surprise that the game doesn't have a huge following. The puzzles (such as they are) are not too inventive- there's literally a hangman game puzzle (timed of course), and a lot of (get the item to pass the barrier).

I like this game- though it's more nastolgic for me- I first played it back in middle school when it first came out. For someone used to the works of Emily Short, or even big Infocom fans- this game will probably get on your nerves pretty quickly.

Was this review helpful to you?   Yes   No   Remove vote  
More Options

 | Add a comment 

Another Lifeless Planet and Me With No Beer on IFDB

Recommended Lists

Another Lifeless Planet and Me With No Beer appears in the following Recommended Lists:

Good Games, Poor Parser by tggdan3
Games that you should just grit your teeth and try to complete, despite the poor parser, either because of great story or puzzles.


The following polls include votes for Another Lifeless Planet and Me With No Beer:

Best IF Titles by Fredrik
No doubt you have played some great games with great titles, or been disappointed to find games with great titles that did not hold up to expectations. What are the best titles of IF? They can be funny, elegant, evocative, or whatever...

The Most Obscure Commercial IF Game I've Ever Played by Xervosh
I'm hoping to be reminded of some of the obscure little IF games I may have played during the 1980s, but since can't recall. In addition, this poll may get a few more obscure games from the 1980s (or early 90s, or late 70s) listed in the...

This is version 3 of this page, edited by Lance Campbell on 25 May 2020 at 6:49pm. - View Update History - Edit This Page - Add a News Item - Delete This Page