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Digital Witnesses

by rosencrantz profile

Science Fiction
2014

Web Site

(based on 15 ratings)
4 reviews

About the Story

You are on the run, but why?

A short fiction created in twenty-three Twine passages, prompted by a challenge on Twinery.org.


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Member Reviews

5 star:
(2)
4 star:
(9)
3 star:
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Number of Reviews: 4
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Most Helpful Member Reviews


4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
., September 14, 2016

This is a short, post-apocalyptic Dynamic IF. You are escaping from an unknown force and you reminisce of those you are leaving behind. But someone is waiting for you at the end.

The game is short but felt quite long to me since this is dynamic fiction and the writer managed to write a full world in 23 passages. I liked how the CSS was the color of escaping dirt and dust, but the coloring was nice, tolerable, pleasing to the eye. It's a dark brown with an autumn orange text.

There were parts where you clicked links that led to other links and then somehow along the way you end up reading something you've already read. Which happens sometimes but there were times where I was actually lost. But I guess this may have been a puzzle mechanic? Which is common in IF, where you will go through a maze of links and choices to eventually find that ending and that's not actually a bad thing.

Pros: A fun Sci-Fi. I was slightly reminded of Marie Lu's Legend for some odd reason.
Cons: Some people might find the clicking in between the passages a little confusing.

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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
A short story of future escape, February 24, 2014
by Hanon Ondricek (United States)

This was done as a challenge to create a story with 23 passages in Twine. The writing is clear, evocative, and sure.

Other than the brief length, the limitations seem to pose no problem for the author, although I did find myself looping to the same passages several times. This doesn't hurt, because there are extra links to investigate each time.

23 screens doesn't seem like much, but the author intelligently structures this so it doesn't feel like a small story. Very well done.

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
Punchy dystopian story with a familiar plot, March 22, 2018
by verityvirtue (London)
Related reviews: choleric

You are running. From what? Where to?

Digital Witnesses is set within a futuristic, post-apocalyptic world, one which regulates every step its citizens make, every role each person plays - think of your standard dystopia - think Brave New World and The Giver and The Island. You, your running: that is a spanner in the well-oiled works of the city.

The passage constraint means that, for economy, passages loop round. Chunks of backstory are revealed as you go along, and it gradually becomes clear what the stakes of this are on you. (Note the phrasing: this is dynamic fiction - not linear, because it is not told linearly, but without choices in the traditional story-altering sense either.)

The world building here is evocative, eschewing exhaustive detail for revealing it through actions and people. Perhaps the predictable setting and plot works for it - what else would a dystopian story be about other than escape? - since it allows the reader to fill in the details with their imagination, and allowing the reader to focus on the craft of the writing rather than the mechanics of the world. Certainly this was an enjoyable, short piece of dynamic fiction with the pacing of a movie.

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