Ratings and Reviews by JJ McC

Played: 7/6/24
Playtime: 13min, 8 playthroughs

GONNA DISCUSS WITH BIG SPOILERS, LIKE NOTHING BUT
it’s pretty short, go ahead and play first

Is there anything more dispiriting than social impotence? Is dispiriting the right word? It feels like it is, but it also feels like it isn’t… big enough? That your life exists only in the minds of those around you and no amount of cleverness, resistance, will or empathy, nothing actually of you makes the slightest difference in that. History is choked with marginalized peoples and genders that exist as outright property of others. Vast swaths of modern life still carry these impulses, usually applied to people whose lives and agendas are inconvenient to our own narratives. It is the worst kind of dehumanizing. I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t try to rank those kinds of things. It’s pretty bad though.

This is a work that uses a heroic narrative from Greek mythology to drive that point home. The packaging is super attractive, opening with classic art, then a story-appropriate background painting of roiling seas under translucent text box. As a player, you are making a series of choices as Andromeda during her attempted sacrifice and subsequent rescue. An amusing variety of responses from ‘sweep me away broad shoulders’ to ‘back off entitled ass’ are available to you. The inability of any of those choices to alter your path are the crux of the work. You can be sassy, reasonable, unreasonable, compliant or enthusiastic, and none of it gives you initiative in your own life. Depending on a particular runthrough, this can vary the experience from spineless surrender to despairing defeat.

It is worth noting that “nothing you do will change anything” is one of the emergent staples of IF-as-narrative. Its theme-to-implementation-difficulty equation has an off the charts ratio, especially in shorter works. It is one of the easiest things to implement, no? No branching narrative, maybe a state variable or two, just the one path with some alternate text. The success or failure of a work like this depends pretty definitively on how convincing and/or entertaining that message is, relative the theme of the piece.

It is pretty perfect against a theme of social impotence.

Is it fun? I mean, does that SOUND fun to you? This is not a piece aimed at entertainment per se (though some branches to have a wry wit to them). It has a point of view, a message, and is super effective at delivering it. As a short work of interactive art, AC accomplishes a vivid, crushing evocation. This f@%#ing sucks. Remember that, sez the work.

Played: 6/7/24
Playtime: 15min, lost, 1.25hrs later, won

The Way Home is an ADRIFT game. For a Linux user, ADRIFT games are … suboptimal. As far as I can tell, the only way to play is to run Frankendrift after installing MS .NET (ptoo ptoo). Which, because I am a hero of BASHian proportions, I did. Frankendrift had some performance issues when I tested this, but I am given to understand those have been subsequently improved.

This is not the game’s fault in any case, and I hope I can tease out the negative coloring it imparted to the experience. I will say I did appreciate the crude but effective-enough mapping window. Thanks to sometimes spotty direction descriptions it was very useful.

The game itself is part 2 of a fantasy adventure, though as these things typically go, is more puzzle than swashbuckling. Also very much NOT required to play part 1. It stands on its own with two meaty puzzles composed of subordinate mini-puzzles. Very classic vibe in that way. I understand it to be an update of a Commodore 64 game? Wow, cool! I can very much see this being of that time and place. Descriptions are spare, from a time when storage was not cheaper than water. Just enough to set the stage and highlight important items, with bare minimum chrome to color things. Gameplay is very much classic parser, with a limited but set-complete vocabulary. Also very classic in that synonyms are in short supply.

I am happy to report that the hint system is fully functional, helpful, and context aware. I needed it twice, once because I was convinced I needed to (Spoiler - click to show)build a sled instead of … somehow… (Spoiler - click to show)ride a ladder, and a second time because (Spoiler - click to show)locksmith was not a synonym for keymaster. I wouldn’t say either of those were infuriating, but neither were they satisfying once spoiled. I will also say that while I did solve another puzzle it felt very much like an “if all you have is a rat, all problems look like cheese” situation. There are some death fails, but thankfully they occur early enough in the proceedings that a restart isn’t TOO onerous.

So yeah, very faithful old school recreation, of a time when IF technology was more fussy, puzzles more streamlined and idiosyncratic, and prose less adorned. I didn’t dislike the experience, but it is hard to justify the interpreter struggle to my fellow linux users. For non-linux it is a nice dose of old school Adventure, still cruel but less than most, good for a relatively tight nostalgia shot.

Played: 7/6/24
Playtime: 15min, chapter1

I did not expect this here! A preview chapter of a pay-to-play text adventure! I am delighted beyond words that this thing exists. The application was very attractive on my Motorola - a very professional, evocative presentation, graphically appealing, choices sliding in crisply from the sidelines to facilitate my agency.

There is a bit more text here than I was ready for - some pages required scrolling to get to choices, though I must say that friction quickly faded. The writing is warm and functional, but still concise enough to not waste your time so it rarely felt like description for description sake. It FELT very ChoiceScripty to me. There was a good bit of establishing character traits and physical appearance, some soft relationship building all on the way to a background mystery involving your brother and his shifty Dwarf friend.

As a preview, it had a few things going against it. For one, the non-character choices you were making had uncertain effect on the narrative. It wasn’t clear beyond some flavor text ANY choices actually did anything. Which is always an unfair statement, clearly building character is ‘doing something.’ But relative gameplay there were few hints your choices had consequences or effects. Meaning by the end of the chapter I didn’t really have a feel for what this fellow I was building would be DOING in subsequent chapters. What my gameplay was going to be.

For a second, as an intro chapter, it had a LOT of infodump work to do in establishing setting, NPCs, stakes, and of course your ChoiceScript Character Sheet. The setting is super Tolkien adjacent. Not a dig. Featuring Halflings, there is no universe where that is not true. It also includes a distant man-elf war against a dark power. A mysterious ‘protector’ that has really strong Ranger vibes. It’s close is what I’m saying. It also seemingly extends my least favorite Tolkien artifact, elvish racism against Dwarves, to Halflings. Why is THAT the JRR Touchstone?? All of it is pleasantly enough conveyed (barring that poor Dwarf - which, to be clear, I am exaggerating for effect), but for a High Fantasy Tourist like me, not so compellingly.

For my part, being a casual-at-best ChoiceScript engager, unmoved by fantasy as a genre, and unclear what kind of IF ride I would be signing on for, I probably pass on the rest of it. If I had any suggestions, and I recognize like most post-publication feedback is mostly academic, I would proffer that the free trail chapter might be better served showcasing gameplay to some extent: a training wheels combat, introductory throwaway find-use puzzles, a quick relationship based levelup, whatever the game itself centers on. Something to telegraph the gameplay to follow. To its credit, I will say the combination of presentation, crisp writing, and toned down CS-iness had its charms, even to me. I could see ChoiceScript fans having a more promising engagement, and fantasy fans finding a lot to be happy with here. If you consider yourself one or both of those, I do recommend it.

Adapted from a SpringThing24 Review

Played: 4/16/24
Playtime: 15min

This is a fully realized work that really weaves a spell. A full-on Dada exercise, it leans into dream-logic more effectively than any work I can think of. To the extent there is a frame to this, the protagonist is wandering around some rundown tropical resort. Yeah, that’s it. Everywhere they (she? probably she.) goes, eerie stuff happens around her. Human sized cats. An extended airport luggage claim sequence, where luggage are bird masks. Sugar sculptures of off-putting folktales. Sassy teens. All of it taken in stride by the protagonist.

The text is magnetic. It conveys so much, so singularly, with economy and punch. Each encounter is starkly realized, yet has its own vibe. Most of us have a limited well of imagery to draw on. When composing absurd Dada, it can become all too easy for fascinations, phrasings or images to repeat or resonate with each other in a way that ultimately constrains the effect. This author is wildly, perhaps distressingly, without bounds. I found the encounters to be singular and unique, and that breadth of vision coupled with the protagonist’s even responses set the tone of the piece more than any other thing. I cannot laud the vision and articulation highly enough.

I particularly like the head fake of (Spoiler - click to show)the luggage claim sequence. Pretending to (Spoiler - click to show)‘wake up’ only to discover no, still immersed in weird. The most effective use of interactivity for me were the links that replaced text on the page. The linked text was tightly integrated into the page layout in a smart way that ALSO reinforced the weirdness of the links. Even the navigation links, while not providing much influence over things (you are always going to click all the links), nevertheless provided a sense of exploration.

If I have a quibble with this piece, it is ‘What is the point of it?’ There are four endings that only kind of resonate with the one impactful choice you get to make. And only kind of resonate with the antecedents to that choice. Very much of a piece with the vibe of the thing, and very much aligned with the mission statement of Dada. So I guess my problem is with Dadaism? Except, there is a robust credits sequence that suggests there might be something decodable in the symbolism of the piece. Yeah, given the idiosyncrasies of my life journey, I’ve got no hope of decoding any of that.

Ultimately, it is a tight mood piece of fascinating breadth and weirdness and I sure appreciate it on that level. To the extent there are more layers I can’t find, my loss I guess? In my favorite words of the piece:

"maybe I'm the bird and she's the asshole"

Wait. No. The other way around.

Mystery, Inc: I dunno, Scooby I guess? Maybe this is how he dreams? Weird dog.
Vibe: Deep dream
Polish: Smooth
Gimme the Wheel! : No thank you. This work is deeply dependent on authorial voice, and no one else should, ah, aloha with it.

Polish scale: Gleaming, Smooth, Textured, Rough, Distressed
Gimme the Wheel: What I would do next, if it were my project.

Adapted from a SpringThing24 Review

Played: 4/16/24
Playtime: 30min

A small first time limited parser effort, on a web platform that was new to me. So new, I can’t really say where gameplay glitches were platform- or author- driven. You wake up in a coffin and need to escape an underground tomb. As one does.

The geography is reasonably well communicated, aided by restricting itself to 4 instead of 8 cardinal directions. In addition to constraining its directional space, it also limits itself to a handful of verbs. I think this is a dynamite choice for first-time authors, but definitely challenges players accustomed to a fuller parser implementation. Its noun space is uneven, with many instances of ‘location contains an X’ ‘>X X’ ‘You see no X.’ Often, manipulating objects directly is rebuffed, and instead you must ‘>USE OTHER OBJECT’ to accomplish your task. It is possible to acclimatize to these implementations choices over time.

The puzzles themselves are reasonably straightforward with good textual cluing, including a maze section that I found to be far less than the usual annoying for these things. My playthrough was much more fighting the parser than the game’s architecture. So maybe platform based? For sure a platform problem was that it crashed midgame, and I had to wait fifteen minutes for a server reset or something to replay. (Playtime above includes first run, but not wait).

There was some implementation confusion, beyond missing noun responses. In one area, its initial description inadequately describes the objects within and then omits some exits. Other rooms had no exits listed and required directional trial-and-error. In one spot it seems like a programming parameter (MEASUREMENT) is referenced, clouding the description. Nothing dire or fatal, just more work needed. There are also typos: ‘carves’ instead of ‘carved’; ‘they figures’ instead of ‘the figures’; I stopped grabbing them after the crash.

All in all, I found it a respectable maiden effort. There was little narrative other than ‘escape!’, which, I'm in a tomb so, sure! Learning a platform requires mechanical engagement, the art can come once mastered. Look forward to seeing where the author goes from here! Maybe a little less anticipation for another encounter with this platform.

Mystery, Inc: Velma
Vibe: Escape (Multi-)Room
Polish: Distressed
Gimme the Wheel! : I think the focus on mechanical implementation is exactly right for this work. If it were mine, I would flesh out the noun space, attack typos, and fix room descriptions. Wring all the polish you can from this first effort. Engage playtesters (unless this WAS that effort! Sneaky author), and internalize all their feedback. From my own first effort I can say learning how to drive that last 5% of implementation is just as vital to IF mastery as the syntax-based first 95%.

Polish scale: Gleaming, Smooth, Textured, Rough, Distressed
Gimme the Wheel: What I would do next, if it were my project.

Adapted from a SpringThing24 Review

Played: 4/16/24
Playtime: 15min

A second ST24 Bitly entry! I’ve only recently encountered my first! Another Atari-block-graphics throwback game, this one with effectively no text at all. You navigate your farmer-icon through a series of mazes of inventive icons (I particularly liked the orchestra at the end), pleasant colors and background music.

BUT! While the mazes start trivial, they grow increasingly complicated, increasingly crowded with both more product of your labors and more detritus and remains of previous farm work. It requires more and more effort just to reach the same point. All the while, the Ox-cart of your lifespan slowly advances. Cycle after cycle it crawls forward, as burden slowly overruns your farm. The cart of your life eventually breaks free just before all that detritus becomes too dense to escape. Then, finally untethered, the tracks of your life are transformed to musical bars which you navigate. Only this time instead of a tortured climb to the top of the screen, you are almost floating horizontally through them, until they populate with musical notes. Have you, after a lifetime of toil been freed by art? Or has your lifetime itself been the art all along?

Y’know, typical maze stuff.

Mystery, Inc: Fred
Vibe: Mazy
Polish: Gleaming
Gimme the Wheel! : No notes. Mission accomplished.

Polish scale: Gleaming, Smooth, Textured, Rough, Distressed
Gimme the Wheel: What I would do next, if it were my project.

Adapted from a SpringThing24 Review

Played: 4/16/24
Playtime: 25min, lots of exploring the endings

I was introduced (as was, I believe, the world) to this amazing corner of IF during last year’s Thing. An Anthology of micro games, built around a common theme as an academic challenge, authored by young first-timers. The fact that this continues to exist in Year of Our Lord 2024 gives me hope for the future. My love for this effort has only deepened over time, and going forward its absence would cast a shadow over the Spring Thing Back Garden. Conversely, should we meet again next year, I fear I may have to ask it to marry me. My wife will be, understandably, nonplussed.

As last year, I will highlight for each entry a marketing blurb for the work, what was great about it, what could be learned from it, and what was notable about it, creatively.

Back to The City by David and his Mom
Blurb “How can you party when Horse needs your help?”
Great I loved the branching exploration possibilities, and the options to sort through each one.
Learning The power of creating and rewarding player choices
Notable A nice instance of multiple solutions to a problem!

Dark Dream by the Baily’s Sisters
Blurb “You were warned against late night snacks…”
Great A hilarious branching story of wildly unexpected consequences.
Learning The less sense something makes, often the funnier it is.
Notable No more coffee for me.

Halloween by Hailey and Milka
Blurb “Anything can happen on Halloween”
Great Range of good-to-bad endings was cool
Learning Collectible endings a great way to keep folks playing
Notable Liked the post-ending sting

IXI in the Forest by Leontine
Blurb “Some animals are not your friend”
Great Very different paths, and choices for IXI’s friend
Learning (Spoiler - click to show)does are meaner than you think
Notable Lack of kindness has consequences

Little Frogie by Natalie
Blurb “Dinner Plans Matter, Little Frog!”
Great Really liked the “A(n) X Moment” sting on the endings
Learning Longer paths are rewarding, but short paths can be really funny
Notable Rich choice space!

Survive or Die by Unicorn Sisters
Blurb “‘The Power of Friendship’ is more than a saying…”
Great Loved that the best ending was still unnerving
Learning Don’t split up. Ever.
Notable Loved the long arc of survival, lots of tension! (and deaths)

The Dark One by Mushroom
Blurb “Do you know the difference between good and bad advice?”
Great Very fun third-wall breaking between game and player
Learning There is power to short paragraphs
Notable Laughed out loud at ((Spoiler - click to show)you got killed by a serious level of distrust in combination with boredom).

Mystery, Inc: The Whole Gang!
Vibe: Raw Creativity
Polish: Textured
Gimme the Wheel! : I am on record as wishing for a wraparound game with Crypt-Keeper like host to these affairs, and refuse to give up on that dream. Maybe next year.

Polish scale: Gleaming, Smooth, Textured, Rough, Distressed
Gimme the Wheel: What I would do next, if it were my project.

Adapted from a SpringThing24 Review

Played: 4/16/24
Playtime: 1hr, 60/80 pts, art lover

This work is a teaser for an anticipated (by me) future TADS release. It shares background with another recent game by the same author in what is becoming a sprawling fantasy universe.

The work opens on a seemingly male protagonist finding himself in an unfamiliar home, in an unfamiliar female body. His only clue to his situation is to explore a large painting that brings memory fragments back to him. And, uh, maybe also explore his new body. Just a bit. Y’know, because of the novelty of it. For science.

As a teaser, areas of the house are blocked off with “Under Construction” disclaimers and force field barriers, confining the interaction of this piece to mainly picking apart the titular triple portrait with your eyes, and consuming the attendant memories.

I found it to be a deep implementation, but a bit uneven? There are three main figures in the portrait (lets call them Sabrina, Kelly and Jill), one of which seems to be the new you! It is a situation where MOST any noun you see can bear further scrutiny. I noted some frequent gaps to this in the transcript. The fact that one of the figures needs disambiguation with you also makes for occasionally clunky object resolutions. One strange artifact of this was that if you examined, say, Sabrina with an obvious adjective, you got a full list of her possible sub-focii as a disambiguation prompt. I actually kinda liked this, as it gave a soft framework for exploration. I was a bit crestfallen that Kelly and Jill, despite also having obvious adjectives, provided no such framework - it was much more a ‘page through the window buffer for nouns’ kind of exercise.

You are told there are 80 points worth of details to find, but a cheeky author-standin-Imp gives you permission to quit early, when you are ready. I kinda liked that touch, as it really drove home the ‘not a game, just a space to play in’ of the thing. I happily hung around until it got to be more work hunting nouns than new revelations, then cut and ran.

Like the previous effort, the star here is the intriguing background. Unlike the previous effort this seems to be a small piece of the final product? I am officially intrigued and looking forward to it in, according to the author, two short years! (I get it. TADS takes time, ya’ll.)

I would be remiss in a way that would have you challenging my review credentials if I did not observe two notable things about the work:

1) It reads like a translation with many typos, misspellings and awkward grammatical constructs. The grammar is kind of endearing, honestly, as it gives the piece a very specific flavor. But along with the spelling/typos they can be distracting.

2) This piece really likes bosoms, you’re going to get a good bit of them. Not pornographically, but… notably. Ok, I’m on thin ice here, because I can hear your judgement through the internet. “Reviewer, it’s an interactive work. It’s only going to come up if YOU BRING IT UP. So exactly how often did you >X BOSOMS, Reviewer, HOW OFTEN???” I hear you, and ok maybe, but this is a work that GIVES YOU POINTS FOR DOING SO. It’s not me perving! It’s the cold hand of economic incentives I tell you! Ok, you’ve backed me in a corner, I should probably quit while I’m behind, but you’ll see what I mean.

Mystery, Inc: Searching for clues? Velma
Vibe: Detail Obsession
Polish: Textured
Gimme the Wheel! : If this were my project, I would seek out a willing volunteer to help polish the translation a bit, ideally in a way that files off the distracting burrs but keeps the charming rhythm in tact. The volunteer for this thankless duty should be someone of great physical attractiveness, towering intellect, and unhealthy love for TADS. Name should probably start with a J. (TADS board inside joke! In 2024 we ALL* start with J!)

*rounding off

Polish scale: Gleaming, Smooth, Textured, Rough, Distressed
Gimme the Wheel: What I would do next, if it were my project.

Adapted from a SpringThing24 Review

Played: 4/15/24
Playtime: 1.75hrs, current ending

‘Product Misuse’ is a squirrelly legal tactic, used to limit financial liability when injuries result from products being used in ways not intended or sanctioned by manufacturers. It is squirrelly because the law specifically allows for liability when products are used in ways ‘foreseeable to the manufacturer’ even if unintended. You see the problem. What is a reasonable test for ‘foreseeable’? It is further complicated by a patchwork of US state laws, some of which put the burden on the manufacturer to show it is not foreseeable, while others put the burden on the plaintiff to prove it was not misuse!

This review engages a 3-chapter preview of a longer work (ooh! smashcut from seemingly disconnected review intro… that could be… FORESHADOWING!) , a medieval fantasy work set in a world of magic and man-mythical creature bonding and horny young(?) adults. It’s Dragonriders of Porn! If you think I went way out of my way to unfairly make that crack, which is almost certainly NOT the first time it’s ever been coined, you are a longtime reader that has a firm grasp on the cut of my jib. It is ChoiceScript, and adheres to the idiosyncrasies of that platform, not the least of which is a tiresome eye color/hair color/gender detail selection sequence. Notwithstanding that ChoiceScript fealty, I found the work itself to be both well and inadequately written.

I found the broad strokes world building pretty competent and engaging. The socio-political conflicts were vibrant and interesting. The details of magic, multi-versal worlds, and mythical creatures were familiar with enough unique spin to engage. Certainly, I felt invested in the proceedings, and ate up each new piece of the background in my quest to understand more. It was most accomplished, I thought, when describing physical environs, showing a nice eye for composition and detail and providing some really fantastical settings including alien worlds, natural wonders, and magic-informed architectures. The overall sense of place and setting was really top notch. Kudos for that! It was so well done, it formed a perfect background for… ah, not yet, I’ll get to it.

I did not resonate with the characters that inhabited this world so well. The NPCs were certainly pleasant enough: some roguish, some noble, some tortured and mysterious, none of them super vivid or escaping their archetype but yeah, certainly pleasant. The protagonist though is where the true break happened. Despite head feinting at player autonomy, the work had a very specific idea about the protagonists’ arc. It provided choices that let you steer, but the surrounding text attributed thoughts, emotions and subsequent actions that really only made sense if you were on one path: (Spoiler - click to show)breaking with your past and getting on board with your new warrior-mage life.

So here’s the thing, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. The setup is, you are an accomplished spy, in service of your king, on a very specific diplomatic mission. “Got it!” sez I, “I’m Fantasy James Bond.” Or in my case, JACE Bond, and yes, name chosen deliberately. Once that thought flashed in my head, it struck me as such a powerful premise I could not let go of it. No matter how hard the narrative pushed me to do so. (I also named my raptor-pet Claudia Schiffer. If I had fully baked my approach just a few screens sooner it would have been Moneypenny.)

Every subsequent action I took was me fighting the work to implement that compelling vision. Cartoonish (figuratively) cat-petting villain? Check! Love interests? More like (super explicit) Fantasy Bond Girls! Injustices around me? Excellent levers to pull against the villainous mastermind! A helpful familiar? More like a combination Q-gadget and Mish Moneypenny! Choice of wardrobe and drinks? Fantasy Tuxedos and Fantasy Martinis! Leave my employer for a new life of magic and wonder? More like deep undercover for His Majesty’s Secret Service! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I commit to the bit HARD.

I commit to it so hard, I had to start ignoring text, particularly the text that tried to dictate my thoughts and reactions, and instead head-canon'd my own. I only reluctantly accepted a magical animal bond, my first thought being “Why can’t I just bond with Claudia Schiffer?” (Which, not the first time in my life I’ve had that thought, amirite former adolescent cis boys??) I mentally translated “I would like a relationship with X” to “I seduce X for information or advantage.” I rejected any text that tried to pretend this new life held any attraction for me. Here’s the weird thing - THE WORK CONTINUED TO LET ME DO THIS! Time after time, choice after choice, I thought “surely my road runs out here…” No! Right up to the end, actions remained available that lent themselves to a Bond Movie re-interpretation, and all it required was liberally ignoring and rewriting some mental descriptions which the work had no right to in the first place!

Members of the jury, If I was “misusing” the work, WHY DID IT CONTINUE TO CONSISTENTLY FEED ME OPENINGS??? This leaves me in a weird place, review wise. Hands down, I had the most fun with this entry over anything in SpringThing24. I took PAGES of notes, several times more than any other work. I have written more about this work than any other (if this review looks long to you, know that I have re-edited myself multiple times trying to get this just right, leaving many moments of pure joy on the cutting room floor). I ACTIVELY CONSIDERED CREATING THREADS OF ALTERNATE CHOICE TEXT TO SUBMIT TO THE AUTHOR IN SERVICE OF THIS CONCEIT, LIKE SOME FPS FAN MOD/SKIN.

But. I cannot deny that the headiest joy came from my subversive reinterpretation, and the dizzying realization that the author’s choice architecture improbably continued to let me play. It seems obvious that I was not actually embracing the author’s full vision here. So we are back to ‘foreseeable use.’ And is it on me to prove I was not misusing the work, or on the author to prove this was not foreseeable when it played along SO, SO WELL? You gave me the interactivity, don’t be mad that I used it! This could take years of litigating JJMcC V INK AND INTRIGUE to decide. Thank you Judge, members of the jury, this concludes my opening statement.

Mystery, Inc: Animal Best Friends? Shaggy.
Vibe: under pending litigation
Polish: Gleaming
Gimme the Wheel! : So if it were MY work, I would excise all text that attributed or editorialized the protagonist’s thoughts, feelings and desires. Instead, I would render their choices as ACTIONS TAKEN, with event consequences, but leave the motivations and other soft stuff in the player’s head. This is really, really hard to do, but I’d do it by crumb. Having said that, the author is under no obligation to tell any story other than the one they want to, including a definitive protagonists’ arc. I’m just saying what I would do. If the author chooses not to, I call dibs on the Fantasy James Bond conceit.

Polish scale: Gleaming, Smooth, Textured, Rough, Distressed
Gimme the Wheel: What I would do next, if it were my project.

Adapted from a SpringThing24 Review

Played: 4/13/24
Playtime: 40min, 4 plays, 3/3 endings

There is something inspirational about the human mind when it commits to the bit beyond all reason, FOR no reason. The bigger the bit, the bigger the charge. That commitment itself becomes a thing of beauty, the more dear for its rarity. There’s a reason Andy Kaufmann and Sasha Baron Cohen are such towering comedic figures. Also divisive for sure, but towering. In fairness, those figures commit to something so socially transgressive that the parallels are not quite aligned with NC, which is a much sweeter, more amiable commitment. Still plenty bonkers though.

The setup is a bit tortured. You get to a place where VERBS don’t exist, so yeah, you ‘got some ‘splainin’ ta do Lucy.’ This is not a problem, by the way, the tortured setup is very much part of the gag. It can also be read as a sly elbow to the ribs of the IF player - what are parser fans if not WORD WIZARDS??? As a word wizard, you have fortunately created a series of objects that auto-activate when you noun. But they ALL activate, and in a specific order. Use them to save yourself from a DRAGON, because, why not?

Since I’ve already unfairly compared this work to two towering figures in comedy, let me compound it by invoking an analogous figure in IF. This piece could be easily imagined in the ouvre of Andrew Shultz - a small, playful wordplay puzzle of specific and twisted setup. At this point I kind of want to take it all back, because these endless comparisons imply it only lives in the shadow of others, and NC very much does not. It is its own weird, wonderful thing that exists independent of those worthies.

It takes a while to get on its vibe, and that disconnect may be the best part of the game - figuring out the new syntax rules to this world and bending them to your will. But ‘best’ is not the same as ‘only fun.’ The puzzles themselves have nuance in world rules that need managing. Between the arcane and restrictive-but-arbitrary rules (again, not a complaint. How arbitrary are the rules to Sudoku? Chess? And NC is so much more entertaining than both of them!) it is a fully engaging puzzle.

It also has the insight to know EXACTLY what size to be. Its short length and tight geography are textboook “not a jot bigger than needed” and drive home its virtues with a hammer. I should also mention that the prose style through all of this is bubbly and light, and every bit a partner in the success of the piece. In particular, when you (Spoiler - click to show)destroy nouns you catch a fleeting glimpse of verbs, whose descriptions just made my heart happy.

If it has a fault, it’s that the piece does not heal ideological fractures in America. Are you kidding me? It also can’t make the perfect souffle’ WHY WOULD YOU ASK IT TO?? It is a lovely, well-written, hilarious yet-tightly-tuned bonkers experiment, perfectly sized to deliver its punch. Those other things can wait.

Mystery, Inc: Fred
Vibe: Experimental
Polish: Smooth
Gimme the Wheel! : There is one state-glitch I noticed, I’d fix that if it were my project.

Polish scale: Gleaming, Smooth, Textured, Rough, Distressed
Gimme the Wheel: What I would do next, if it were my project.