Ratings and Reviews by Kinetic Mouse Car

In a nutshell: Slasher horror + Reality TV + Dating sim = Blood Island

This is the only ChoiceScript game in the 2022 IFComp. Blood Island begins with a great start. You are watching a video of a contestant from the previous season of a reality TV show being stabbed by someone wearing a Barbie mask. The video ends and Chloe, a manager, enters the room. That’s because you are a contestant for the upcoming season of Passion in Paradise!

Blood Island cleverly replicates the qualities we recognize in romance-oriented reality TV shows but adds a unique and gruesome twist while maintaining an underlying light-heartedness. Even if you do not typically like horror or romance, Blood Island may surprise you.

Gameplay
Scenes usually focus on character interaction. A chunk of gameplay choices is reserved for discussing the nature of horror and reality TV with the other characters. While I would have liked to have a few more action-oriented choices about doing instead of talking (both are valuable), I like how the gameplay introduces the player to key ideas about popular culture and then pitches the concept of a Final Girl as part of the discussion.

We learn that a Final Girl (or Final Guy/equivalent) is more than just someone who is the sole person standing when the smoke clears. It is also a series of designated characteristics packaged by social expectations, often with gender norms. The traditional idea of a Final Girl has qualities ranging from drinking habits (or lack of), expectations about purity, graciousness, beauty, all the way to having the right name. Interestingly enough, the player can pursue an inverted version of a Final Girl to challenge the tried-and-true mold.

There are stats although they are only shown at the end of the game which I usually do not see in ChoiceScript games. I guess the point to use it in a more reflective manner since (Spoiler - click to show) the game wraps up with the player being interviewed about their whole experience.

Some encounters have a measure for endurance. If a player has a high enough stat more choices are available. If it is lower, some of the choices will be greyed out and unavailable. For example, (Spoiler - click to show) when the player is swimming from the shark as fast as they can, their choices are about having enough endurance to out swim the shark. These choices look like:

Keep swimming.

Keep swimming!

Swim harder!

Swim like hell!

Swim, damn it!

Don't. Stop. Swimming!!!

If you are in good shape, most of these options will be available. Otherwise, the faster options are greyed out. The game seemed to take your previous gameplay choices into consideration. If you partake in less healthy habits the game will say, “You're not exactly out of shape, but you also haven't been making the healthiest choices since you joined the show,” whereas healthy choices result in, “You take care of yourself, and it's paying off.” I thought that if I played my cards right and increased my performance, I could out swim the shark. But no matter what I did the last choice of, “Don’t. Stop. Swimming!!!” would always be greyed out. The outcome of the scene remained the same.

If there is any underlying content, I am more than ready to go digging for it, but so far, the game sticks to the same course no matter what I do.

Story
I was hoping that the game would indulge the reality TV show premise for a little longer because it is not often that I see this envisioned in interactive fiction. Passion in Paradise tasks contestants to entering a relationship by the end of each week to avoid from being disqualified. Now that I think of it, if this were a real TV show it would probably have more than eight contestants total, but this size works perfectly for this game. Contestants also receive date cards that details a fun excursion they can go on with another contestant. The gameplay never goes past round 1, nor does it reach the point where a contestant is eliminated- (Spoiler - click to show) that is, eliminated according to the show’s rules. By other means? Watch out. The stranger with the Barbie mask makes several appearances in this game.

Spoilers! (Spoiler - click to show) I thought it was sad at how the person you choose for the one and only date on the show dies but if you think about it most of the contestants (and even some non-contestants) get slaughtered in the last scene as well. Takes the idea of Final Girl literally. After all, this is a moment for slasher horror. In the epilogue the player receives a phone call about returning to Passion in Paradise. Considering how many contestants died, I am surprised that the show still manages to continue for another season.

Characters
There are seven romanceable contestants, and their introduction to the show is spot-on in creating a reality TV opening montage effect. What frustrated me about these intriguing contestants was how interchangeable the dialog and character interactions were after the opening chapters. They respond the exact same way for everything without any consideration of their unique characteristics that are portrayed when they are introduced at the start of the game reality TV-style. There are certain situations where I figured that Nick would have a different response than, let’s say, Mona, but the writing is almost always the same aside from their names. I am being a bit unreasonable since it is a lot of work to write content for seven separate contestants but please understand that the writing is well done, and it will take time before you exhaust the content.

Now, I know the game is playing around with stereotypical concepts, particularly with the trope of an ideal character that the audience adores, but it also seems like all the NPCs are equally enamored by the player, which feels flimsy. The relationship between a Final Girl/Guy PC and NPCs almost skims the Mary Sue trope which is partly the point in Blood Island. Afterall, you are the package deal. I feel that just because a contestant wins the hearts and minds of viewers does not mean their fellow contestants automatically feel the same way. The NPCs are also competitive contestants who, unlike a TV audience, directly interact with the protagonist and have a chance to form a deeper opinion of them.

Final Girl or not, even if you try stir up drama, and there are opportunities to do so, they forget about it a scene later. It makes me wonder, (Spoiler - click to show) is it even possible to get them to reject me when I choose them for the date card activity?

Also, just for the heck of it, I decided to try an alternate path. The game almost hints at a (Spoiler - click to show) possible Chloe, although I cannot say that I like her character, route. Is it possible to go through with it?

Final (get it? Fine.) thoughts
I have played two of the author's games and I noticed a skill for taking a potentially seedy premises and making it work. Horror game in a retirement home? Slasher horror on a reality TV show? The author pulls it off. (By the way, consider playing The Waiting Room from last year’s competition. Horror with a human touch.)

I was similarly impressed with Blood Island. This game offers a wild time. Your first playthrough is exhilarating and will likely leave you reaching for seconds. After some experimentation the allure fades, but there is enough content to sustain the player for a while. Its discussion of the Final Girl concept is especially memorable.

Question: If someone (Spoiler - click to show) stabs you with a cake knife in your stomach all the way to the hilt, would you survive that? It is surprising at how the human body can withstand major injuries but that sounds like it would test the limits. Then again, perfect for a slasher story.

At Esther's cafe your adorable host / Served cheese to the mice when they wanted toast! / That won't bother Harold's robust appetite, / But Janie insists that the order's not right. Sounds like something out of a children’s book!

Esther's is not a rhyming game, but as you can see, its description caught my eye. Janie and Harold are mice who like to visit their favorite joint for brunch every week. The café is run by a young girl named Esther. Unfortunately, there is a bit of a linguistic barrier. Esther does not understand the mice and ends up serving them cheese instead of their intended order.

There is no singular PC. The game's tone is in third person and the choices you make bounce between Janie and Harold. Gameplay is super easy and versatile for all ages partly because you will not get stuck, and partly because it gives the player space to experiment with choices. You figure out how to get Esther to serve you the right food through pointing or hand gestures. No matter what approach you take the game will guide you to the correct direction at the end.

The characters are endearing, especially the mice. Originally, I was picturing a fantasy world where animals hustle and bustle like humans to cafés and other establishments, but the game opts for a more basic approach. Esther’s café turns out to simply be a little girl indulging some mice in playing a variation of a tea party. Or maybe it is the mice indulging the girl? Either way, this is a sweet premise that the game pulls off. It mixes relatability with imagination. My favorite line is, “Tapioca. I like that word! Tappy-OH-kuh…”

Visually, the game reminds me of a picture book. The text area is a white square set against a purple screen. The letters are black with colour coded text for character names. Avocado icons decorate the player’s list of choices. I also really love how the authors included (Spoiler - click to show) a behind-the-scenes section at the end that shows drafts for the art as well as a node map for the Twine game.

Esther’s is a sweet Twine story that only takes about five minutes to play. While aimed at younger audiences, and I do recommend it for younger audiences, players can still appreciate the thoughtfulness put into the game’s creation.

In the far future, climate change has done a number on planet Earth. Glaciers are melting. After a particularly large melt scientists found a strange strain of fungi with incredible resilience to extreme conditions and sentient properties. After tinkering around with genetic engineering, the military winds up with humanoid plant-based beings called Hyphaens.

Upside: They make great soldiers. Downside: Without social interaction they cannibalize each other.

Gameplay
The game starts with heavy exposition before launching into gameplay. The protagonist is desperate to secure a job after being dishonorably discharged from the military and manages to find employment as a companion for a Hyphaen. Here, character customization is cleverly woven into an application form that allows you to edit the protagonist's gender, height, and other characteristics. The gameplay then consists of preparing and traveling to meet your assigned Hyphaen.

One thing I disliked was how the protagonist makes informed decisions while the player is left in the dark. The main example is if you decide to (Spoiler - click to show) explore the mall. The protagonist automatically starts buying all this stuff that is later used to create a makeshift weapon for self-defense. A brief mention of the protagonist’s intent for buying would suffice. Something like, “hm, these substances may be useful in repelling Hyphaens,” would have been helpful for context.

Story
The turning point is a gnarly scene where (Spoiler - click to show) the protagonist is being devoured by their assigned Hyphaen up arriving at the apartment. There are three endings, two bad, one good. So far, I reached (Spoiler - click to show) BAD END 1 and (Spoiler - click to show) GOOD END but not the third outcome. The good ending involves (Spoiler - click to show) fighting off the Hyphaen. It leaves the player on a bit of a cliff hanger since it just ends with the protagonist leaving, although there is the implication that the protagonist is now on the run from killing military property. I do appreciate how the author provides some additional exposition on what happened before ending it.

I spent a chunk of time trying to find a way to (Spoiler - click to show) avoid being attacked by the Hyphaen but I do not think that is possible. There are some mixed messages that I tried to decipher. The Hyphaen’s dialog after you successfully defend yourself suggests that the Hyphaen merely wanted a connection. That said, there is no kidding the fact that such a connection would result in the death of the protagonist. It was only after re-reading the concluding text about "separation-induced aggravation" that I started to hammer together an explanation.

I’m just going to take a whack at it. (Spoiler - click to show) There is some hive mind plant entity in the arctic that is connected to the Hyphaens that function as a "fungal network." This entity(s?) is referred to as Mother and Father, or at least some translation of it. An expedition went down there but was ordered to return when things started getting weird. We learn about this from one of the protagonist’s memories, but it is cut short.

Naturally, Hyphaens' central impulse is to communicate with themselves and a parent hive. But when humans decide to cultivate (or grow?) them in a civilization in a sad dome on a tundra, that living connection is lost. They still have social interactions with nearby Hyphaen and humans, but it is not the same as a hive. Without this link their mental state falls apart and aggression occurs when they socialize. Hence why the Hyphaen attacks the protagonist. Human companion programs were meant to stave off aggressive tendencies through regular mild interactions, but in this case, it was not adequate. That scene was intense.

Visuals
The game has a stylized appearance and colour scheme that adds a nice ambience. Black text box with wide margins and rounded corners that casts a shadow against a green background. This is paired with thick white text and yellow links. Also, there are these black rectangular boxes that briefly appear at the top of the screen throughout the gameplay that say things like (Spoiler - click to show) “TERMINAL: Dome Termed,” almost as if they were achievements before vanishing (see note).

Cover art is weird, terrifying, but cool. I assume that’s a Hyphaen?

Final thoughts
At first, I was not sure if I liked this game. I felt that the game was too short (though by no means incomplete) and that it left me with too many questions. But during my first playthrough I glossed over the large amount of exposition and backstory that the gameplay provides. When I went back to absorb the details, the story became more potent.

While I would have gladly played Defrosted if it were longer, I do think it is reasonable in length to keep players from being burned out. Its length is best described as compact. A lot of thoughtfulness has been put into this game and I am curious to see the author’s future work.

NOTE: Just as I was finishing this review my usual unobservant self suddenly made a big discovery. There is an arrow button at the top left corner of the screen (I know, it’s obvious) that opens to a menu with some useful features.

It has a dictionary of terms that are updated throughout the gameplay, and stat levels for the player’s strength and pheromone levels. The popup boxes that I mentioned earlier are meant to inform you that new terms have been added to the dictionary. I cannot believe I missed that.

The Haunted Carnival is a two-word custom parser game. While strolling through the woods you find yourself following a strange path that leads to an abandoned amusement park. Naturally, you throw caution to the wind and choose to explore. As you set foot into the park it comes alive with lights and sounds but no people. But then a gate closes and locks behind you. Leaving is going to be a little harder.

This is not a horror game. Even though the player is technically trapped, there is no sense of frantic escape. Being all alone in an abandoned amusement park may be the stuff of nightmares in some games, but in The Haunted Carnival this is an exciting prospect. No lines, no tickets, (almost) no rules. Take cotton candy straight off the cart. Its subject matter and gameplay are suitable for all ages. The map is moderate in size and the goal is to find five stars hidden around the park to unlock the gate.

What I like about this game is that while it chooses to stick with a generic amusement park setting, the puzzles are novel and creative. On the surface, the game goes for a classic approach with sights that people may recognize from their own experiences or from other depictions of amusement park and carnivals. Things like cotton candy stands, ring toss booth, animatronic (not the scary kind) boat rides, a Ferris wheel, and more. But the puzzles for these features are pretty fun. Reasonably well-clued but also gets the player to think creatively.

My favorite part were the ghost NPCs. Most appear in the middle of the game to help you or add atmosphere, such as the audience that appears at the stage. Interactions with ghosts are subtle. You do not initiate dialog. Instead, they emerge and respond accordingly as you make progress. For instance, (Spoiler - click to show) if you fix the ladder for the trapeze platform and then climb it, a ghost materializes on the trapeze. She then swings to you to grab your hands so you can reach the other platform. The ghosts seem to represent the carnival's past glory but none of it comes off as sad or depressing.

There are some rough edges. Notably, I encountered a few bugs, particularly with the Ferris wheel. For example, if you ride to top and then attempt to go north the game freezes and you must restart. In one playthrough in a different area of the park there was one case where the game decided to no longer respond to my attempts to type, also forcing me to restart. Do not let this scare you away since bugs are scarce, but they do detract from the game’s overall quality.

Other issues are superficial, particularly when room locations do not adapt to player choices. You can take one bag off cotton candy from the cart and eat it. Presumably that was the last bag because if you try to take more the game says, “There is no CANDY nearby.” And yet the room description still reads, "At the side of the path, you see a colorful cart with bags of cotton." This error only occurs if you eat the candy in any location other than by the cotton candy stand. This is ultimately cosmetic, but it stood out, nonetheless.

In conclusion, I quite enjoyed The Haunted Carnival. It opts to go light on story and instead focus on gameplay and atmosphere, both of which were cleverly done. It is not flawless, but certainty has moments where it shines. A quality piece that I would recommend.

(Final note: I use the word “carnival” and “amusement park” interchangeably, although they are slightly different. My understanding is that carnivals are more like smaller, temporary amusements parks, so take these terms with a grain of salt.)

The protagonist of Something Blue is Helen, a young woman recently married to an affluent man named Henry Compton. Great match. The story is told through letters that she writes to her sister Anne. But each letter gradually reveals a sinister truth.

Gameplay
Gameplay is simple enough. For each of Helen’s letters you choose several passages by clicking on a link that cycles through your options. There are three options per passage, and options seem to feature three different tones:

(1) Helen assumes the best of her husband and never speculates about suspicious things.
(2) Helen admits that she is not enjoying being married and that her husband gets super touchy about certain topics but otherwise plays ball. For a while, at least.
(3) Helen is sure that that something weird and explainable is going on. This last one sits on a fence between working yourself into imaging things and knowing Exactly What You Saw.

I was half expecting, half hoping that the player could determine Helen’s actions based on your choices while writing her letter. If Helen writes to Anne that she will (Spoiler - click to show) explore the attic when Henry leaves, she will explore the attic. If she opts to stay out of it, she stays out of it. Instead, it she goes to the (Spoiler - click to show) attic every time, and honestly, I cannot fault her for that. Ultimately my issue is that gameplay choices seem superficial when finding the possible outcomes for the story. I would mix and match choices to see how it shaped the gameplay, but it ended up being rather linear.

Story
Helen is told she get go wherever she wants in the house except (Spoiler - click to show) the attic. I will just rip off the band-aid. (Spoiler - click to show) Helen sneaks into the attic and discovers the dead bodies of Henry’s previous six wives. Her final letter to Anne shares her findings. The game ends with Helen’s husband sending a letter to Anne with bad news. He explains that Helen’s previous letter surely must have been the result of a high fever that gave her delusions that her husband had murdered his former wives. Haha. No, the player is not going to buy into that too easily.

I found the ending to be ambiguous. We know he is trying to cover his tracks. We do not know if Helen tried to run away or asked him about what she saw. I am assuming that at some point he figured out that she explored the attic. The implications of this are disturbing but we are left with a bit of a cliffhanger. Is she dead? He offers to allow Anne and her parents to come visit, so I take it that she is still alive. But if gameplay has any merit, she will probably end up like the other wives. Implied horror can work tremendously, but Something Blue ends a bit too soon for the story to click.

Henry’s writing about a fever feels like the default ending, but there is an alternate ending that ends in a similar fashion. If you choose gameplay prompts that seem a little, for the lack of a better word, “hysterical,” Henry writes that she was sent to a sanatorium instead. Historically, the notion of hysteria been used as a way of diagnosing women, which opens a can of worms about sexism and other issues. But it appears that Henry is going to use that to his advantage. Like the other ending, things are a little ambiguous about the outcome. Is he really sending her to a sanatorium or is he just going to kill her in the attic?

In case you are curious, the game’s title is based off a wedding rhyme that says, "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue." Each part of the rhyme details something the bride should wear while tying the knot to ensure certain blessings throughout the marriage. The "something blue" is meant to defend against evil superstition but (Spoiler - click to show) having a husband who chops up his wives also counts. If Helen followed the rhyme at all, it clearly failed. Especially with "something blue." The sad thing too is that her first letter in the game suggests that she married at her parents’ insistence. She probably had little say on not just who she married, but also on how she was married.

Visuals
The visuals only tinker with basic effects but they are effectively polished. The text is on a yellowish-white square against a dark blue background with matching links. It draws attention to the colour in the game’s title. I thought it was a nice look.

Final thoughts
This was one of the first games I played for this year’s EctoComp, and I fun reading the story. Definitely a horror game. It could have been more fleshed-out, but it is still a quality piece suitable for a few rounds. If you like interactive fiction with gameplay that exclusively takes place through letters that you modify, consider Something Blue.

This game looks at what could happen when you fall asleep and dream.

Overview
I want to keep myself from going on a tangent of Lost Coastlines vs. Skybreak! since this review is ultimately about Lost Coastlines, but that is probably inevitable. Both are excellent games. They are also the only ADRIFT games that I have committed to playing because I always run into lag issues (not the authors’ fault) that make me hesitant about long, epic pieces. These two are definitely worth it.

I must confess, Skybreak! wins me over a little more, probably because I am into science fiction. Sentient-computer-adventure-friend/narrator is tough to beat. But Lost Coastlines has a lot of great features not found in Skybreak! Ultimately, they both bring something new to the table while retaining similar structural framework. If you have previously played Skybreak! which came out a few years ago, you most likely will say to yourself, “this seems familiar” when you launch into Lost Coastlines. Same goes for the other way around. William Dooling has a distinct and creative style.

Gameplay
Lost Coastlines begins with character creation. You choose factors like where you fall asleep or what type of person you are in the day which then determines your skillsets and some of the gameplay content. I thought this was clever because it makes the gameplay more personalized to what interests you the most. You then decide who you want to be in the game, such as a Scientist or Mystic, which also sculpts your adventures. Lots of possibilities. I highly encourage you to use the author’s nifty guidebook for this portion.

A key mechanic in the game is with stat related encounters where the game lists your options along with the skill used in each choice and the probability of success. It is also colour-coded! I thought that this was a consistent structure. It is easy to keep track of your stats for these encounters and I did not experience burnout after several hours of this. One of my favorite features was how you can wear individual clothing items to improve your stats.

The part that took me the longest to manage is the currency system. Believe it or not, gold and coins are not the standard. Emotions take center focus instead.

Pleasance:15| Sadness:5| Madness:42| Fury:36| Worry:218|

Emotions are generated through different encounters and can be used to make transactions or initiate opportunities. Some are easier to accumulate, for better or for worse, but it appears that they all have an application somewhere. The problem is that it can feel as if you always have the least amount of the emotion you need. There was a bit of a learning curve for me.

A complaint that some people had with Skybreak! is how the player can decide on everything except their destinations. Travel was random. Spaceships never used compass directions. But Lost Coastlines does. When you want to leave, you get back into your boat, pick a direction, and set sail. You have much more wiggle room with navigation. Many locations only allow you to perform one action, but it is easier to return to them because you can correlate their location relative to other areas. The in-game map is especially helpful. While travel is not always smooth sailing, the randomness is reduced. I think players will like that.

Story + Characters
As I already mention, gameplay content is molded by character customization choices. There is not an overarching story in the game’s world, just the player’s role-oriented objectives. You can find bite-sized story content in places you visit. Populated areas have legends or rumors that span across multiple regions. But the dreamlike quality of the gameplay means that there will be something to engage you.

Despite what the (lovely) cover art shows, I am pretty sure that the player is not puttering around in a little rowboat. Your vessel has a crew, a relatively anonymous and replaceable one that does everything automatically. You never truly interact with them, although I would not be surprised if you can recruit individual NPCs. If so, I never reached that point. You still have the chance to mingle with NPCs at destinations, particularly harbors, taverns, and markets.

My first playthrough
I will just stick this “dream” under one spoiler tag in case you want to know about my experience.
(Spoiler - click to show)
Character customization: (I decided to stick to a science-oriented theme for these choices, as was the case when I first played Skybreak!)

1. I fell asleep in class
2. Brought an old telescope with me
3. Intellectual
4. Scientist

Let's see... Highlights:
-I saw Natalie Portman in a bar (she was the bartender).
-Spent three years with a talking cat to learn about the magical arts.
-Found the Pendant of Fire (is that a big deal?)
-Crew supposedly came this close to eating me.
-Dueled it out with Schenckloth. Did not go as planned.

Challenge: At one point, my crew and I were stuck on a 3x3 grid of rooms consisting of eight jungle locations and one beach location, and I had no idea of how to leave. I tried "SET SAIL," "LEAVE," "LEAVE BEACH," but nothing. I spent the better part of an hour puttering around, studying insects, plundering ruins, and hunting for meat, but there was never any opportunity of leaving.

I wondered if I should have left it at that, but there was another issue. When you read the in-game help section it says, "As an open world game, there is no final goal or overarching story: do whatever you want! You can end the game at any time by typing WAKE UP." But if I try to do this, I get this response:

➢ WAKE UP
You are not asleep!

What does it mean I am not asleep? It is one big dream! I should be snoozing away here. Waking up was supposed to end the game and give me a final score, but I suppose not. Sadly, I had to end my first playthrough there. I wanted to keep playing but you can only search the same area for insects for so many times. That did not, however, stop me from replaying the game to sample the different character creation options. While I did not devote as much time to my other playthroughs of this game, I had fun experimenting with the gameplay. There is a lot to do.

Final thoughts
Lost Coastlines is a beautifully descriptive game. Calming with an edge of danger. The best part of this game is the open world format. Go. Explore. I love it when games capture that notion. You have your boat and go wherever you want, assuming you can weather the challenges.

Ideally, play this game when you have several hours of time available for a leisurely playthrough. Don’t try to cram it into your lunch break because it takes a while to accumulate items and stats that allow you to pursue some of the more daring opportunities. Then it becomes really fun.

Before you go: Maybe I am wrong, but isn't (Spoiler - click to show) Schenckloth, the Lord of Nightmares in Skybreak! as well?

This is an EctoComp game. Had I not known that when I first saw the swirly bleeding-heart cover art, I would have guessed that I was about to play a twisted Valentine's Day game. Actually, it could probably double for Halloween (why am I still talking about Halloween?) and Valentine's Day if you are in the mood for horror. Potentially versatile option.

Anyway, MARTYR ME is a candid game about a murderer- a serial killer- dicing up a victim. You play as the murderer, but the narration is second person as told from the victim's perspective (Technically, the dialog is made up in the PC's mind, but they pretend that they are being addressed directly). I am not even sure if the victim is still alive. The start of the game sort of gives the impression that they are already dead, and that the murderer is merely playing around with a corpse.

The pivotal choice you make at the start of the game is whether you want to take your time or jump right in. The goal is to perform a ritual to martyr the victim by carrying out specific “steps” while butchering them. It is almost humorous at how offended the murder victim is if you decide to rush through this process. How dare you cleave me like that? Make it pretty. I know this sounds morbid- I mean, a game about gory murder embodies that concept perfectly- but the author presents it with a concise concept and consistent tone.

As a Twine game the visuals only dabble with a colour scheme, but it looks nice. It uses a pink not-quite-red background that later changes to shades of red and fuchsia. This is paired with white text, and pink/dark red links. The player is not sure if the colour makes them think of blood or candy. Or punch.

Reading my review will probably make you think, “!?!?!?? What is this game?” Well, it pulls the subject matter off better than you would expect. Yes, it is gory, and you may or may not like it. But it is also a horror game and a submission to EctoComp, of which it fairs quite nicely.

(It sometimes has faint vibes from PaperBlurt's The Urge, but much shorter and with a different storyline and gameplay POV. Don’t let that scare you away.)

You are a zombie reviewing a meal.

I was not anticipating an undead connoisseur penning comprehensive reviews after sampling a smorgasbord of brains. Based on the words “Yelp Reviewer” I figured that the game would put the player in the role of someone who wants to write an earnest review about their dining experience, the catch being that they are a zombie eating brains. But above all I was expecting the game to take things a little more seriously.

Instead, the game opts for an ALL-CAPS approach to everything. Zombies are not going to be the most eloquent of review writers (although the PC is obviously tech-savvy enough to use a smartphone and an app) but having, "SO ME STUMBLE AROUND LOOKING FOR BRAINS" the entire time felt like it was trying to get the player to laugh.

Nor does it really “review” brains. It barely feels like a Yelp review. My guess is that the author wanted to include some backstory, which is great, but ends up cramming it into the zombie’s review to the point where it becomes a ramble of how the man was slaughtered. Critiquing the quality of the brains occurs in the last choice in the gameplay. It reminds me of Yelp reviews of restaurants that focus on how they found the place rather than their experience inside of it.

I must say, the title of the game is pretty cool. Yelp reviewing + Zombie is a creative idea that drew me in. The final product, however, did not sell. Geoffrey Golden is a talented author. If you have played Use Your Psychic Powers at Applebee’s, you can see his knack for humor and novel ideas, and I encourage you to do so. But You Are a Zombie Yelp Reviewer is a clever concept that needs more development for it to be palatable.