Help! My Vacuum Cleaner Is Broken

This is an entry in a SpeedIF competition, meaning that it had to be written in two hours or less, and under some rather strange rules (among other things, the story had to involve a mail-order course, with bonus points for including the colour scarlet or a cardboard cut-out of Graham Nelson). Thus, don't expect a complex plot or realistic characters. Really, the game's only strong point is the humour, which is sure to at least get a few smiles out of you. As an example, here's my favourite passage, taken from the opening description:

This is a very long road. Houses are on either side. They're standing still, while the road runs north and south.

If you like this example, I do believe you will enjoy this short game. But besides the humour, it has has very little to recommend it (hence the 2-star rating).

Don't get this game for puzzles. Nor for deep character interaction. Nor if you want to spend the next week with just one long and involving IF. Grab this game for the fun (fun as "laughing out loud"), and for having houses that follow you!
Ok, this is a speedIF, thus: it's quick, very quick. Takes some 5 minutes to reach the end. So, no waste of time. You have to go showing your vacuum cleaner to a TV show. But: it's broken! Along the road to the show, you'll have to find - possibly - a solution.
The writing is spectacular: clever and funny (i'd dare say: funnily clever! or not?). You know, it's from the guy that made Lost Pig, and he is a real assurance for fun.