The Fat Lardo and the Rubber Ducky

In this game, you are the fat lardo. In one room, there is a duck.

Most standard verbs are implemented, and result in insulting you.

Why three stars? The game is polished. It is very descriptive in its insults. And it succeeds in producing an emotional reaction.

But the interactivity is bkring, and I would not play it again. I do not recommend this. Includes frequent strong profanity.

The Fat Lardo and the Rubber Ducky is a very short, seemingly aimless parser-based game from 2003. Its flippant subject matter caught my attention, so I decided to give it a try.

You are apparently an obese, simple-minded man confined in a small room with a rubber duck. You are invited to pick up the duck and use various verbs on it to see what happens, but in the process the narrator will insult you.

I must admit that the extremely abusive, foul-mouthed narrator voice caught me off guard at first, making me laugh out loud. It's not very often you get a narrator like this in Interactive Fiction, so the game is pretty unique in this respect. I even thought whether (Spoiler - click to show)we could be dealing with a completely unreliable narrator here. He does seem to be quite petty and intent on disliking you, so he probably wouldn't be above embellishing some important details about how ugly, fat, clumsy, dumb and gassy your character actually is. But the truth of the matter is probably irrelevant, since almost nothing happens in this game. There are no big character moments, no grand revelation, no heartbreaks to mend (except maybe the player's own, if they listen to the insults for long enough).

The implementation is better than you'd expect, but still not very thorough. There are only two things to interact with: the player and the duck. Many standard verbs give generic messages. A lot of the verbs hinted by the prose do nothing. Especially by modern parser-based game standards, it comes across somewhat inconsistent and slight, and it doesn't help that the humor is pretty one-note as well.

This game might be fun for 10 - 15 minutes if you're someone with a dark sense of humor (like me) and also enough of a pedantic completionist that you'd try scrounging the limits of a joke game to find all the verbs that work (also like me). But for anyone else, might be the best to steer clear...

Oh, and I did find an ending (of sort) to the game: (Spoiler - click to show)by typing "xyzzy".

Honestly, from the title, I had no idea what to expect. Possibly some stupid adventure, but no, what I found was a lot worse. I don't want to rush this game, or even deter you from playing it! I cannot deny that this game was quite funny, and even though isn't as good as some other titles, works well.

The 'story' involves you, who the game describes as "a fat lardo," finds a rubber ducky. THATS ABOUT IT. You can pick it up, squeeze it, drop it, nibble it, jump (a refreshing breath since I've been longing to get a response from that for years). You can't go anywhere, do anything "as far as I know" or really have any fun with this.

If you are in the mood for some language and lols,play it for a few minutes, but this game is no Emily Short.