Have you played this game?You can rate this game, record that you've played it, or put it on your wish list after you log in.
Playlists and Wishlists
RSS FeedsNew member reviews
Updates to downloadable files
All updates to this page
Nominee, Best Individual PC - 2005 XYZZY Awards
A brief, silly game in which you, as Conan, kill everything. This is one of those games that takes a simple idea and takes it to its logical extreme. Stupid, but in a good way.
-- Carl Muckenhoupt
In this game you play the legendary Cimmerian barbarian, Conan, and your objective is simple. Kill everything. No, not every living thing. Everything. The walls of the room only escape Conan's mighty wrath because they "are already dead. Conan suspects that he killed them in an earlier episode."
Although a one room game, and as mentioned before, very short, some interesting puzzles exist here. None will stymie a veteran IF player for long, but they puzzles are fair and logical, if progressing to a logical extreme. There's not much of a plot or story to speak off, but given the source of the game, expecting one seems silly.
-- William McDuff
See the full review
|Average Rating: |
Number of Reviews: 9
Write a review
Most Helpful Member Reviews
This is one of those games, like YOU HAVE TO BURN THE ROPE or Pick up the Phone Booth and Die, where the title could double as the walkthrough. Killing everything does entail a few very minor puzzles, but essentially you just do what it says on the box. Thoroughness is rewarded.
So it's not very ambitious. Is it fun? Yeah, more or less, but I found that the implementation wasn't quite smooth enough and I actually got hung up on stupid things midway through the game. You have to kill things in a specific order, and if you try to deviate from this order, the game won't let you go forward; since I had completely the wrong idea about how to solve one of the puzzles, this left me stuck for longer than the game really deserved.
Then, too, the humor wasn't quite to my taste. It's supposed to be broad, I realize, but the one-note joke had worn out well before the game ended.
A mildly entertaining 15-minute play with a single-premise joke - kill everything. It wasn't laugh-out-loud funny, but I enjoyed it enough for it to be memorable.
A game best described as one of those roadside games where you have to jump wooden pegs until you have one left. While it's possible to die early, it is also possible to get stuck in the middle. The game prevents you from making kills that may prevent later kills, which means you really can't get dead-ended. It also means you may be stalled without a clue on how to proceed.
Some of the puzzles infer a solution I couldn't apply, (Spoiler - click to show)as I kept trying to reach the torch to burn the wood golem; and others it seems where not enough clues are given in the descriptions to suggest an action, (Spoiler - click to show)like the table is killed not as you would think. Most of the solutions were obvious, but those last few unfortunately required a walkthrough. I would have liked a hint system.
Worth a short puzzle-solving playthrough.
Related reviews: ian haberkorn, one-room, short
Play it if: you've got a few minutes to kill and a few brain cells to waste.
Don't play it if: you want a bit more ambition in your IF than - well, almost nothing - and if you are easily enraged by the dumbing-down of the character of Conan as portrayed in external works.
A seemingly one-note joke of a game that actually does have a few puzzles, I'm not sure whether to praise Conan Kill Everything for keeping its admittedly simple premise brief, or wonder if a longer pastiche of the (now ubiquitous) dim-witted caricature of the character is in order.
But I won't be too picky. This is a fairly funny game, and the point of the joke is made. There are even some minor puzzles and a number of nice touches like Conan's reactions to kissing or cutting things. In sum, it's an OK time-waster.
See All 11 Member Reviews
If you enjoyed Conan Kill Everything...
Related GamesPeople who like Conan Kill Everything also gave high ratings to these games:
|Elsegar I: Arrival, by Silas Bryson|
Average member rating: (9 ratings)
After experimenting on a strange object, you are transported to a strange new world. Now you must find a way to get back home. Talk to the locals, fight a monster using a crowbar, listen to the radio, find secrets, and more!
Zombies, by ANONYMOUS
Average member rating: (4 ratings)
The Chasing, by Anssi Räisänen
Average member rating: (9 ratings)
Recommended ListsConan Kill Everything appears in the following Recommended Lists:
Games that made me smile by MathBrush
I wanted to do a list of comedy games, but I think people rarely think "I want to play a comedy game"; to me, the phrase brings up some kind of jokey, goofy game, like many of the poorly made Twine games that people make now. Instead,...
PollsThe following polls include votes for Conan Kill Everything:
Best Short Games (5-60 minutes) by Sasha Davidovna
I'm pretty new to IF and am having a lot of fun, but in between a toddler and a job and other real life stuff, I'm having trouble finding time to finish many of the longer games I want to play. Can you please recommend me some fun and/or...
Solved without Hints by joncgoodwin
I'm very interested in hearing truthful accounts of at least somewhat difficult games (or games that don't solve themselves at least) solved completely without recourse to hints, walkthroughs, etc.
This is version 4 of this page, edited by Zape on 11 April 2021 at 4:38pm. - View Update History - Edit This Page - Add a News Item