Stooping to Diplomacy

I got a letter the other day:

Dear valued clan leader,

With only a few years left in this century, the facts of the Y2K situation remain unclear. Despite their best efforts and my constant encouragement, my augurs have been unable to ascertain with any confidence whether the apocalypse will or will not begin on the night of December 31st, 1999. What is clear is that the worldwide brotherhood of vampires must begin preparing for the worst.

To ensure our survival and prosperity, the vampire community must reach out and form alliances with the other great powers of the world. Old rivalries must be forgotten; new friendships must be forged. I know of no one better to forge these friendships than my faithful clan leaders. It is because of you that humans fear the night, and it is because of you that we can stride confidently into the dawn (figuratively speaking) of the new millennium.

Based on your unique skills and experience, I have designated you, Lephrea , to negotiate an alliance between your clan and the animals of the Kansas City Zoo . A treaty with the aforementioned group/creature/entity will be an invaluable asset in the coming potential war with humanity. Your cooperation is deeply appreciated; your failure is expressly forbidden.

Your Immortal Mistress,
Atë, Queen of All Vampires