Interstellar Pizza Brigade

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to travel through space and time to deliver a pizza. Failure is not an option. Hilarity, however, is.

This was written for the 18th Anniversary Speed-IF. The parameters were:"fly a ship and land it in multiple places (planets, asteroids, stations), giant space monster, shape-changing alien, alien infiltrator, no legitimate crew, wormhole, solar flares as a danger, zero gravity, a mysteriously brooding character, weird space combat, getting drunk/high in space, male sexy green alien, instant cloning machine, ray gun, space pizza delivery, and Christopher Walken."