Ratings and Reviews by Blake

I play interactive fiction intermittently, as life often has me too busy to dig into larger games. I decided that I was tired of missing out and wanted to really dig into the classics of the commercial era, the ones I'd heard so much about but never experienced firsthand. What order should I play then in? How about by difficulty? Of the two introductory games, Wishbringer sounded more appealing than Seastalker, so off I went.

I'm pleased to say that I've kept my skills sharp in the gulf between games. I beat the game in an evening with no hints and a 100% score. Moriarty's prose is wonderful and his puzzle design is perfect. The game is a Nasty on the Zarfian Cruelty Scale. You can absolutely make the game unwinnable. However, it's pretty easy to figure out where you've gone wrong, and this is a good thing. It teaches the novice to pay attention and play optimally, as later games will not be as kind.

I struggle to think of criticisms. This is a simply an enchanting little slice of the Zork universe, worth a play by everyone.

This game has some of the most annoying puzzles I've seen. Ones where the logic required to solve them just barely holds up. At every step, you're required to make some massive leaps of intuition, performing ridiculous actions that have little cluing. Even when I had the general idea, the actual steps involved were bizarre. (Spoiler - click to show)Getting the crab, for instance. Tie a strap from some goggles to a shingle (huh?), then tie that strap to a shrimp (huh???), then put the whole assembly into the crab's home, and it'll float to the surface carrying the crab (WHAT). How the hell is a goggle strap big enough to tie around a shingle - a shingle big enough that we also use it to dig six feet into the ground? How does the shrimp not slide out? This is so convoluted and stupid. Or how about those benches? I typed "push benches south", which worked just fine, but then I'm expected to key in "put benches against wall". Why not be consistent, and just let me type "push benches southwest"? Obviously, I can't get specific without spoilers, but know that if you want to solve this without hints, you'll need to be prepared to try a lot of things that don't really make sense, and learn not to be surprised when they end up being correct. Also, there's several times where you have to perform the same action multiple times, in one case with no clue that you need to do so. (Spoiler - click to show)(Searching the trash barrel.)

It gets off to a bad start by taking place in a boring location - a mostly empty beach. Your character gripes about their job - you see, they've got a lot of money in the bank, and this vacation in paradise has them thinking that they could stand to do a lot less working. And there is your plot. Seeing enough exciting sights to convince an independently wealthy person to quit their job and live off their savings. This isn't especially relatable. Sure, most of us would love to explore the world instead of toiling away in drudgery, but having the money to do so just sitting around: that's less common.

I think the main obstacle sitting in my way was the fact that most of the puzzle solutions involve magic, which I wasn't expecting. It's out of place. The other story elements are so grounded that it just seems silly. The overblown writing when your character is being "emotionally moved" just felt forced, and hearing them go, "Hmm, maybe I SHOULD quit my job???" after each one was insufferable. People don't act like this.

The whole game is just obnoxiously twee in tone, and seems to think that having emotional fulfillment rather than treasure as a goal is "deep". It's not. They've just replaced Zork's treasures with adjective-heavy descriptions of nature. Your character has no depth; they just go from wanting to quit to quitting. And again, the puzzles suck.

Two stars for being well-programmed, but otherwise I think this game is overrated fluff that is mostly unsolvable without the hints or a walkthrough.

The worst puzzle in the game:
(Spoiler - click to show)Jumping into the ocean with a brick. Idiotic. There's not the slightest clue that you need to do this. Maybe if your character said he wanted to kill himself - why else would you thrust yourself to the bottom of the fucking ocean? But no, it's so he can appreciate the beauty of the coral reef. Well, of course.

Here’s a true obscurity, a Quill game written by one man, with no publisher, probably moving very few copies. I went in expecting very little, (and fearing an early Jarod's Journey) only to be pleasantly surprised. This is a well-designed piece that humanizes Noah, and tells his story without ever dipping into Sunday School farce or Hollywood apocrypha. It's a tale we all know of course, but it's about the journey, not the destination.

What a fun journey it is! While technically in the Cruel category, it's not an unfair or difficult game. Sure, you will restore a few times due to death, and there are two beginner's traps that can make your game unwinnable early on, (Spoiler - click to show)(missing the key and cutting down the wrong trees too early) but they're not abundant and you can usually tell where you went wrong. It helps to know the story, as the game has you act out every key moment, and it assumes you have that knowledge for at least one scene; namely the olive branch. There is a well-written introduction though, and praying to God in the beginning reveals His plan, giving even someone unfamiliar with Scripture the info they need.

The gameplay is solid, mostly consisting of preparing for the Flood. These are actions that are obvious, but still fun. People forget that text adventures don't have to be slogs, running the player through an interminable gauntlet of brainteasers. There is pleasure to be found in the mundane. Think of all the happiness people have felt maintaining gardens and digging mines in a game like Minecraft. I enjoyed buying supplies, preparing food, finding drinking water, building the ark. The writing is solid. It’s a serious game, but it’s never stoic, stiff, or preachy. Noah’s piousness and care for the animals that God has created comes through, as you move about the Ark and feed each one. Just like when preparing for the Flood, it becomes quite meditative. Though you do need to be careful who gets what food item; there’s just enough for everybody, and some animals will only accept one kind. It’s pretty easy to figure out who gets what. Just be attentive.

It’s a shame that religious games are so often made just to proselytize. This title shows that you can make an approachable, enjoyable game with religious subject matter. For those who fear that I am writing this out of bias, I will disclose that I am an agnostic, though I don't think being Christian would discredit someone from writing objectively on a Christian game. (Not many folks out there singing the praises of Bible Games.)

All in all, I really enjoyed Noah, and have no real complaints. The author went on to write one more game six years later, a text-with-graphics adventure based on The Plagues of Egypt. I can only hope that it maintains the same level of quality seen here.

What an oddity this game is. At first, it seems pretty good. It's coded well, and makes use of multimedia, with a title screen, music and sound effects. A nifty premise: you're a boy who's been turned into a dog, a mutt specifically, and you have to make yourself purchasable to your mother, who wants a white poodle. You have full access to every doggy action you might think to invoke - great implementation. The writing in general is sharp and economical. The puzzles are all clever and well-designed. (Although the last one is missing some crucial information. (Spoiler - click to show)Watching the TV will mention garlic driving off Dracula, which is meant to clue you to use garlic to get rid of the fleas. However, that involves getting some garlic out of the restaurant. To do so, you must unplug the robot. However, the plug is never mentioned. Nor is any socket. It's a goofy game - how do I know the robot isn't just like Rosie from the Jetsons or C3PO or something? "x plug" doesn't even get a response, you have to just guess that it's plugged in and type "unplug robot". Yuck.) It also has plenty of red herrings, bonus points to score and places to visit that aren't necessary to win. Some good solid work went into this game. Seems like it should be a solid recommendation, right?

Well it would be, but all is not well. The author has a misanthropic streak that taints the whole experience. Every human you encounter is either a crass stereotype or pointlessly cruel. (Except for the hairdresser, and maybe your mom.) The author takes jabs at blacks, asians, the elderly (twice) and more. I cannot discern why - is it meant to be funny? I suppose so, but most adults have outgrown shock comedy. A kid turns into a dog - this should be a family-friendly romp. What's with this tone?

Sadly, that's not even the full extent of the author's mean-spirited, sophomoric attitude. He put several notes in the game mocking the work of Andrew Plotkin, Lucian P. Smith, Graham Nelson, and lastly, with particular venom, Suzanne Britton. (Spoiler - click to show)He calls her a slut, a bitch, and says she ruins the hobby for everyone else. What? How? What did these authors do to deserve vile insults? Nothing. Apparently not liking someone’s work is justification for a personal attack. Also, a bit egotistical to trash acclaimed writers in your very first game, wouldn’t you say? Not that it would ever be okay, but it’s especially stupid when people don’t even have a reason to take your side. These authors you’ve targeted are all friendly, helpful people who have done a lot for IF, and the first impression you’ve given of yourself is not nearly so positive. You're burning bridges before you've even crossed them.

Now about that ego. I forgot to mention that this guy advertises his music and guitar luthiery, both in the credits and in the game. It's a little inappropriate for the contest to advertise your non-IF business, though there's no explicit rule against it, but it's even more ridiculous to expect us to give you money after watching you hurl vicious insults at other writers for no good reason. Your smug condescension towards these authors, the people who enjoy their games, and your overall distaste for humanity in general are awful PR. Why would I buy a guitar from you, Tim, when I know you, like Futz in the game, will likely be muttering about me and flipping me off once I'm out of earshot? Doesn't make much sense.

This was a polished game with some good design. It may seem fun to play in parts, but it's impossible to ignore the rotten core that sits in the middle of it. A sorry waste, but at least Tim was kind enough to not return with more enlightened takes on the good people of the IF community. For that, I’ll say thanks.

This game is awesome. The prose is just right: simple, evocative, but never terse. The puzzles are very solvable; I needed no hints to beat the game, though I may peek at them if I can't get at all three endings on my own. It really hits that sweet spot; it feel like Zork in puzzle design and writing, but without descending into self-parody or fourth wall-breaking, or constant references to the games it's celebrating.

I really do love those puzzles. Not only are there multiple solutions, but the solutions are all plausible and funny. Funny? Yeah, I laughed out loud at both the silliness of both the solutions and their outcomes. Perfect example of cartoon logic done right. They're zany ideas, the kind that you think of and go, "That could be it, but there's no way, that's too clever, it's probably something more boring." Fortunately, Johnson is no boring designer, and your imaginative or fanciful solutions actually work here! Of course, your mileage may vary. Moon logic notoriously varies from person to person. But man oh man, when you and the game are on the same wavelength, it's a great feeling.

I can think of few better games to show a new player to introduce them to old-school text adventures. They can play it on-line easily and it needs no additional documentation. The parser is great, supporting UNDO and a convenient browser save. And it's not some super-easy game that will hold their hand, either.

I can't say enough good things about this little quest. Smart but not smarmy, it's just what a throwback should be.

This is a lovely, much-acclaimed game that seems to have been slightly forgotten. It's a shame, because outside of a few frustrations, it's a stellar work. You have great implementation. Writing that is atmospheric without ever being florid. A complex NPC with tons of interaction. Fun puzzles that fit into a complex structure. Optional puzzles that point-hunters can look for. There's a little bit of something for everyone.

I love hiking, and this game feels like a hike in the woods. This is the author's first published game, but it certainly doesn't feel like it. Yes, they're writing from experience, but they're not just coding their house. They've lovingly sketched a section of the Pacific Northwest, filled it with new detail, and avoided every first-game mistake. Most of the puzzles (barring one optional one, but hey, last lousy point) are clued well. There's good variety of actions, multiple solutions to problems, and a puzzle structure that puts everything on a timescale. I enjoyed solving something and then figuring out how to schedule it so I could accomplish all goals.

I highly recommend this, which is why I've been so vague. Play it for yourself.

Spoiler discussion below.

(Spoiler - click to show)Okay, so I did praise the puzzles, but there was one I needed a hint for. The pika. I had gotten to the end and the PC was insisting on having eucalyptus for the bath. Annoying, as that's hardly life or death, but fine. Where is it? Obviously, I know it's native to Australia, which the guidebook confirms if you consult it. Okay, let's go ask Bob. He misleads me by saying his wife loved the leaves too. Okay, so now I assume they're in his cabin or something. Nnrt! Wrong! Instead, you have to give the herbs you find to the pika. What? This doesn't work. I know the guidebook says they go into the tunnels and deposit the herbs they find. That doesn't make me think that giving him herbs will let me trade what he finds. And why would I think he could find a non-native plant? Maybe if I could see the eucalyptus trees when on that node, or smell them, or something, but there's no indication that they're growing anywhere. This is a silly puzzle in a pretty normal game. Also, like Andrew Plotkin and Paul O'Brian before me, I have no idea how that egg works. I couldn't get it to appear at all. At least it's not necessary. Blah.

Some funny/odd interactions I came across.

(Spoiler - click to show)If you type "kick bucket", you get the following message: "Bob may be a doctor, but his name isn't Kevorkian."

Typing "give note" to Bob gives this response "He politely refuses. 'I wouldn't miss the chance, if I were you,' he says with a wink."

If you type "sing", it say: "You sing a few bars of 'I Love to Hate Men.' Even if you don't really mean it, that song always lifts your spirits." - this is not an actual song, according to Google, so I'm guessing it's some weird in-joke. Really out of place in a romantic game.

Lastly, a response to O'Brian's quibble about a particular out-of-character PC action.

(Spoiler - click to show)The puzzle he mentioned, where you smoke out the wasp nest. He found it odd that she would burn his toilet paper, so he got stuck not knowing what to burn. What's funny is that you don't have to burn the toilet paper - it's an alternate solution. The solution I found was much more sensible, actually. At any location where there are trees, just "get leaves"; you'll end up with a pile you can put in the bucket and burn under the nest. Same points, same move count, and I think it makes more sense than waving a tiny fire on a stick around anyway. So don't worry. In my game, Bob didn't have an unpleasant surprise when he visited the outhouse that night :)

This is an unfinished game from the enigmatic Rybread Celsius. The puzzle of how genuine he was has never been solved, and while some have called him a dadaist, a postmodernist, and a genius, others have denounced him as a mere troll, or someone playing a clever joke by offering up baffling nonsense as art and laughing when pretentious critics praise him. Well maybe the laugh's on me, but I like Rybread's bizarre prose and strangely atmospheric games, even though they are often hard to solve without a walkthrough.

This unfinished fragment from the author is brief indeed, but still has two grams of that twisted Rybread magic. Playing as a little girl, you search your sleeping aunt's house for candy. It's hard to find though, as the game informs you with very little subtlety that your aunt is anorexic, and has thus purged it from the house. There are three rooms, and three pieces of candy to get, but Rybread does well in this small expanse. Two wonderful moments: (Spoiler - click to show)descending into the carpet, and reading about the knife. The way the girl nonchalantly descends is striking and feels like genuine insight into the mind of a child and their imagination. The note next to the knife is chilling, indicating that the aunt's anorexia has developed into body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).

Considering how interesting these few rooms are, it's a shame that Rybread never finished it. I'd like to see more, but I'm glad we have at least this glimpse.

This is clearly a programming exercise and is barely playable. It's ultra-short, and the challenge is figuring out the actions necessary for completion. There's little in the way of feedback for any actions that don't lead to progress, and just a few sparse locations, one of which has 90% of what you need to win. I suspect the code behind this is quite simple. The goal is just to go through your morning routine and drive to work. You eat, drink, kiss your family goodbye, and drive away. The drive is very eventful, if you don't grab everything you need, but other than that there's little excitement.

I knew all this going in, having read the hilarious reviews on the game's page. But I wanted to see it for myself, to poke at the game see if it did anything interesting. Sadly, it really is that sparse and empty. I did enjoy reading the small amount of heightened prose. The tone is so strange.

If there ever were to exist a Stepford Husband, it would be this protagonist. He talks about his life with a happiness that feels artificial, spouting platitudes like a pull-string doll, meekly satisfied with everything. He describes his wife, his motorcycle, his toast, and his patio with an equal level of moderate enthusiasm, but never with any specificity. His wife and daughter aren't even named, and can barely be interacted with. Work, the one thing he does complain about, doesn't seem like it actually upsets him. He still sounds like an automaton, denouncing his also unspecified work but still concluding that oh well, it must be done. Throughout the entire game, he keeps saying he does this exact routine, each and every morning. It's definitely not intentional, but the effect is creepy. The brevity and lack of response to anything but the required actions makes it feel like you’re stepping into the mind of a talking display in a museum or a theme park ride, one given consciousness, doomed to live out an eternal groundhog's day without ever being aware that they are doing so.

I read a short horror story like this, where a simple room-cleaning AI for a rich kid thought that all of its actions were autonomous, the product of independent choice, not knowing that its routine lifecycle was one that it couldn't violate if it had been allowed to try. It's a disturbing look at the concept of predestination. What if our actions are all decided in advance, and we're playing out those actions, the phonograph needle of time riding the groove of our life, operating under a mere illusion of choice until the day our song ends?

This game is awful, but in a way that's both very funny and also a little unsettling. I'm grateful for these oddball homebrew games that cropped up over the course of the competition. They served as a great reminder of just how good the tools for making adventure games were, and they remain fascinating curiosities to look back on today.

It's a shame that this game is getting low-rated by alt accounts, because it gets in the way of honest discussion of its merit, or lack thereof. OK Boomer is a hopelessly lopsided, righteously angry, and religiously blind polemic on the sociopolitical zeitgeist. My issue with the game is not necessarily its politics, but rather the way it's delivered.

The game is very short, so I'd recommend playing it before reading on.

There seem to be three points here. 1 - That capitalism and conservatism are fundamentally flawed philosophies supported by the uneducated, uninformed, and racist. 2. That people who support such philosophies need to be more open-minded and have open discourse with those who think differently. 3 - Echo chambers are dangerous places that only serve to reinforce the believer's will.

The irony that the author completely misses is that the narrow-mindedness of the Boomer strawman they have stuffed and erected here is something they are also guilty of. Never once in the game does the author consider that they might be wrong, that they are unwilling to have their beliefs challenged, that their sources of information may be just as guilty of party line rhetoric. They condemn the Boomer for rigidness of belief, of blind conviction, but they never turn those accusations inward. Indeed, the author is so convinced that they're right, that it almost comes across as satire, a biting criticism of the vitriolic op-eds, exposés, and hit pieces that have dominated both sides of the political divide as of late. Sadly, this game seems to be another straightforward contribution to that pile. It extols the virtues of open, honest dialogue, but that's not what it actually advocates. In the end, the positive outcome they portray is a one-sided conversation where the Boomer finally breaks down and admits that the Millennial is right after all. Confession, not conversation.

There is a lesson to be learned here, and it's not what the author intended. That lesson is that we must all strive to be more self-aware, learning to recognize and avoid dogma and ego. The author, much like their strawman, seems utterly convinced of the righteousness of their cause, never questioning their own beliefs, because, after all, they're right... right? It's the other side that has it all wrong! In fact, they, the author, are not just right, they're a good person; their ideas hold moral value. That means the other side is not just wrong, they're evil! So they can't coexist with the other side, or reconcile any difference of belief - the other side agrees with them, or else they're a part of the problem.

That description above is not specific to any one belief system or even politics. Tribalism, authoritarianism, zealotism: all can be tied to instating and enforcing any belief. The critical mistake most people make is assuming that they are the exception. "Well yeah, it is dangerous to be dogmatic, but this is different!" It's not. Fact is, we all share different points of view as human beings. We always have and always will. We're never going to exist in a world where we see the same problems or want to solve them the same way. The key is acknowledging that not all problems have just one solution. Instead of trying to steamroll the other side and enforce your beliefs through power of law, we should strive to actually understand each other, recognize the differences that exist, and learn to live with them. Until we do, moral crusades for the principles of the day will continue to rage, and war and death will always be the wages. The short history of humanity is filled to bursting with those who fight for what they think is right, only to see their empire crumble and their ideology rejected in the new society that emerges from the detritus.

Again, this is not about whether or not I agree with the author or not. In fact, that's the whole point. Even if I think they're correct about each and every point, in the big picture, that doesn't matter, because someone somewhere does disagree, and will not change their mind. Getting along with that person - that should be the goal. The person who sits in diametric opposition to yourself must be approached with kindness, a willingness to maybe be wrong, and the maturity and strength to continue sharing the same planet even when that other person staunchly continues living in their inverse worldview. Until we make this breakthrough, history will repeat itself. With both sides refusing to look for common ground and venomously attacking each other through screeds such as this, I can only hope that the inevitable crumbling isn't any time soon.

As stated in the title, this is more of what we don't need. I encourage the reader of this review and the author of this game to free themselves of echo chambers, to find and befriend people who think differently, to answer less and ask more. I have friends that run the gamut of the political compass, and being able to unite in the common humanity we share has made each of us a little less dogmatic, a little less judgemental, and a lot happier.