Ratings and Reviews by Teaspoon

An exercise in 'how well do you know your IF parser?' I've compiled a list of actions with unique responses in the spoiler space; it's probably incomplete, but is longer than the Club Floyd list and includes some amusingly silly responses. A few typos, but it's fast and fun.

(There is no apparent reference to Suzanne Vega's 'Small Blue Thing', which I will admit was my go-to visualisation for the Blue Thing - the THMBGs song being slightly vague as to description.)

(Spoiler - click to show)
About
I
N
E
S
W
NE
SE
Up
Sing
Dance
Stop
Cry
Fight me
Remember
Forget
Sleep
Wake up
X ideas
X blue thing
xyzzy
Wait
Pray
Curse
Smell
Listen
Think
X me
X doorway
X road
X stairs
Take stairs
Take doorway
Laugh
Hit stairs
Hit doorway
Hint
Urinate
Eat door
Credits


Recommended for: when you're in a methodical mood.

There's one feature this game lacks that both "What's that Blue Thing Doing Here?" and "Come On and Wreck My Car" had; it literally ends after every single move, forcing you to restart or undo it each time, instead of resetting itself and allowing you to smoothly continue typing. There is a gameplay reason for this, but that doesn't make it less annoying.

(Also there's a typo in the opening text, and while this game was finished in a hectic rush for deadline, it's glaring, especially given the number of times you'll be looking at it.)

(Spoiler - click to show)It's a logic puzzle disguised as a barfight. Restart resets the person trying to punch you this week, while undo allows you to continue playing around until you find the winning move, which is easily found, thankfully. It does what it's trying to do, which is what I give a game three stars for.

Recommended for: any time, if you like reading about bar fights.

Brisk yet descriptive, it plays very quickly if you're accustomed to IF. If you're not, this is as good a place to try the genre as any - what you see is exactly what you get.

(The canon of intro-to-IF-games consists of large, intricate games. Which are great, but there's also something to be said for a game with immediate gratification, and this is it for a beginner.)

Recommended for: a pick-me-up when you're stuck on another, much harder IF puzzle.

One of the simplest stories in the Apollo collection, but the endings are well-worded and well-chosen. And as brief as it is, there's still a moment to delight the attentive player.

Recommended for: a date with a bowl of ice cream - you'll finish them at the same time.

It's a solid premise - childhood creepypasta videogame hilarity - and I would rate it higher but it also induced the only kernel panic I've ever seen. Leading to an amusing few minutes while I was rebooting and trying to figure out whether I was dealing with a computer game or a cunningly disguised computer virus.

((Spoiler - click to show)The endgame dynamics were a bit much for my OS, apparently.)

So, genuine sense of terror achieved! Mission accomplished.

Recommended for play: go all out and play at midnight. In a thunderstorm. With the lights off.

Surprisingly believable! It's a cliched scenario, but the game knows and plays on this. Not only are your actions far-ranging but the reactions of your director make him an unexpectedly deft NPC. Minor touches of weirdness (the "Reefer Madness" reference warranted a chuckle) add to matters.

Here's the list of actions.

(Spoiler - click to show)Before looking at the list below, try looking at the director's notepad. It'll have a suggested move on it, which may help you find more. You can look at what you've done so far with SCORE.

Be aware that repeating some commands will have amusing results, so it's worth trying things multiple times.

(Spoiler - click to show)
--open window, wait, ask for a hint, call 911
--look at the camera, examine the magnet, read the magazine, examine backpack
--request the score, tell a joke, undo, swear
--make a body noise, examine the boom mike, grab chest, live
--open the fridge, any unparseable command, jump, restart
--examine the brochure, quit, eat apple, coughing
--go in any direction, cry, sleep, lick the ashtray
--think, pray, sing, eat chocolate
--eat the paper, phone LifeCall, wake up, take or drink the beer
--smoke, say XYZZY, examine your wallet, take the gum
--die
--press enter (as in, literally press the enter key on your keyboard, with no text. Heh.)

Given the nature of interactive fiction, someone had to make this game eventually.

i'm just glad that it was in a context where it was actually sensible for it to have happened.

Recommended for: the commercial break of a show you're only half-watching, on a lazy Saturday morning.