Ratings and Reviews by Ogre

Adding to mizal's review, yes, this has a lot of inside jokes. But at the same time, it is still kind of enjoyable, even if you don't know the jokes. Many of the jokes can just be written off as silly things that go on, so the story still works. That said, to actually solve this and get to the end is quite difficult. You're not going to just click your way through and find the ending for this story. You've got to work at it and I'd guess that most people have needed help from the author to find the final solution to this one - but you're welcome to try!

The premise of this game sounds good. There is certainly a great deal of potential based on the description. In fact, you could likely write a novel-length choose your own story with that idea. Sadly, I can see before I read this that the story has only a length of 3/8, so I’m not expecting a great deal from this one…

Ouch. The very first page has a misspelling on it. But then it gets worse because the first page appears to ask a question of me, the reader, but then doesn’t give me a choice, I have to click on the single option I’m presented with. Now I do think there’s times when you can end a page with a single choice. There are some instances when that makes perfect sense. But in this case, with one and a half lines via two sentences and a sentence fragment, that’s not the place to give me one option to move on. Instead, why not just include whatever is on the next page on this page until you reach the point where the reader actually has something to choose from?

I do like that the next page actually has a couple options and those options do appear to have an effect on the story – that’s what a CYOA is all about! Interesting enough, though, the very next page in both cases give me exactly one more selection again. Throughout the story, most page are just one line and sometimes there’s a choice, but more often there’s not. This would be much stronger if all those pages without choices were combined to the point where choices were available on every page.

I do like that some of the options clearly do have an effect on the story. There’s more than one path and different results, and that’s nice to see, especially in such a short story.

This story was apparently written in a very short period of time, but I’m not impressed with the uses of the English language on the first page with all the swears. Sure, I guess that’s the way someone might talk and all, but usually that’s just not needed in the written word.

Beyond that, well, at least there are choices in this story. There are indeed options that lead the reader off in different directions and the choices do appear to have a clear effect on the story. Beyond that, well, there’s just not all that much to this story. Most of the story seems to be focused on trying to kill police rather than actually trying to get some bacon (though perhaps that was the point of the story). So sure, this was written in 76 minutes, but perhaps it would have been quite a bit better if some more time was spent on it.