Reviews by streever

This is a clever, short little game, with plans to expand beyond the introductory version it is currently in and into a full game.

The premise and concept are both strong, and I'm hopeful that the writer does create a full-length game from this introduction--I'd play it! The basic puzzle is well-clued from a player perspective, and makes sense in the context of the game.

This is a game with some beautiful writing and a deep, profound story.

It is largely linear but not lacking in agency; the outcome is predestined, your decisions will shape how you feel in reflection and about the story you've engaged with.

This is effectively a CYOA with a largely linear although deep plot, strong player interaction, and a non-judgmental narrative voice.

I enjoyed the story immensely and the writing was very good, although at times the author's experiment with procedural generated content could detract from the experience. It is possible--for instance--for the game to tell you that a character is silent when they are actually speaking or to tell you that you feel deep pain in a moment that seems unlikely to produce such a feeling.

I don't want to be negative; I really loved this game, and would have happily rated it at 4 stars, but I do think that the content generation experiment holds back the narrative proper. I expect with that removed, we'd be able to gain a little more depth in the piece, and it would free the author up to focus on the rest of the experience. I think the procedural-generation probably added a lot of value/interest to the creator, but I don't see that it adds much value for a player. It has the most minor impact on re-plays, which will be different anyway--no one is going to play this game the same way twice in a row on purpose, so it leaves me feeling like the experiment was technically a success (that is to say, in mechanical terms it succeeds well), but a failure in a narrative sense. I don't see what it adds to my experience as a reader, and I think that largely the story/game is already successful.

The final narrative punch, as you approach the denouement, is successful and strong. Some reviewers criticized it for being too divergent from their intentions, and I see their point; for people who assume a lot more emotional agency in the narrative, it would break immersion slightly. I was completely wrapped up in learning more about me the character at this point, so it didn't have a negative impact. Rather, I just felt a positive sense that I'd learned something important about the character, and it influenced my second play-through.

Ultimately, this is a strong game with a well-crafted plot and authentic dialogue. I enjoyed it and played it several times to conclusion to explore different journeys.

This is an amusing comedic work which riffs on familiar ground.

The humor is dry and understated--not laugh out loud funny, but amusing & wry.

There is only ever one choice--one real choice at least--and regardless of when you make it (or fail to make it) the story works. I can't say too much about the actual comedy or the nature of the joke, because it would spoil the experience of playing this game.

I would urge the author to format the text differently; it is hard to read, and could really use basic typographic improvements. Line height increase, size increase, and a better, more easily-read typeface would make this a much stronger piece. In general I think Twine authors should put a little more work into the presentation of their text; it is easy and generates a huge improvement with only a few minutes of even basic, default formatting.

This is a well-written and fun short game, centered around an optimization puzzle with many possible outcomes.

It is well worth replaying several times, but there is one bit of poor implementation at the end--almost a bug--that could seriously derail your enjoyment and experience.

In general, the game provides such good feedback that the few wonky bits really stuck out--I had to resort to a walk-through to make sure I was on the right track, because the feedback wasn't very clear.

The main problem is one very tightly timed puzzle at the end. If you're a thorough player who tries to take all steps, you will not realize where you're messing up; the game has bundled some actions into one command, and failing to realize this will make you think that you need to do something radically different, despite a plethora of responses that show you as on the correct track.

It is a fun game and well-worth replaying, but I had to resort to a walk through because of bad luck.

I've prepared some hints for people who are getting frustrated, but have already gotten a few endings and tried many different things. These aren't good hints if you've just started the game; these are hints for people who have seen at least one if not two or three endings.

Best ending spoiler hints, from least helpful to most helpful, are below.

(Spoiler - click to show)
Your goal

(Spoiler - click to show)
You need to keep the monster in the room so you can defeat it.


But he doesn't even show up!

(Spoiler - click to show)
You can't do anything to scare him until he is in the room--the monster isn't going to walk into an obvious trap!


But he keeps escaping under the bed

(Spoiler - click to show)
Donald doesn't lie; the sheet belongs under the bed.


Sure I did that but he kills me.

(Spoiler - click to show)
You need to be on the bed when the monster arrives.


OK, so the monster comes in, he can't escape via the bed, my little brother is safe, but he still runs away!

(Spoiler - click to show)
Do you have any items that could make the closet less accessible?


No, I don't.

(Spoiler - click to show)
You're right, there is no inventory item that does that. You'll have to block the closet somehow.


How the heck can I do that?

(Spoiler - click to show)
Maybe you could push something heavy in front of it


I dunno what that would be. Come on, just TELL ME ALREADY.

(Spoiler - click to show)
THE CRIB!!!!!!!!!!!


Whoa boy! OK, 1. Monster is in the room. 2. Monster can't escape. 3. KILL IT!

(Spoiler - click to show)
Uhm I can't on account he is a monster and he eats me


Are you using your bare arms???

(Spoiler - click to show)
You need a weapon.


I don't have one.

(Spoiler - click to show)
Yes you do. Just not on you.


I'm too frustrated to think about this! TELL ME WHAT WEAPON.

(Spoiler - click to show)
THE SWORD! Danny is holding it.


Well how the heck can I get that?!?

(Spoiler - click to show)
Do you think Danny cares that he has the sword? He seems half asleep, he must just want to hold ANY thing.


I hate kids. I don't want to figure this out, tell me.

(Spoiler - click to show)
Give Danny something else first--I suggest Donald--and he'll let go of the sword.


OK! I got a weapon! but the monster is still sooooo tough :(

(Spoiler - click to show)
Monsters have ONE WEAKNESS


No they don't they are invulnerable.

(Spoiler - click to show)
Well except we know they are weak against light.


But I don't have a weapon that is like that!

(Spoiler - click to show)
Did you try upgrading your weapon? Maybe you could make your weapon take on a light quality.


No, I don't know how I'd do that.

(Spoiler - click to show)
Don't you have something that makes things GLOW in the blacklight?


Ugh... what?

(Spoiler - click to show)
The laundry detergent makes things glow in black light


AH RIGHT... but! how do I get to it?

(Spoiler - click to show)
it won't dump out. You can't empty that box.


SO HOW DO I USE IT?!?! JUST TELL ME!

(Spoiler - click to show)
you have to put the sword IN the laundry detergent!


YES! ROCKING! I can hurt the monster! and then he kills me :(

(Spoiler - click to show)
OK, you've done everything right! The issue is a weird timing issue. Monsters don't die from one hit, and you don't want to give them any quarter BE RUTHLESS.


Right, I tried being ruthless, and I never surrendered. BUT IT DIDN'T MATTER. Just tell me the final steps to complete the game. I've come so far!

(Spoiler - click to show)
Yes, you hit the timing issue :( You probably tried to "get off bed" or something first, right? The monster has to be hit 3 times, and you only have 3 turns in which to get it right. Basically, you have to spring your trap the moment he appears, and then just wail away on the subsequent turns.

This is a very short piece for the intro comp. It is not a game, but an introduction, and as such, the story & plot are not fully revealed.

This piece balances the familiar tropes of IF--you begin locked in a cell, in a lab full of hostile agent--against the unfamiliar and novel--you have a device which absorbs scenery and repositions it. It has a lot of promise, and even as a short, stand-alone piece it is worth playing and contains much to praise.

The premise is familiar, and the subversion of it through the main game mechanic is really very engaging. For a 10 minute game, it gives the impression of a much larger world, with an almost endless capacity for interaction. This feels like a huge game, and I felt incredibly disappointed when I had reached the end so quickly.

An unusual protagonist with fantastic powers is explained without creating a wall of exposition or back story, nor employing heavy-handed sci-fi tropes--very well-done. In general, the writing is very good. It is engaging and creates a sense of place and character quickly and briefly.

I really hope that this intro is developed into a full-length game. I'd love to see the capabilities of the device fleshed out, and this is my only real criticism. I was frustrated that I couldn't dictate where an absorbed object should be released in a room--although, I expect I'd be fine with that in a full game, it would be nice to be able to move objects to different walls, even if it doesn't change the game world much.

This is a short, somewhat linear, game that is well-written with an attractive, readable presentation.

Despite the merits (quality writing, strong typographical presentation) this game didn't really move me.

This piece failed to move me because it doesn't create a particularly strong bond between the player and the character, who is suffering from emotional distress that may or may not be grounded in physical reality. I don't know enough about the protagonist to feel invested. I feel badly for this person, but I'm not sure why, or what that means. Characterizations and settings are weak in general. I don't know who anyone is nor do I have any idea where I am meant to be.

One of the strengths of this type of game should be in the "reveal". In this case, I think the game suffers from an ambivalence towards the reveal. It isn't sure what it is revealing or what matters--the different settings it pushes through seem to distract from the real focus, which is the characters identity. The game makes us question the reality of our experience, and distracts from the more meaningful focus of our identity. The character is presented as unreliable and out of touch, which makes us question the input and information in a way that is not sympathetic but distant.

I think this game would benefit from paring down the different world experiences, and focusing on the character and interactions with the worlds the character is in. The central theme/mystery here is our identity, and by jumping into so many different settings, so quickly, the game instead makes us question the nature of the game, not the nature of the protagonist, which is part of why I had a hard time connecting to the character.

This piece reminded me of works of fiction like Correspondence by Sue Thomas. I loved--adored--Correspondence, and felt an incredible resonance with the book and the character. The longer format of a short novel perhaps helps build the bond and sense of investment between reader and protagonist in that case, but I'd suggest the author look at the way the character is presented in Correspondence and consider ways to build up the protagonist in his game.

This is a well-crafted Twine game, dealing with abuse and otherism, by putting the player in the mindset of a cyborg/robot creature who seems reviled simply by virtue of existence.

The game handles the disorientation and confusion of being someone discriminated against well. The cyborg/robot character hasn't had visual sensors connected, so they can only navigate by touch and a form of echolocation. Yes, it is disorienting as a player, but it is done well. The game is not hard to navigate, but the locations do present a sense of confusion and difficulty, in a very authentic way. I felt like I was trying to get around an unfamiliar house without my glasses--serious kudos on that.

The writing is good. The formatting is an improvement on many Twine games; copy doesn't run too long for the most part, and the use of green, extra line breaks, and shorter sentences help reading. This game could still use some additional formatting tweaks (shorter lines, for instance, larger type) but the author is doing several things well from the start.

This game begins with the beginning; the birth of your character. I found myself curious about who I was, why I was created, and what the world around me was really like. The game answers none of these questions. I suspect the author didn't intend this as world-building, but as a statement on abuse and discrimination. It is very successful as such.

I couldn't help but wish this was a longer, parser-based game. I think it would help the theme and strengthen the story to have objectives and more exploration; I imagine the character learning of a way to get their visuals turned on, and succeeding, in able to explore more of the world.

This is your pretty typical sci-fi CYOA; early 1900s adventure and exploration, complete with a savior hero. The game is linear--there is really one way to progress, although you do have a choice of endings.

Narratively, we have a pastiche of early sci-fi adventure stories and some very familiar tropes. There weren't any surprises in the story; my initial assumptions were confirmed in every event. I re-played sections to see if the game changed plot details (or presentation) based on your choices, but it doesn't.

Now, the meat of this is the writing, and your experience really hangs on that. In general, this game suffers from the poor typography of most twine games. I really think everyone writing a twine game needs to stop what they are doing immediately and play Bee by Emily Short, My Father's Long, Long Legs by Michael Lutz, and Howling Dogs or other works by Porpentine.

The writing in Bog-Nymphs is not bad, but it is hard to read. It is large chunks of text with little formatting, and it suffers greatly for this. Call-outs & flourishes would be well-appreciated here. Because the story matter is so familiar as to almost write itself, and the copy hard to follow, I found myself skimming it and reading it in chunks.

I'd recommend a larger type size, some call-outs, and just visually approaching the text & breaking it up into better chunks, along with some source editing; some particularly well-worn phrases could be retired.

In summation, this was a short, enjoyable game, faithful to the subject matter, which could benefit from a skim edit & some serious time on the formatting.

This short CYOA had a few grammatical problems and typos, and a very derivative fantasy plot element--think Gunslinger meets Tolkien.

The actual game is more fun than the sum of it's parts. While there were any number of elements to criticize, I enjoyed this game. Perhaps it was nostalgia for the classic CYOA games I grew up with (full of insta-death and familiar plot elements), but I found myself invested in seeing this story through, and played the entire game, including many undos.

This is a very linear game, much like classic CYOAs, and you won't feel stuck at any point. If something doesn't work, you simply hit the back button and try one of the other options. The fun here is not in getting it right, but in figuring out how the path is crafted.

I suspect this game won't be for everyone. If you played the gamebooks of the 70s and 80s, you might enjoy what feels like a walk down memory lane. Plot-wise this is a post-apocalyptic tale of magic and fantasy gone amok (elves, mages, kings, and orcs are referenced) with a player character who seems like a pastiche of the strong, quiet man.

As an homage/pastiche of classic CYOAs, it works for anyone with a little free time and nostalgia. The weakness of this as a work of IF however lies in the generic world-building. The amount of detail and description about a relatively familiar post-apocalyptic fantasy world could be seriously pared down and suggested more than spelled out.

What I'd be interested in is knowing more about who I am and how I fit into this world. I didn't get a sense for my identity, or what my long-term goals are. Obviously survival is paramount, but what keeps me going? A moral code? A sense of responsibility? Self-interest? I couldn't glean much of my interests and objectives.

This was a fun game, with some good writing for a genre piece. I'd be interested in seeing if the author edits or modifies this. I think it is a first effort, and for that it gets some applause; it is very hard to release your first IF piece to the world (I certainly won't!), and I hope the author continues working with text.

The writing is comedic and amusing, and there is some clever work going on behind the scenes in the shifting room descriptions.

I enjoyed the (frustrating!) mechanics. Some commands are not well implemented (water garden, water crows, etc), and I think the game would benefit from letting the player go off the rails a little bit, but overall this was a fun and engaging short piece.