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About the Story
Your mother was cast aside by your father for certain 'unnatural' practices. Raised by your overly strict father, you always felt as though you didn't belong in the village, and the way the other villagers treated you didn't help. So, what are you going to do about it?
Language: English (en)
Current Version: Unknown
Development System: ChooseYourStory
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|Average Rating: |
Number of Reviews: 1
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Looks like a good intro and description of the story. I am always at least slightly put off when I read that the author “ran out of time.” I understand that may have been the case for a contest entry, but the author can always take the story down after the contest is over and finish it. I have seen many authors take that route. Either that, or simply live with what’s published, make it a complete story, and leave that line out.
I like the first page and the start of the story. I like the italics showing me that this is the past and setup for the story. I really like that I have a number of options on the first page as well. From a quick glance there, it looks like these options really have huge effects on the story, which is really great! Of course, because of those varied options, there appear to be a number of ways to end the story really quickly. I do appreciate the options and that they don’t lead back to one another with no effect, but some of the endings really do appear almost too soon.
I like the writing and the story. There are lots of good ideas in here, and I really like all the branching. Some of the pages are longer and have good dialogue and descriptions in them. I find it interesting that almost all of the endings allow me to restart, except the Peaceful ending. Nicely done, I do encourage you to write more, whether it is with this story or another!
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