For Lila

This is the author's first game. I'm giving it 2 stars right now but it could easily be 3 or 4 stars with just a few small touches, if the author wanted to revisit it.

This is a short branching games with some neat tricks including colored text, briefly timed text, and a countdown timer in at least one part.

You are on a train, contemplating your beloved child named Lila, when a visitor comes and surprises you. The game reveals that (full spoilers) (Spoiler - click to show)you are a vampire, and this stranger is set on killing you.

I like the setup, and there are real choices. On the other hand, the game is really short, and there are a lot of typos that detract from the game. In Twine there's an option at the top to print out a 'proofing copy' of the game that's one text that you can run through a spellchecker; doing that would improve this game quite a bit.

I definitely like the author's storytelling ability and think that they're already doing great at writing, and I'd be happy to play another game by them.

Fun, concise experience with a clever early twist. There are some distracting typos, and I would have liked a slightly longer, more fully fleshed out game with a few more choices, but it was neat to play. The choices affect the story, and there are multiple paths to take, with the likely first "route" for most players leaving a lot of interesting questions to be answered by their subsequent playthrough.

Adapted from a SpringThing25 Review

Played: 4/10/25
Playtime: 5m, 2 endings

This is a tight little work about strangers on a train, cresting into family dramas with a hint of the supernatural. It knows exactly what it is about, sets up a really nice early twist, and builds confidently to its emotional climax. It is SO short, if I give you anything more concrete than that it will end up spoiling a mathematically significant chunk of it.

Pacing wise it is pretty breathless, which is about right for a work like this. It dispenses background lore quickly, economically and clearly, building to a climax of some emotional complexity, though what is left UNsaid still looms large over it all. It also makes a nice decision to background the mechanics of its conceit in favor of the emotional tale. On the one hand, this leaves the player a little asea as to what appropriate responses might be, but that seems like a fair trade when the story’s aims are so wide of “Who can beat up who?” Its brevity makes restarting with new knowledge not really a hurdle at all.

It purports to be a first effort, which, I admire the discipline of it. Especially early in an endeavor it can be irresistible to bite off more than we can chew. Here things are focused tightly, to the story’s credit. There are some typos that creep into the work, some dissonances (like a teddy bear charm that is described more as an actual full-sized teddy bear) that could use a bit of polish. There are also some nice lines. I particularly liked

“offer what little empathy your undead heart can squeeze out.”

All in all a very worthy first effort. Look forward to seeing where this author goes next!

Horror Icon: Leatherface
Vibe: Spiraling Violence
Polish: Textured
Gimme the Wheel! : If this were my project, I would do a pass on those typos and tighten down dissonant descriptions. With a work this focused, it could be polished to a SHINE!

Polish scale: Gleaming, Smooth, Textured, Rough, Distressed
Gimme the Wheel: What I would do next, if it were my project.

This choicegame is pretty short, with a few options. Picking the wrong options takes you to a bad endings, while picking the right options (the more peaceful or moral approaches) will take you to the good ending. If you hit a bad endings, you get the chance to try again.

You could probably finish this in ten minutes even if you were looking to find all the different outcomes. The writing is slightly rough. Still, I'll probably echo the other reviews about this being a solid first attempt and encourage the writer to keep going.