Killing Me Softly

by Fobazi M. Ettarh


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Number of Reviews: 3
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3 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
Walk a mile in another's shoes, March 10, 2021
by deathbytroggles (Minneapolis, MN)

As a white, cisgender, straight male I am in the dominant group in almost every conceivable way and have been the transgression of microaggressions too many times to count. I have had to continually educate myself and be intentional on how my words and actions perpetuate acculturative stress, systemic racism, and impact my relationships with my peers. Fobazi Ettarh does an excellent job of allowing the player to experience this stress in the day to day life as either a gay male or a disabled, black, female.

With either character you choose, you are continually bombarded with realistic microaggressions and are asked to make choices as to how you would respond in that situation. The common theme throughout is how exhausting it is to be around well-intentioned people who are constantly hurting you. Indeed, I have played through this a few times now and have been exhausted every time. And I donít have to live it.

While there are a couple of minor visual bugs, play is smooth and each time through takes no longer than twenty minutes. If I could change anything about the game it would be to make some of the microaggressions even more subtle to really hit home how easy it is for well-meaning people to be hurtful. That said, Killing Me Softly effectively does what it wants to do.

I work for a mental health agency and made this a part of a team training exercise; it was well-received and the discussion was quite robust. For those inclined to do the same, please give BIPOC and LGBTQ staff the option of opting-out as it is not their job to relive the pain in their daily lives and educate the dominant group.

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Joey Acrimonious, March 11, 2021 - Reply
It is very heartening to hear that your team training exercise went well. Just a thought for anyone who's considering doing the same - I would advise allowing anyone to opt-out without specifying a reason. Perhaps that's what you intended, in which case, it's still good to clarify.

My thinking here is mainly that it would be very unfortunate if LGBTQ staff felt forced to choose between enduring the exercise or outing themselves in order to justify their opt-out.
deathbytroggles, March 12, 2021 - Reply
I get your point, and if you allow anyone to opt-out, in some agencies you will get dominant groups, the ones who need to benefit the most, opting out. I think if you were to do it this way you would want to require people do a one-on-one training with their supervisor. In our agency we also had a separate opt-in training for BIPOC staff led by a BIPOC supervisor.
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