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About the Story
A twine game where the reader explores a stack of letters left on their desk from someone they cared about. She has hidden herself inside her words, and all you can do is read between the lines. Can you find her?
26th Place - 22nd Annual Interactive Fiction Competition (2016)
The Breakfast Review
I don't know that I was deeply affected by the story, but I guess I was affected to a certain extent. In many ways, this is a character study or a portrait of Cadence, some of it in her own words, some of it demonstrated by the protagonist's memories. It's pretty sweet. Some of the poetry felt--like teenage angst poetry--a bit unnecessary. I'm not sure what to do with it. After a while, it actually felt a bit intrusive to want to poke around any more, which I guess is kind of a point in the story's favour.
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Number of Reviews: 4
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Disclaimer: (Spoiler - click to show)Hi, this are the reviews I did in the the IFComp 2016. Iím Ruber Eaglenest. Co-author of The skyscraper and the scar, and entry of that year. The review is posted without edition, and need some context about how I reviewed and rated the games. So, apart of my bad English I hope to be constructive. I will point to the things I don't like of the game, but I hope to be helpful. The structure I follow is this: Title, one line review, two to five word; Mobile friendliness, overall, score phrased based on IF comp guidelines. I had back ache and so thatís why I played most games in Android mobile, I looked closely at how games behave on mobile and review and vote based on that.
Mobile friendly: almost, but comfortable to play.
General: Interesting premise. At first it feels another game of consulting a Database to learn a whole story from pieces and scraps. You are in a desk with a lot of previously undelivered letters of someone who seems have passed away. However, instead of having a semi random interesting interface where we could parse all letters bit by bit, the game has a traditional twine structure, and this just donít fit the topic and theme and story. Eventually you reach the end of the tree and you find an irritating Start over link, to begin from the start. It is irritating the fifth time you find that. I think a premise like this requieres a somewhat simulation of the space (like in Her Story or 500 apocalypses), a way of pick always random letters, a way to sort them, a way to not to read the already read letters. That is a way to not repeat the same texts again and again, or the same loops again and again.
The content is mildy interesting. Yes it describes the life, the way, and the death of a beautiful girl. But it is somewhat on the nose. Thereís nothing much to discover because the death is just there, almost at the beginning. And the contents are not so interesting.
Apart of the structure problems, thereís a big problem with the voice of the game. At first, it seems that it is just that, the letters, in the writing and voice of her, but later there are passages that has flashbacks, or sequences where the protagonist is me, I mean you, the player. It just donít feel right, because thereís no homogeneity in the use of it. It feels random. Or improvised.
Score: In the end I didnít like it very much, and the start over mechanic irritated me. Not recommended.
I'll admit, I was disappointed, because I thought this game actually had a series of secret coded messages that you had to decrypt, from hints in the text.
But this is actually a bunch die of letters from a girl to the player that talk about life and difficulties. The styling is great, and the game is polished and descriptive. There was some strong profanity.
Really polished, but relatively short and hard to piece together.
This twine piece tells the story of Cadence, a young woman who the opening implies has died, through the letters and memories she shared with the narrator. The writing is good, making use of a strong voice and sense of rhythm.
The opening takes the form of a last letter, a farewell, to the narrator, a classmate who became her closest friend. The story flows well, with regular reveals of information, and an interesting mechanic of "starting over" at the end of every story node to learn more.
I didn't think this would work as well as it did; the first time I saw "Start Over" it was after two clicks, and I wondered if the piece would be tedious and repetitive, but it isn't at all. The mechanic works perfectly to let you learn more and explore the story in greater depth.
Overall, this was an affecting, moving work.
Twine. You are looking through different letters send to you by your friend Cadence, and click keywords to bring up more letters. Sometimes there's a bit of your own inner commentary as well.
Cadence and you are characters with personality: Precocious, a bit melodramatic, but then that's kind of what you get with teenage protagonists like these; you need that sort of perspective to drive things. The letters span a bunch of times, different topics, different moods, and Cadence pours herself (or versions of herself) into them.
Each letter has a couple keywords you can explore, and those keywords take you to another letter or moment about that. The starting letter's keywords all lead to branches that address a different topic or event.
The writing... the writing is quite good, good enough that it makes me want to settle in, and treat it like a novel. That's the mode my mind switches to. But those have professional editors and countless revisions, and I hit these minor typos, or places where the sentences are too short, or some other small thing... They're all minor, but they feel just slightly disruptive, and it's not fair to compare it with an actual novel, probably -- Twine's a great tool, but the lack of spell checker means people should consider running their text through Word or something.
The writing's generally better in the letters than in the third person stuff, which sometimes didn't flow as well, or which were phrased slightly abnormally; as an affectation in written letters, they work well, but in third person, a bit distracting.
This has a structure, and the letters are revealing, in different ways, and build, in different orders. The branches eventually hit an end, and you have to start over, and I think that reasonably gets across the idea of you poring over these letters and re-reading them for clues, haphazard and disorganised. You can set a system for how to go through the letters and you can go down the line, or you can just click whatever draws your attention first. This works either way.
This is version 4 of this page, edited by Doug Orleans on 22 November 2016 at 2:10pm. - View Update History - Edit This Page - Add a News Item