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Number of Ratings: 3
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1-3 of 3 - Edo, August 31, 2023
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2 people found the following review helpful:
NIcely styled twine poem about turning 22, July 30, 2023This is a poem entered in the Neo Twiny Jam, with 500 words or less.
It's styled nicely, with beautiful fonts and illustrations and transitions and some music.
It's mostly just a poem, the feelings someone has for their 21st birthday, The freedom is in what order the poem is explored.
I liked it overall, but a lot of the enjoyment of a poem is either in symmetry or purposeful asymmetry. But there was a bit of unevenness, like rhyming 'skills' with 'skills' and varying between exact rhymes and almost-rhymes in a non-symmetric fashion; and some of the lines were hard to fit into the meter when read aloud. However, the sentiment was strong, and those features I described as lacking may not even be desired by the author, although I feel like they could be introduced with some mild revising.
- Cerfeuil (*Teleports Behind You* Nothing Personnel, Kid), July 6, 2023
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