GONCHAROV - THE MAFIA HIGHSCHOOL DATING SIMULATOR

I think this line summarises the game best: Your name is Goncharov. You are fifteen years old, and today is your first day of mafia school. G-TMHDS is a very short datim-sim game, dabbling with the Goncharov “lore”. Dipped in humour and sarcasm, the game gives the player a short introduction of the main players of the “movie” and their relationship to one another… if this was a Highschool AU.

Due to its short length, the game feels more of an introduction to a larger dating-sim, rather than a fully rounded story. You wake up, get ready for school, meet up with a friend (Joe), and try to talk to your crush (Katya) and be jealous of her friend (Sofia), before the game ends with a hint of a dark attraction (Andrej). There are a few choices throughout the story, each giving some humourous variation (try ditching school).

From the start, it is clear the game is not to be taken seriously. It will treat your not-so-smart question with disdain, and your doubt with deprecation - an attitude many would have towards teenagers or very naive individuals. The narrator is not afraid to call you out for stupid decisions (or as-stupid thoughts about doing something). [SPOILER]“Teresa Maria, Goncharov, don’t be such a square.”[/SPOILER] had me wheezing.

Honestly, I still haven’t decided whether this was meant as a parody of the meme or of the highschool dating-sim genre. It makes fun of both mafia tropes and of those dating-sim (as much as it can with the limited passages), juggling between the two without missing a beat. While reading through it, it reminded me of that KFC dating sim game from a few years back - I Love You, Colonel Sanders! - it is of the same tone: frivolous, humourous, and plain stupid (the hahaha this is so dumb kind). It just hits all the right notes.

I think this game might work even better in a VN form…