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Clare has many thoughts. Not all of them can be said out loud.
Made in Notepad for Anti-Productivity jam 2024.
Entrant - Anti-Productivity Jam
I need to let it out is a collection of text files containing thoughts and feelings that Clare doesn’t dare say out loud, even though it is weighting on her. Between dealing with loss and struggling with their identity, Clare discusses her hopes and wishes for the future - especially with one special person. Retrospections of past relationships, especially their failings, brings forward this yearning in Clare to be seen - not just a glance, but actually be seen - and to have their feelings reciprocated.
In the way those thoughts are communicated, it becomes clear Clare struggles with her seemingly innocent out-personna, of the helpful girl that asks nothing in return, kind and collected, insightful but plain, with her more passionate desires (especially in regards to her crush). The never-reached balance between virtuous actions and unexecuted vice. The felt extremes.
I think it’s best displayed with how Clare talks about Tiffany in two different sections, first her silent personal devotion from afar, almost voyeuristic-like, to her domineering, almost disturbing, view on the future of the relationship when they finally interact.
These feelings and thoughts should probably get out, at some point, probably sooner rather than later… but maybe not today.