Woah. I'm not against nsfw content in general... but this is... I'm not sure what to say.
You're in a toilet. You can either do the small stuff or the big stuff. You can stand or sit. If you do it standing up, you make a mess. If you keep doing it, bad things happen. At one point, the smell is said to be 'palatable'. At this point, I'm unsure if it's a typo or not.
This sort of toilet humor might entertain someone else, but it's probably not for me. I'm planning to beat a hasty retreat now... and perhaps find someplace to sit that's not a toilet.