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About the Story
It's been a half a year since your commander woke you from hypersleep. Your ship is on a 50 year trip out to the newest colony. You're the second-to-last "pilot": your commander will stay awake for the last year of the voyage. You've monitored the ship, monitored the rest of the crew, and you've tried to stay busy. It's a big ship, but there's only so much time you can spend exercising and reading. Finally, it's time to go back to sleep again.
I expected some abandonitis when I read the description... what I didn't expect was...
You aren't feeling especially drowsy
As good-looking as ever
The Creature approaches from the east
You see nothing special about the creature
It sildes up to you then slits your throat in an instan.
You scored 0 out of a possible 0.
(And when the creature follows me around it is reported to me twice)
You don't see any such thing.
Okay, enough rant. Polish the game! What creature is this that can slit my throat? I pictured some kind of rat type of thing, apparantly it has a knife? There should at least be a description! The way it is nonchelantly brought up I thought there was SUPPOSED to be a creature here. (Apparantly Vionlence is not the answer to this one if I try to kill it!).
Another thing- list the exits somewhere! The first few rooms list the ladders that lead in various directions, but there are also a bunch of rooms off in the cardinal directions that are not listed in any way. (For that matter, what good does N,S,W,E,U,D do in space? There is no magnetic north here! But I can forgive that one).
The game has some typos "even the maintenance bots can't make it smell like nything else". The writing is done well, and the atmosphere makes me really want to play this game, but there needs to be some kind of indications as to what can be done. I couldn't pet the creature, or examine it, but this creature which is described (as it kills me) as not violent, kills me without provocation and in an intelligent way that describes malice (it's apparantly not eating me).
It (the game) kills me because I can tell there is a good game here, but little things like this really turn me off. The library should respond to the word books (even if there are no physical books- a digital library should respond to the word, even if to refer me to a console). And having exits listed is a must-have, even if it's just listed in the status bar or something. If a creature is going to kill me after a number of turns, I can't spend most of them bashing into the walls trying to discover where the exits are. (And I should get some indication that it's hostile!).
I reccommend some beta testing and a new version- it looks like the premise and writing is good, but these polishes are a must-have!