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I just don't know the words / or how to conjugate them, March 25, 2024There's a specific style to Emily Short's games that I really like, and it's inspired plenty of my own writing. Just this dry, bleak tone, how everything can pass by without being given too much notice. The descriptions that manage to say so much in just a few words. The way characters with differing outlooks to the protagonists are portrayed. Bee, a story about a homeschooled, religious girl with dreams of winning the spelling bee, is even more of the greatness I've been expecting.
Bee gives you a few stats to keep track of. Obviously, you want to study frequently and raise your spelling skills, which have the helpful effect of eliminating wrong answer choices for the player during the spelling bees later on. But you also have a motivation counter, reminding you to take a step back and ask why you're really going for this. Your parents are aware of the stigma against homeschooled children and they want you to be on the national media, showing that your family and your fellow homeschoolers are worth something. Other challenges the protagonist grapples with include games and chores with the family, trying to support her younger sister Lettice, celebrating denominational holidays, a crush on a local boy named Jerome, and meeting various neighbors whose unfamiliar lifestyles lead to dissatisfaction.
As Bee goes on, the protagonist's outlook on life changes. She's no longer dreaming of the almost superhuman feats of language mastery she's wanted. She spaces out during her lessons, pays less attention while tutoring, idly doodles on her notecard. Her daydreams consist of wondering how Cinderella ever escaped her situation, and what kind of freedom she'll have once she finally finishes the contest. In one particularly effective vignette, she forces herself to trudge back and forth through heavy snow, the cold being the only thing that can keep her awake as she finishes her word list top to bottom. She loses motivation and realizes that she's only doing what her parents want of her. By this point, she gets an English tutor who is "some form of heretic" (not atheist, but possibly agnostic) and is pursuing Jerome in private.
The overall tone just gets increasingly disinterested as the game goes on. Studying your word list in the later segments will get you this: "All those words on your lists are like tokens of a life outside, beyond these walls; of a variety and diversity of human life; and you are not allowed to know any of it. For now. You'll get out. Eventually. It has to get better." Even the final segment consists of two challenges, one of which goes by in a blur (you don't even remember what the word is), and then the next. The protagonist gets second place, but her parents are still proud of her. This hollow appreciation leaves her unfulfilled -- what was the point of all that studying if she doesn't feel any accomplishment? Will failure ever stop being okay?
I only got one of the four endings, but considering how stories like Best of Three go, I can't imagine the others being too much happier. With a simple gameplay loop, a few stats that are a nice balance to manage, and the engaging prose and meaningful decisions that direct the protagonist's attitude, this game won me over on the Choice of Games format. One of the best.