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Battle the amok mummy of a disreputable love potion huckster while filming the story of the century! There is a news story here bigger than any antiques show. How will you cover it without getting killed and to what lengths will you go to bring home the story of the century?
A Mummy Is Not An Antique is a 52,000 word interactive novel by Randy Condon, where your choices control the story. It's entirely text-based—without graphics or sound effects—and fueled by the vast, unstoppable power of your imagination.
You play as the producer of a PBS antiques appraisal show, dutifully starting another on-site episode while managing the eccentric personalities of your cast and crew. Events go pear-shaped when a guest arrives with a mummified human body, allegedly the corpse of the local legendary Bog Mummy. Quickly a menagerie of forest shamans, a priest, show-security, a southern gentleman and his supposed grandchildren squabble with increasing fervor over ownership of the body.
• Play as male, female, or non-binary.
• Enjoy a comedy-horror adventure battling (and filming) the supernatural.
• Trade quips with the mummy of Professor Thadeus Frost, salesman extraordinaire of love potion and other dubious concoctions.
• Discover the secrets of the mysterious scroll behind all these shenanigans.
• Risk you and your crew's life and limb to get the story. But how far is too far? You decide.
• Five different endings available, depending upon your choices.
I purchased this game on my own recently because I wanted to explore the less-played games on the Hosted Games app on my iPhone. This game was the least-rated one on there, with 3 ratings since 2018.
I was expecting something much worse, to be honest, but it looks like Hosted Games' requirement for a public beta test ironed out a lot of problems that you might see in, for instance, the least-played IFComp games. I found no bugs and only one grammatical error ('would of' instead of 'would have').
Storywise, you are a host for an antique appraisal show when someone comes in with a mummy to get appraised. A horde of people come in chasing the mummy, including someone with a scroll that brings it to life. The majority of the game involves trying to stop the mummy with the scroll.
+Polish: No problems with the game.
-Descriptiveness: A lot of it feels bland. I have trouble picturing any of the characters.
-Interactivity: A lot of the choices are the same.
-Emotional impact: The jokes mostly didn't land for me.
+Would I play again? Honestly, yes, it was a pleasant way to pass a short amount of time.
For me, the game felt pretty flat. Characters are generally indistinguishable, with everyone's personality being 'kind of selfish and likes to make witty remarks'. Most scenes are the same: you try to take the scroll and someone stops you. Most of your choices are the same throughout the game, either 'pick one of these punchlines for the author's jokes' or 'keep filming/help someone off-camera'. I think this kind of general ambiguity is the main thing that decreased my overall enjoyment.
I still finished and it definitely wasn't terrible, and took me around an hour (would have been 30 minutes if I read quicker). Overall, I'm definitely pleased by the quality of the least-played Hosted Games, especially since my own game is one of the least-played Choice of Games.