Reviews by Lance Cirone
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Action-packed superhero silliness, February 12, 2023A Matter of Heist Urgency has an intriguing genre mash-up of being a heist and a brawler, and one where everyone's a horse. Some ponies, some llamas, some work as pirates while others are knights and superheroes. After some brief detective work to figure out who stole your city's crown jewels, you're off to a desert island to fight a scurvy crew of llamas.
The game's got a nice style with separate "parts," each headlined with some sequenced jazz music. You have a few fights to get through before the end, and the first pits you (and your partner) against a team of three. It introduces the battle mechanics well, where you're discouraged from using the same move against an enemy more than once. RNG determines whether your attacks hit and if you dodge the enemy, but it was generally skewed in my favor, so it felt fair.
There's a scene midway through that convinced me to give this game 4 stars instead of 3. It really impressed me, and it seems to be added in response to earlier reviewer feedback, so I want to highlight it here. Please play the game before reading this part! (Spoiler - click to show)It's a flashback to Anastasia's past as a rainbow factory worker, and how it got sabotaged by a llama. We also learn about her friend's death? I assumed that's what it was. The music score here is astounding, being perfectly timed with the text, growing in intensity as it goes on, and even having some beeping in time with the rainbow meter's explosion. It adds more backstory, it's fun to follow along with, and it's a great attention-grabber after the first battle.
For the pirate battle, there's action set pieces you can take advantage of (with a little thinking) to get rid of certain enemies, guaranteed. Running around the ship, solving puzzles before the llamas could catch up to me, was a surprisingly fast-paced and intense experience. Eventually, I just chose to fight them head-on. The third battle is done in choice format, but has some nice descriptions and visuals. Each one feels dynamic and serves a purpose, so it prevents the game from getting repetitive.
I think the short, punchy nature of this game works in its favor. The wild premise and bite-sized battles make it an easy choice to just jump into and enjoy. In that way, it's like the IF equivalent of a Saturday morning cartoon. The IFDB page and in-game header say that Heist Urgency is the first in a series, and I'd easily play a sequel to this.
The first time I played Colour Beyond Time, it was on the unfinished Adventuron version. I found a bug that prevented me from finishing it, and when the author was alerted of it, he fixed the game and even ported over the third part. With the game now in a complete state (I played version 3.3), I think it's only right to give it another review. For transparency, the text of the original review is in the comments.
Let's start with the plot. Your friend Carble has left you a note: everything rests on you to stop an ancient being from rising from the lake and destroying the world! It's up to you to explore the town, figure out who you trust, and uncover what's really going on. I enjoyed the story, the bits of history you pick up and get to mentally string together, and the way the characters interact. Spoilers, but (Spoiler - click to show)I did NOT expect the hotel manager to have such an important role in the story.
The puzzles throughout felt pretty fair. I kept notes, so I always had an idea of what was left to solve or where I should go next. There is one thing I think I did earlier than intended, though: (Spoiler - click to show)I wound up finding Sasha's hideout before opening the library's archive. Still, it didn't spoil any of the plot, and the puzzles didn't conflict.
Part 3's more intense tone and the way it ties everything together felt satisfying. I liked the plot developments, but it left me with an unanswered question or two: (Spoiler - click to show)We never got to know what happened to Meeks and the hotel manager. The former isn't seen after you escape the hotel, and the latter isn't even brought up as far as I remember. A small graphical detail I liked was the (Spoiler - click to show)increasingly distorted backgrounds. They added to the feeling of impending doom. In order to play this part, you need a password from the end of part 2.
One small problem I noticed throughout was the lack of specific responses or even item descriptions. I got a lot of default responses for examining or trying to take things. Having it say "you can't find it" when I tried to take described items in a room was frustrating, to say the least. Carble even has an explicitly mentioned and illustrated giant window in his room, and I wanted to look out of it and see what I could see, only to get that default response for everything I tried. Part 3 also gave me a few errors: "LISTEN" always printed a blank line, even when it was described that I could overhear someone talking, and "SEARCH" gave me the same text throughout as it did the end of part 2, referring to (Spoiler - click to show)being able to see the well at the bottom of the ocean, from the rowboat, even though I wasn't there anymore. The game also has some typos throughout, but these didn't prevent me from understanding the plot and they never got in the way of the parser.
A few more general notes about the game, and advice for players: Save often, because you can die if you mess up. Still, the game will explicitly warn you when you're in danger. You also have a score counter that you can see by checking your pocket watch; the SCORE command doesn't work. There's a limit on how many items you can carry, but I only ran into this once near the end of part 2. You have a fair amount of junk items you don't need by that point, so it wasn't much of an issue.
Overall, I found Colour Beyond Time to be worth playing. There is a rewarding story and the developer has been very good at responding to my comments and questions. I recommend this one if you're looking for something more old-school.
You're an idea, time to be realized, January 23, 2023An Artist and an Idea is a cute little Twine game. You take the form of an "idea" inside an artist's head; no emotions, no physical form, just a want to be realized. You first get to decide when to appear in your artist's head, and then you can slip away or stay put.
The game's presentation starts with white text on a black screen, but when the idea is being realized, the colors switch and it uses a more handwriting-style font. At this point, you can decide which emotion you want to convey, reflect on the artist's memories, and then remember the people he's met.
With the game's ending screen, you're given a small sketch, alongside a paragraph of text. No matter what image you get, the message is hopeful and optimistic, with the idea finally realized and hoping it can be developed further. Subsequent runs will take you less time, but you can click different options to see if you get a different sketch at the end. There are six endings total, which is a good amount for a game this size. I'd recommend playing this one to see how the idea turns out for you.
You Won't BELIEVE What This Reviewer Thought!, January 21, 2023Everyone's familiar with this kind of personality quiz. You take them for fun, or because you're bored and need to kill three minutes, and forget about them. 10 questions takes an interesting turn.
The game's short enough that you should probably play it before reading this review, so I'll spoiler-tag most of it.
(Spoiler - click to show)The QUESTIONS. They get so personal and accusatory, and tell a story. The first one that hit me was "Is that the same date you took me on when we first met?" I was suitably creeped out. This got hammered in with "When you wake up to an empty bed, what do you think about?" It made me start wondering, how is this supposed to be taken in-universe? Did my ex make this quiz and send it to me just to harass me? That's a whole new level of obsessive.
She says, "I always feel like I come last. Whatever else you're doing, it's always more important than me." When in reality, you just have normal human responsibilities. She thinks what scared you away was that she "liked loving you too much." Actually, it's just that she's judgmental and clingy, and holding you back from real opportunities you want.
She becomes increasingly desperate, repeatedly asking you to relive one of her favorite memories. You respond, "What's the point of rehashing everything we did together?" It's been years, you two broke up, and it'll never be the same. At the end of the quiz, I got a really passive-aggressive and needy response. It was thematically appropriate and also kind of disturbing.
For my next run, I tried being more of a jerk, but I got the same response. I think this might be rigged up to specifically guilt trip me no matter what I do... or maybe I was unintentionally being "sweet, but aloof" on my first run. I did get a bit more out of this second run, but the way the story unfolded was mostly the same, so I don't think it has much replay value.
Overall, the game tells a story with a very unique format. I realize the "romance drama" genre is a bit overdone, and this story did feel a little uneasy at times, but I feel like it was worth my time.
A worthy sequel, January 21, 2023I loved Threediopolis. It's inventive, I got a kick out of seeing all the interesting places I could go, and the difficulty was challenging yet fair. When I heard there was a sequel, I couldn't wait to jump in and see what kind of new mechanics were added.
Figuring out Fourdiopolis for the first time gave me much the same experience as Three. I tested my moves, tracked what they did, then found the letters I needed to use to get somewhere close. I (Spoiler - click to show)met Ike first, and after that, everything clicked.
I think I had a harder time finishing Three; not only because that game had more tasks before the first "ending" point, but the number jumping felt a bit more severe. Also, in Four, your completed tasks are listed in alphabetical order. This was a big help, since for every destination I chose, I had a good idea of which letters it could start with.
I love the different vibe of Four. Three had you traveling around a city to complete tasks for your employer. Meanwhile, this game's atmosphere is futuristic and throws you into a controlling society where you're witnessing rebellions and captures. Everything feels more oppressive and hostile. It's a big change of tone, but it sets the games apart pretty well.
I was kind of relieved Four ended when it did; while I was open to (Spoiler - click to show)completing 15 more tasks, I didn't want to do it immediately afterwards, having just solved similar puzzles for an hour straight. I might pick this one up again in the future to see if I can make it further, but now I really feel like replaying Three. If you liked the predecessor, check this one out. Otherwise, you should probably play Three first.
I'm playing this game in its very early state, but I'm not sure if it'll be finished. The author says that he'll "hopefully keep working on it soon" on the game page, but he seems to have been inactive for almost 300 days, according to his itch.io activity. Which is a shame, because the story is promising so far.
Your crew has been investing in an expensive construction in a jungle-like area, until you receive word that it's been canceled. It's up to you to navigate the structure and find the human foreman (the rest of the workers are robots) to shut it down before it takes away any more of your money. The game has a vaguely futuristic, sci-fi tone to it, and I liked the descriptions of the massive structure.
I got tripped up when I was expecting a simple puzzle, but there turned out not to be one: the scene with the robot at the entrance. I dropped my luggage and stuff, and the robot wanted to know my ID and name, so I started searching my items for an ID card or some identification. I was planning to show it to the robot, but if that didn't work, I could just read it and say what it was (I, as a player, didn't know my number or last name yet). Instead, you can just type something like "say your name and id number to the robot" and that works. There's also three points you can get, but I only earned one (from taking one of the items that dropped), and I'm not sure if the other two are available.
The game ends immediately after this scene, before it really gets started. The blurb admits that the game was made in a couple of days to meet a jam deadline. With that said, I wouldn't recommend playing the unfinished version (it's pretty standard gameplay), but if it ever gets finished, I'd be glad to return. Still, even if it doesn't, there's something to be said about a permanently in-progress game with "Cancellation Order" in the name.
Go Game, So Same, January 20, 2023I played this one a bit after Very Vile Fairy File, and it's clear they're cut from the same cloth. That doesn't bother me, though, because I really enjoyed Fairy File, and the game has a bit to differentiate itself. For one, the leet learner works differently, and figuring that out again was fun. I just wish the new notes returned, because I liked looking over those as a recap of what I had done. I think it was easier to figure out this time around, but I had to manually track down my reads as I went through the game until I understood it. I also noticed that you get a few more items that you carry with you and have to wordplay with to get out of difficult situations, like the light lute and the red rose.
I'm split over how I feel about the Spurning Sprite as an antagonist over the Fairy File. Whenever the Fairy File spoke, you got some kind of humorous insult and then the player character's introspection. Plus, the showdown against it was fun and climactic. The Spurning Sprite's dialogue is more intelligible and has personality, and I thought its battle was clever, but overall it didn't lead to the same deep thoughts and doubt that the Fairy File gave us.
Overall, both games are pretty fun, but I think Fairy File slightly wins out over Jokey Journey for me. If you liked Fairy File or Quite Queer Night Near, you'll get a lot out of this one.
Waste of time, January 15, 2023My Girlfriend's An Evil Bitch is, first and foremost, a wilderness survival management simulator. I realize this genre appeals to some people, but it felt poorly planned and executed here. For reference, I played release 13.
The thing is, you don't know what this game will be the first time you play. I was sure I could take my time and explore my house, maybe see a bit of what's on the street, and then take my car to the airport on time. Every turn after 3:00 PM, the game will nag you with the same piece of text after every command. It got annoying fast as I repeatedly tried to fight my way there, and you will end up seeing it a lot, because there's no way you're getting everything done before the survival aspect. Especially if you're taking time to prepare.
I bought everything from the pawn shop, because I thought I'd be able to find more to sell. I couldn't, not even the diamond ring and violin I found in my house safe, which I thought would be worth a good amount. There's a bookstore with hint books, and a general store, too. Once you pass a certain point, you can't come back for any of this, and it's up to you to do the wilderness survival portion using just what you got to prepare.
Once you crash into the wilderness, it's up to you to get rescued. I opted to use the radio I bought from the pawn shop. The thing is, no matter what you do, you don't feel like you're making progress. I staked out a hollowed-out old tree to bide my time, but even after I cleaned it up with some nice wooden flooring and stones to keep the bugs away, staying there didn't seem to do anything different. I had to make my fire outside, and while I had more than enough material to burn and ways to light it, it didn't do much (heat doesn't matter). It made smoke that the game said could help someone find me, but that didn't go anywhere. Repairing the radio was a bit more complex than I expected, but I hooked it up to a speaker, had the fire burning and making smoke, and got a notice saying I was ready to go. I decided to wait it out until help arrived, rationing out what meager food I had... and died before anything really happened.
The hunger and thirst mechanics are maddening. You have a limited amount of food, so that's constantly working against you. For thirst, you have a stream to drink from, but you can also buy a canteen from the general store and fill it up. If you don't? You have to run back and forth between your shelter and the river to drink, which also lowers your hunger and thirst meters massively with how much time it takes. I guess what I'm supposed to do now is start over, solve all the puzzles again while the game repeatedly shouts at me to go to the airport, spare myself an excess purchase (maybe the matches) to find the general store and buy the canteen, and then gamble for another chance at survival? I'd probably just die of hunger again, even though I picked up all the food I saw on my first run.
One important aspect to note: it does seem like there's a lot you can do here. The hints detail a bit of content that I didn't come across, but it seems equally as frustrating as what I did see, so I'm not enthused to play more. Maybe if you're willing to give this one a lot of replays to find a solution, it'd be worth it? As it stands, I really didn't enjoy it.
Brief and amusing, January 14, 2023Jupiter's forcing you to set up a party for Chuck D. Schmendiman, a man entering the pantheon for his newfound immortality. To get supplies for his party, you trade four delicious fruit pies (which, disappointingly, give a "plainly inedible" default response if you try to eat one) to the Greek gods spread around.
This is a Speed IF, so there's not a lot of gameplay or puzzles here, but I liked the atmosphere. All of the gods are practicing different activities and have amusing personalities. I particularly liked Mars looking just like the planet Mars instead of a god. And the ending is silly, but I wouldn't have wanted anything else from this game. A quick play, but worth it.
Full of personality, so-so puzzles, January 12, 2023Speculative Fiction's voice and narration are full of personality. Everything is written from the perspective of wizard-turned-bird W.D., whether he's reflecting upon his past failed inventions or trying to cheat his way into wealth. The NPCs and characters around the world are interesting, and I had so much fun on my initial run through the world just to see what there was.
Eventually, it came down to the part where I had to start puzzle-solving, and this is where the game started to grate on me. There's very few clues, and while I was able to solve two or three on my own, I spent a lot of time struggling with ones that I didn't have the necessary materials for. I think I had a bug with the (Spoiler - click to show)cabinet puzzle, and the blind man's puzzle wouldn't accept some of the other solutions I thought were sensible. Other stuff, like the (Spoiler - click to show)stock market and fishing chalk circle, are practically begging for you to look at the walkthrough.
I'd recommend giving this game a quick look to appreciate the unique style, but don't be afraid to look for hints if you're intent on solving it.
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