Ratings and Reviews by verityvirtue

Playing this, I had the impression that this game could do with some beta-testing, as it is not yet a polished product. It does have, at its heart, a logical story, which would make a lot more sense with greater characterisation. Contrary to the author’s fears, it isn’t actually repetitive, so that’s a point in the author’s favour.

I had the general impression of going through too many actions which did not advance the story. I get that the author made an intentional effort to create suspense, but if the author wanted to make the twist (that is, (Spoiler - click to show)when Mr Kennington fires the player) more shocking or devastating, then it would make sense to show us what kind of emotional stake the player character (PC) has in the job.

(This is where characterisation comes in- something like an explanation of how the PC got this job, or whatever the author sees fit.) Allowing more interaction with the old man would also help in characterisation.

The game’s general appearance is not particularly encouraging, as there are frequent spelling mistakes and lapses in grammar. This gives the impression of hasty writing.

The puzzles in the story were a bit trivial- in fact, if there were no puzzles but instead thoughtful interaction with the old man, or something to show the PC’s emotional stake in his job/clockmaking in general, that would be completely fine.

As a side note, it would be good if there was an option to switch audio off, too.

To the author: take heart! Please don’t let this dishearten you, and do continue writing- it’s not too hard to find people to test your game (http://game-testing.org or http://intfiction.org/forum). They can often spot things which an author would never think of, like bugs, spelling errors, plot holes and such.

Having discovered the resident assistant in your dorm dead- murdered, clearly!- you immediately take on the role of amateur detective!

For a whodunit, though, there was not much in the way of finding things out, more of just finding things. The PC’s motives were also not very clearly explained, which was sorely needed to justify the story and suspend disbelief. (Spoiler - click to show)Other things also jarred: for example, the PC’s apparent lack of emotion- as well as the reactions of most named NPCs- seemed to me suspicious and would have been a rather juicy twist, but, to my dismay, it meant nothing.

There are multiple endings, so some thought went into the branching of the story, but I still found the events a tad puzzling, even with the revelation at the end. It’s not a bad beginning; I hope the author continues to write games and hone her writing skills!