Ratings and Reviews by End Master

This is one of those Infocom games I didn’t play until the Lost Treasures collection came out for the iPad. I remember it sort of catching my eye a couple times with the box, but just never pulled the trigger on it.

I sort of already knew the infamous ending to this one that made more than a few folk rage about, but that’s never stopped me from watching or playing something before. As they say, it’s about the journey.

So the journey then, well it reminded me of those simpler text adventures like Revenge of the Moon Goddess or Perils of Darkest Africa, with the exception of the writing and parser being better in every way. Plus in this one there’s absolutely no other NPCs to interact with (Even Perils had pygmies). Just you struggling against survival (water and food needed) and ancient traps.

I know a lot has been made of how you’re actually playing a villain protagonist in this one, but you don’t really get that impression necessarily from the game itself. It’s more in the feelies that came with the game (Or digitized versions of the feelies in the case of the Lost Treasures collection) so the “morality tale” that the game tries to convey at the end doesn’t really quite work like it should.

Once again, I think this is a game that could have benefited from having more interactions with NPCs. If the game started off with you having to screw people over, be a bad boss, etc in order to achieve your goals, then had a shorter last stretch after everyone has abandoned you and you have to enter the pyramid alone, I think from a story point of view this would have worked a lot better. Would have been a lot more fun too, to actually BE the bad guy as opposed to just getting told you were in passing.

The game itself is still solid in every other way though.

This was the last Infocom game I bought by itself in stores. Or rather I ordered it with a bunch of other games from a catalog that sold mostly C64 and Amiga games during the waning years of the company. A lot of good low prices and at that time I was just trying to buy as many C64 and Amiga 500 games I could since I certainly couldn’t find the stuff in actual stores anymore.

Yep, it was increasingly looking like I’d have to finally buy a PC with this Windows 95 that everyone seemed to be talking about. (Civ 2 pretty much was the main motivator)

But getting back to the game, I got this one thinking that with a name like Cutthroats surely it would entertain. I suppose I should have learned my lesson with Moonmist.

As usual the feelies were cool and necessary for parts of the game. And that’s about one of the few good things I can say about it. Much like Moonmist, they experimented with the concept of different endings which gives some replay value, but much like Moonmist, I wasn’t particularly enticed to play it again.

A “living world” that the game tries to create with NPCs going about their business rather than standing around for you was a good idea in theory, though the problem is because you’ve only got limited time to do what you have to do, you can miss a lot of things if you aren’t where you need to be. Worse though is everything involving the actual finding of the shipwreck, diving and such was just sort of dull in general.

I feel like with a name like Cutthroats there should have been more emphasis on dealing with the NPCs. Like having a puzzle to deal with each of them at specific times that they’re going to betray you. (And of course they’re also all trying to backstab each other for sunken treasure as well so it isn’t a case that they all just mob you instantly)

Perhaps more of psychological approach to this game would have worked better. I can just imagine having to take an entire crew (Not just avoiding taking the traitors because they ALL will be traitors, yet you need everyone’s skill at some point or else you can’t get the treasure). Scenarios could involve having to deal with someone just before you leave, during the dive, having to deal with one guy that went with you trying to off you with a spear gun, another trying to poison your food, perhaps manipulating another character so that they remain loyal to help you later at the end, etc.

Well just one aspect I think it would have been better anyway.

I remember my parents getting this one for me for Christmas and I’m fairly certain nobody in my elementary school had anything like it. Probably was the most “sexual” game I had before I later acquired Farmer’s Daughter a few years later.

Played on lewd mode obviously, but it’s not really excessively sexual even on lewd mode though. There’s a few places where your protagonist actually sexes up another character, but it’s not really pornographic in detail. It’s mostly going for humor right from the start.

For example, the way you choose your gender in the beginning is pretty funny and inventive as far as keeping the choice “in game” by picking which bathroom you need to use. More amusing is failing to even choose a bathroom within the short time you have to solidify which gender you are (and remaining “genderless”), results in you peeing yourself just as the aliens arrive and upon seeing this lack of self control they decide to just blow up the planet, ending the game.

The game also came with a scratch and sniff feelie which various numbers would come up in the game urging of when you should sniff the scents on the card provided. One way of being immersive I suppose.

After the initial beginnings of the game, using the bathroom, getting captured and getting your bearings. You’ll soon meet a NPC (Always the same sex as you) that also got captured. The NPC follows you around and sort of starts off the main mission by giving you a list of what items you need to gather to defeat the Leather Goddesses. It’s a running joke that this follower will always die in certain situations and you’ll travel alone for awhile, but the follower always comes back usually with a quip about how lucky they were to avoid whatever death at the last moment.

The majority of the game involves running around and teleporting to different locations in an interplanetary scavenger hunt. Mars is just one of the locations, Venus and even back to Earth are some others.

I generally hate mazes on principle, but there is a really annoying maze at one point which really wasn’t necessary. You need the feelies to get through it. Though it’s an Infocom game so using feelies to solve a puzzle is pretty par for course. There really could have been a less frustrating forum of copy protection though. A simple password where you have to say “Kweepa!” at a security door in the game (Found in one of the booklet feelies) would have sufficed just as well than a damn maze.

The writing and humor are what really make this game shine. While it’s definitely supposed to be a parody of old B-scifi movies, this game feels like a “B-version” of the Hitchhiker’s Guide game also by Infocom since it feels fairly similar to it with how the layout is (Scifi setting, emphasis on humor, random scavenger hunt for seemingly useless items, non-linear ways a of travel etc). I had more fun with this one though probably because it was a more “original” setting.

Not that the concept itself is unique, but as much as I liked Hitchhiker’s, it was based on a book and drew heavily from it. So you always felt like you were knew which jokes were already coming if you even has passing knowledge of the book. Leather Goddess was a more original creation. Not to mention the puzzles in this one are at least somewhat more reasonable. There’s isn’t anything nearly as ridiculous as the babble fish puzzle here and even the tougher puzzles don’t come that early in the game.

Certain bits of this one stuck with me more too, even the minor stuff from saying “Kweepa!” to your follower answering a riddle with complete confidence “That’s easy! A grapefruit!” which lead to their death (And then them showing up later of course).

Definitely one I kept coming back to.

This was one of the first Infocom games I got along with Zork I. While I went back to each one about equally, the writing in this one is what kept drawing me back in. Good thing it was so funny because I never got very far in it until I finally bought the hint booklet a few years later.

Up until this point, I had only really been familiar with Hitchhiker’s thanks to a mini-series of it that was on PBS. I remember enjoying it with my parents when we watched it, so it made sense that they bought it for me at some point.

While this doesn’t have nearly the same issues as the IFs based on Dracula or Frankenstein, there is still a bit of a confined feeling since you’re essentially playing “the book.” In the game’s defense though, it does deviate quite a bit from the book in many ways even if still follows the general plot line of the first part of it. Generally the further you get in the game, the more it starts to deviate.

The feelies that originally came with the game were pretty fun. Ranging from an empty plastic bag (supposedly containing a microscopic invasion fleet.) to a pair of cardboard glasses (Peril Sensitive Sunglasses).

Funny writing aside and getting back to the puzzles, yeah this one was pretty unforgiving. The babble fish one is the most infamous, but that wasn’t really the only one. It’s just one of the “worst” since it comes pretty early in the game so you get stuck pretty quickly. In fact most of the beginning of the game until you get to the Heart of Gold is difficult mainly because of timers. You only have so many turns to escape before earth gets destroyed. You escape to the Vogon ship and you only have so many turns before they find you. So you really have to make sure you do everything necessary in those situations before moving on. Lots of times if you didn’t take a certain item, you won’t be able to get it again and without it, you won’t be able to win.

The game will outright lie to you in a few instances, there’s also at least one time you can end up in a literal walking dead situation via randomness. (The game will actually tell you, you'll die in a few turns, but you can still play up until then) Add the fact the game will often outright mock you when you die and it’s definitely a case of the game creator trolling the player.

Not that I’m against trolling the player of course. But given how much the game stacks the deck against you, I can’t imagine most completed the game without a guide. Which sort of defeats the purpose to some degree because it gets to the point where you’re not really “playing” so much as you’re just reading a book every once in awhile you type commands to move the story along. (Unless the point was all a cunning plan by Infocom to sell more hint booklets!)

Still, I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the game, even if I was doing more reading than playing.

I’m pretty sure I just got this one out of the sense of not wanting to come away with nothing from Electronic Boutique at the time. Didn’t really read what it was about. The word “ghost” caught my eye, just looked at the cover and the name and figured, yeah this looks like horror, maybe this will be like The Lurking Horror.

Yeah, it wasn’t as I soon learned.

Of course that’s my own fault, so I can’t get too disappointed about that, well I can, but that’s not the only thing I didn’t care for.

I will point out a positive which is the fact of how they did four variations of the game. Doing it by your favorite color was an odd choice, but it was as good of way as any I suppose. About the only problem with this is I wasn’t really engaged in the game the first time around to want to replay it.

Time passes in the game so you only have a limited time with figuring out the mystery. There are also certain events that are scheduled, like dinner, gathering in the drawing room, bedtime, etc, but of course you’re not really bound to be present for things like this. It’s more of a flavor thing and probably during your first play through to gather information.

Amusingly you can by pass the formalities and solve the mystery as soon as you get in the castle assuming you know where all the needed items are and arresting the culprit. Pretty sure if you’re fast enough you can confront the killer with everything before dinner even starts.

You just don’t get involved with the other characters too much other than some brief talking. As I remember in my play through, I kept flirting and kissing with one of the female characters who seemed to be into it quite a bit based on her reactions. I tried visiting her in her bedroom later at night (through the secret passage) and doing more, but you don’t get much further. In fact the game says something to the degree of “Hey this is an nice game, not a video nasty.”

Yeah, that was more entertaining.

The thing about arresting/confronting the culprit should have been dangerous as well. Like maybe you’d need at least some sort of weapon on you to make sure you didn’t get shot or something similar. Seems sort of laughable they would just give up so easily.

All in all the game just rather dull regardless of what color you played as (Just like the boardgame!), but at least it came with some nice feelies.

One of the issues of writing reviews for the old Infocom games as opposed to other old text adventures is they were popular enough to stand the test of time so more people even to this day have gone over them quite a bit already. Still, no reason to not try to to say a few things about them even if one is probably treading old ground.

Lurking Horror honestly is probably my favorite out of all the Infocom games mainly due to the genre. Funny thing is I had no real idea of what I was supposed to be doing in it for quite awhile. I probably wandered the halls of the university several times wondering what to do never realizing the “plot” didn’t actually start until I turned on and logged on to the computer I started out sitting in front of.

Might have helped if I’d read some of the feelies that came with the game immediately since there’s clues about in game elements in some of the booklets (like a needed password for the game). I guess I was more fascinated by the little rubber centipede instead.

While I liked this one a lot, there are more than few problems with the game as far as the storyline.

The plot that sort of drives you to be wandering university in the first place doesn’t really inspire. I can’t say losing my term paper in the system would be a big motivator for me to suddenly wander the university’s steam tunnels and forgotten basements. Might have been better if your character had a friend that was one of those that had gone missing which caused you to start your search. At least more of a motivator.

Another thing that would have increased the horror aspect would have been a more pro-active “lurking horror.” As it stands most of the hostiles you encounter are stationary. You’ll encounter them in one area, deal with them once and then they’re gone. The semi-exceptions being the rats and maintenance man who even then still only move around in a particular area until you figure out how to get past them.

I could have seen maintenance man continually popping up randomly nearly anywhere (Because, y’know he’s a maintenance man) a lot more as a constant threat much like how the thief would move about in Zork I. Being occasionally being harassed by an undead janitor would have at least made wandering empty corridors a little more interesting.

The timer aspect and the way it was integrated into the game was fine and at least there was a way to extend it (up to four times)

As far as the parser and puzzles go, well it’s an 80s Infocom game so it’s pretty good for it’s time, though there is ONE very infuriating area involving a ladder where the game really needed to be able to recognize more commands. I swear getting stuck just because I didn’t know I had to specifically use “Lower ladder” as opposed to several other more obvious phrases was the most frustrating thing about the game. Even the maze wasn’t as bad since there was an easy alternate way around it.

Despite the problems though, it doesn’t change the fact that this is the Infocom game I kept coming back to the most.

I played the original Uninvited on the C64. I enjoyed it quite a bit even if it was on the unforgiving side. The original doesn’t really use a parser though so it probably doesn't qualify as an IF in the traditional sense. I guess it could be considered sort of a “static” point and click adventure since you’re using a cursor to click on verbs and objects on the graphics display and only reading text at the bottom as opposed to typing anything in like you would for even something like say Tass Times in Tone Town.

This reboot of the game does a really good job of turning the original into a pure text game. Had to make a few adjustments of course, but that’s to be expected.

The general horror feel isn’t lost, though I can’t say it necessarily does a better job so much as it’s just different. While I do agree that the imagination from pure text can often come up with stronger images in one’s mind, there’s also the idea that what has been seen, cannot be unseen.

The picture of the southern bell ghost for example is fairly iconic for anyone that played the original. Her image is burned into my mind to this day. So I sort of missed seeing her again and the impact of the encounter wasn’t as great. Of course it could just be that horror in general doesn’t really scare me so much as I enjoy more it on a visual level. Probably depends on what you played first too, but I know what I like.

In any case, I have no problems with this update not making the game less lethal for today’s players who seem to squawk at the mere hint of any sort of death outcome in IFs. It’s a farking haunted house filled with ghosts and demons, not a pre-school ball pit. Death should be stalking you around every corner. Even the time limit makes sense in the setting of the game.

Could have gotten rid of the maze though.

Back in the 80s there weren’t many games that let you play as the “bad guy” so seeing something like Knight Orc where you get to play as an orc was enough to interest me. (Hey this was long before playing as an orc was mainstream) This technically qualifies as a graphic text adventure, but not everywhere is accompanied by a picture. In fact, I typically turned them off since it just made the load time longer. This game was nowhere near Corruption level of long load times though.

So Knight Orc is another one of those odd games that had some interesting ideas, but it’s questionable if it shouldn’t have just stuck with one thing. I say this because there’s a big reveal later on in the game which would be considered a major spoiler, so I won’t go too much into it and I’ll just address the first part.

Yes, this another game that divided itself into three parts. First bit involves you being an orc and going about your orc life which mostly involves you getting attacked nearly at every turn by just about every other character walking about the game.

“Hey look an orc! Let’s kill it!” or “I’m fighting a filthy orc!” are words you’re going to be hearing a lot by NPCs. You can somewhat curb this by “disguising” yourself with cloak you can get near the beginning, but it isn’t foolproof. Linger around the other NPCs too long and inevitably one is going to realize you’re an orc. You’re a terrible fighter for the most part too so you’re unlikely to win. Not impossible though.

Getting killed by any of these NPCs isn’t a big deal anyway. You literally just respawn elsewhere in the forest area which is more or less nondescript. You can wander a lot in it and never really get anywhere.

In fact wandering the forests in any direction is rather pointless. There are key locations that you can instantly go to by typing something like RUN TO GIBBET. That’s actually the preferred way to travel. (The game understands a sizable vocabulary) Of course it’s not really readily apparent what all the unique locations are if you’re playing the game for the first time. There’s sort of clues though in the instruction book that came with the game and there actually is one location which allows you to see all of the places you could instantly run to.

Which brings about what it is you’re exactly trying to do in the first place. Well, that’s not really spelled out either. You’re just sort of dropped in the game with no real instructions. Through trial and error (and wandering) I sort of got the idea that I was supposed to figure out how to get back home but the bridge is destroyed.

So you basically have to build a new way to get across which involves rope. However, there is no rope so you have to make a rope which hilariously involves going to all these unique locations and trying to get bits to make a long one. (Halyards, cords, belts, hair, etc)

There’s a few more items you need too, but bits of “rope” are the main things. You’ll also come across a lot of items made of gold which seem like you’re supposed to gather, but most you don’t really need and just act as a distraction.

Manage to accomplish all the goals you need to and get across to your home and you’ll be heading to part two which is where the big reveal happens. Parts two and three both deal with it so they’re more or less played together.

As mentioned earlier and in the title, while this reveal is certainly a concept that makes the game a bit ahead of it’s time, I honestly would have rather been playing a more “mundane” text adventure as a looting and pillaging orc. As it stands, you’re hardly even a “bad guy” given how everyone is just sort of picking on you without provocation most of the time. I’m sure that might have even been the joke of exploring how adventurers generally do just sort of barge into orc lairs and slaughter them all even if they haven’t been doing anything particularly evil and keeping to themselves.

Oh well, I can’t fault the game for what it did do though even if it didn’t live up to my own expectations.

I saved the “best” for last, or at least the one I kept coming back to the most which is Night of the Walking Dead.

The goal of this one unfortunately isn’t about fighting the hordes of undead, it’s just you trying to find your Aunt’s locket so you can prove your claim to the inheritance. So naturally the logical course of action is to go dig her up and bring it back.

Wandering about a graveyard digging up your dead relatives isn’t quite as glamorous as seeking out King Solomon’s Mines or a lost temple with a golden moon goddess statue, but you’re not the fortunate son.

While you may not be fighting off hordes of undead, there are certainly are zombies walking about. They go for your head quite a bit too, though not to eat your brains, they just wallop you in the back of the skull from time to time and steal your items, making things a lot more inconvenient for you.

While not quite as bad as constantly backtracking to gather water to survive, this ongoing event just stretches the game out longer than it needs to be. There’s actually a few places the zombies will outright kill you, but most of the time it’s a punch to the back of the head, waking up and finding a vital item like your flashlight is missing and you finding it elsewhere later. Funny thing is the zombies in this tend to only move about when you’re not looking directly at them. They’re like Dr. Who’s Weeping Angels in this aspect.

You’ll be doing a lot of backtracking and running between a graveyard and an island. More than a few places you can find yourself among the walking dead if you drop certain items in the wrong place, forget to do something before doing something else, etc. making the game unwinnable. Lot of juggling items around too due to limited inventory space.

I’m almost certain that it was the setting that kept me coming back despite a lot of the frustration tactics employed in this game. The version I had used a light gray background which for a game filled with text sort of made it a bit immersive for the time (Foggy graveyard).

Could have been much better, but for the time it was definitely one that kept my attention.

Moving on to the second game of this collection is Revenge of the Moon Goddess.

The goal of this one is to find a lost city and get the idol of the Moon Goddess. Despite taking place in another hot environment (South America) there’s none of the gathering water every five turns nonsense of which I was very glad about.

This adventure is a very straight forward one compared to the other two games in this bundle. Just a simple search for an idol in a jungle setting and solving puzzles along the way type thing. The stuff you have to solve all feels natural seeing as you’re exploring a lot of temples with traps and such.

While this makes for an adequate adventure, it didn’t really stand out too much to me.