Reviews by Gryphon
EndMaster
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Death Song, March 14, 2022 General Recommendation: Highly recommended. Just be sure you’ve read through Necromancer first, because this story relies on the player’s knowledge of that game.
Preview: Witness the end days of a world as a musician in the army.
=SPOILERS BELOW=
General notes:
This is a difficult game to review. It has so many layers of narrative structure and subtlety that I’m sure I’ll realize I missed something shortly after posting this. But I’ll try to do it justice.
The narrator’s most key trait to this story is his humanity. His struggles, goals, and actions, are all based around the idea of being alive in the world, such as his struggles with his bravery, his role in the army, and balancing his practical needs with his artistic vision. The narrator’s repeated choice to flee and live or fight and die shows very starkly that sometimes being brave and summoning up the courage to do something really is futile. The narrator is well aware that he’s failed to make a difference at these times, and he struggles with being put in the position of a survivor and hero, when he only lived because he ran away. What he really wants is the chance to practice his music and develop his talent into something special, but practical concerns prevent him from doing so. Though part of the army, he has no special attachment to the Zalan Empire, and just wants to keep his family safe, especially as the war becomes more and more dire. These two challenges contribute to his general sense of being lost and adrift; he’s very unclear on what he wants and how to get it and this story does a good job of communicating that. It’s a very human struggle that anyone can relate to, at least to some extent.
The story handles these themes well on their own, but they become much more powerful when set against the backdrop of the end of the world. While most stories that tackle these themes ultimately come to a positive conclusion, or at least a proactive one, in this story the narrator never gets an answer to his philosophical questions, he never really comes to terms with his reputation, and he never has the chance to find fulfillment and purpose. This is not due to his own actions, but due to circumstances entirely outside of his control. Even when he handles the situation as well as he possibly can, he’s doomed to failure because he’s facing an opponent he simply has no chance of overcoming. Oddly, this has the effect of making the focus on narrator’s challenges more poignant. In the midst of this epic chaos and confusion, this is a very human story focused on the narrator’s human struggles: His fear, his passion for music, his love for his family. These struggles do not disappear or fade when faced with larger-scale issues, instead, they become all the more important. When these painfully human struggles and challenges are ultimately wiped out as life is destroyed forever, it’s a tragedy. So much so, that even Catalina can recognize it, if only for a moment, even if it never quite reaches her husband.
Which brings me to the second key point about this story: It’s a companion piece for Necromancer, and a completely brilliant one. Necromancer is a game of power. In Necromancer, the player is a world-conquoring tyrant with nothing standing in their way as they bend anyone opposing them to their will. It’s fun, it’s exciting, and it’s an emotional rush. It’s fun enough that you allow yourself to push aside the fact that this power is being used to commit horrible atrocities, and simply enjoy the ride. Necromancer is, essentially, a brilliantly-done power fantasy.
But Death Song takes Necromancer as it exists and turns it into something far more personal and powerful. Death Song shows the player Necromancer from an outside perspective, and shows them the consequences of their actions. It never gets preachy or moralistic, instead simply showing the player from an objective angle how the other people of this world are affected by the events of the plot. It slows the player down and makes them think, considering the implications of this story far more than they would with it as a standalone or a linear story. This is done most directly (and effectively) in the final scene with the narrator’s frustration and musings about the Necromancer and Catalina. The narrator at no point allows the pair any kind of forgiveness or acceptance, nor do they ever back down or try to justify themselves to him in their pursuit of global genocide. But he and Catalina are able to speak, human to human, and reach the slightest of understandings.
This is a very artistic game, and stands alone among EndMaster’s works as a much more subtle look at literary themes such as death and human power, or the lack thereof. It’s a challenging concept to tackle, but it’s done masterfully for maximum emotional impact.
Specific notes:
-I like the way the narrator’s involvement in the mercenary band is handled; he’s uncomfortable with some of their actions, but too dependent on the income to do anything about it.
-The Necromancer’s father’s inclusion on the mercenary arc adds depth to his character, and is helpful to both Necromancer and the framing of this branch. The conversation between the narrator and Captain helps give his perspective on his family and lets the reader understand him in a way they can’t while looking through his son’s eyes.
-The difference between the narrator’s personal integrity on the mercenary and army path is interesting.
-The story starts with smaller incidents, such as the conflict in the mine, before building up to events that happen in Necromancer. This helps the reader get a feel for the protagonist outside of the plot references.
-The destruction of the narrator’s lute on the mercenary path is a good plot details and shows the change in his development.
-The scenes with the mercenaries and army recruiter do a good job immediately establishing the tone of the two groups through dialogue and actions.
-The letters to home work better than most informational links, as they provide insight that would be difficult to potray through the text, and give insight into the narrator’s thoughts rather than important strategical information.
-The Quillars are an interesting fantasy race.
-Despite the fact that Zalan/Retland politics are ultimatley unimportant to the plot, I like their inclusion. It makes the world bigger.
-The narrator’s talent for music and his company’s appreciation for it is built up gradually as the situation with the necromancers becomes more severe. Fittingly, his musical talent gets much more focus on the arc with the army than with the mercenaries.
-Having the narrator survive only by fleeing is an interesitng decision, one that gives added layers of depth to his character beyond just a lucky survivor.
-The details about different types of music such as elven or dwarven help characterize the narrator and side characters.
-Warnov’s appearing twice helps show how the situation has changed.
-The narrator’s relationship with the Necromancer’s sister is well done. It’s thoughful and touching, but never overstays its welcome, and is played out realistically.
-It’s an interesting touch that the narrator’s relationship with Helena is only ever developed through the letters to home. It makes it feel all the more distant and wistful, which adds to the tone.
-The appearance of the faries is a nice break in the story. It’s touching to find a place that hasn’t yet been reached by the destruction, and all the more tragic when it’s eventually destroyed.
-The final sequence as the narrator grows old and the world dies is quite well written.
-Though like Necromancer the main branch of this story is quite linear, I think this game benefits from being a CYOA rather than a straight story. The multitude of death endings really hammer in how badly the world is being damaged and how easy it would be for the protagonist to simply die.
-It’s refreshing to play an EndMaster game with a mostly moral protagonist.
Grammar
Generally good.
Mastery of Language
Noticably better for this story. The language is much more even and balanced right from the beginning, and becomes almost poetic later in the story. The final sequences of the main path are notbaly well written.
Branching
Very little, but it’s not the point.
Player Options/fair choice
Generally good, considering the linearity of this story. Actions are foreshadowed.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I don’t cry at books or movies, and I did not cry while reading this story. But it was a close one.
CONCLUSION: An excellent game, both on its own and as a companion piece for Necromancer. Notable for its artistry and subtlety.
Necromancer, March 14, 2022 General Recommendation: I recommend this game. It’s a fun read with a sense of epicness and scale that many longer works fail to capture.
Preview: Will you successfully embrace your destiny as a true necromancer?
=SPOILERS BELOW=
General notes:
This story’s greatest strength is the sense of scope it builds up. Though actually one of EndMaster’s shorter works, this story deals with events on a larger scale than most other storygames, following the narrator’s journey to ultimately end the world. It’s an ambitious idea to tell a story about, and EndMaster handles it very skillfully.
The pace of this story is lightning fast in the best ways. No time is wasted on irrelevant details, instead the story jumps straight to the action. In the early parts of the story, it focuses more on how isolated incidents and conflicts are dealt with. This scene-by-scene approach gets across well how time is passing, and by the time the story shifts focus to a larger more epic scale, the reader really feels like a lot of time has passed. Despite the fast pace of the story, it never feels rushed, and the narrator’s increases in power never feel sudden.
The Necromancer’s family is used quite well in this story. Though the Necromancer faces large-scale sweeping challenges like the attack on Nuro and the confrontation with the vampires, ultimately the final challanges he must face are intimate and personal. In a longer story, some scenes with his family at the beginning could serve to establish their relationship, but given the length of the game, the informational links work fine.
There’s always been something amusing to me about the necromancer’s initial state as a college rich kid slacker. He starts off being very human, with very human traits and failings and desires. This shows strongly in his initial interaction with Big Red (as well as his plan to murder him), where he’s clearly in deep over his head, and on the early stages of the necromancer path where he gets curious and excited about new abilities and prospects for expansion. The two major pathes in this game do a good job showing the possibles ways for the protagonist to develop from this initial state. The necromancy path shows him shedding his mortal desires and wishes and becoming a pure detached personification of death. However, the second path makes clear that this was not inevitable: On the hellbound path, he instead embraces the material traits of pettiness and cruelty, sacrificing his natural gift in an attempt to gain power. Despite growing in power to levels almost approaching those of the necromancer path, he never achieves the confidence and competence of a true necromancer, always grasping fearfully for more power and needing to lie and cheat to get it.
Tone is used very effectively in this story. The tone at the beginning of this story is very conversational and casual. This does a good job setting up the world as it currently exists, and makes the tone shift later in the work more impactful. On the hell path, the narrator’s tone becomes gradiose and arrogant, using sweeping language. The Necromancer path also uses expansive phrasings, but this time it comes across as genuine, as the narrator can actually back up his claims.
There’s a sense of epicness and fate to this game. On the hell path, this is true from the perspective of Big Red’s manipulation of the narrator. There’s a sense of inevitability to his eventual domination. It’s most true on the main path, however, which tracks the narrator’s journey to becoming a god of death. Serena’s intervention, as well as the narrator’s steadily rythmic journey towards power makes the path feel fated and destined. This is a particularly interesting theme, given that the nature of the choose-your-own-adventure format prevents anthing from ever truly being fated. It’s done well, however.
The focus on fate and the “purity” of the narrator’s death powers is what makes this game more than just a hack-n-slash kill-em-all adventure. Yes, you do conquer the world, but it’s about more than just conquoring the world: It’s about the Necromancer’s realization of his destiny and place in the multiverse.
Specific notes:
-The pictures with captions add a lot of atmosphere to this game. I’d be curious to know how they were created and where they’re from.
-I’m not a big fan of info links in storygames, and this story has a bunch right at the beginning. The information itself is well-organized and well-written. The need to include bcakground information is understandable in this game, as this game will jump straight into the action and doesn’t have time to introduce worldbuilding in the traditional way, as longer games like Rogues can.
-Big Red correctly identifies that the narrator is “confused and curious” at the beginning of the story. He has the potential to be a great necromancer, but he’s not one yet.
-The protagonist’s isolation on the hellbound path verses joining the Dark Order is a good contrast between the two branches.
-In the fight with Quayle: “You see a small gray building that doesn’t seem to be suggering any effects”. I know this is certainly a coincidence, but I can’t help thinking of the gray building from Tales from the Basement and SSS.
-Aftermath is a good name.
-Lol, left hand demon.
-The politics on the hellbound arc are fun.
-The toll that the narrator’s allegiance with hell takes on his body is a good way to show his corruption.
-The scene with the narrator’s father on the hell path does a good job of highlighting the narrator’s arrogance and blindness, while also showing his insecurity.
-The narrator’s treatment of his sister and father on each path is another way to show the difference in his personality. On the hell path he brutally tortures both of them for pretty much no reason. On the necromancer path he comes to an understanding with his father before his death, and faces his sister with respect. This shows the larger differences between the two pathes as well, on the hell path the Necromancer is petty, vindictive, and insecure, on the necromancer path he’s far from being a good guy, but his pursuit of power is out of something more pure and dispassionate, allowing him to reach an understanding with his family, even if their goals are unequivocally opposed.
-The epilogue to the hell path is quite well written.
-I also like the contrast that on the hell path the narrator is actively seeking godhood, but only on the necromancy path can he achieve it.
-Big Red is an excellent character, and used to full effect in this story. Of all the demons, he plays the role of a “true” archetypical demon the most; manipulating from the shadows and striking after being very patient. The reveal at the end that he has been manipulating events the whole time manages both to surprise the reader but also feel preordained; how else could the Necromancer’s associated with hell have ended?
-It’s interesting that the ending where you side with the vampires in the hell path winds up being more positive for yourself and the world than the ending. I like that the game shows the opportunities the Necromancer has to turn away from his conquest.
-I like the way Mr. Demar and Big Red have inverse character arcs. Mr. Demar starts out as a pinacle of knowledge in the dubious side of the academic, but later turns out to be unable to handle the situations he’s created. Big Red gets offed in the first chapter, only to later be revealed to have masterminded the apocalypse in his spare time.
-I like that the Necromancer immobilizes the zombies using a nature spell, something he’s horrible at.
-Another parallel: In the hell arc, the Necromancer starts off alone and winds up surrounded by others. In the necromancy arc, he starts off with lots of allies and ends up alone.
-The jokes about all the necromancers previous failed attempts at magic are amusing.
-In general, I like the way EndMaster handles vampires in his stories. Like elves, they’re one of the fantasy creatues that it’s very easy to write in a cliche or irritating manner. However, the vampires in these stories are written in a self-aware fasion, emphasizing the inhuman aspects rather than the human ones.
-I like the inclusion of time magic. As this is a story about necromancy, it never takes center stage, but the effects we are allowed to see are intriguing and show the reader where necromancy fits in in the world of magic. It also makes a good and unusual challenge for the Necromancer to face.
-I like the reltionship between Catalina and the Necromancer better after they’re together. It’s not really clear why she changes her mind about him during the coutship stage, but once they are together, they make good partners.
-The Ghoul King is done well. He makes an unusual and fun ally in the early parts of the game. His later betrayal makes sense given what we know of his character, and does a good job showing the changing circumstances for the Necromancer.
-It’s interesting that the Necromancer is in denial about his desire to kill everything for a long time.
-The scene where the Necromancer becomes the Great Lich Lord is well done.
-The Necromancer’s increasing exhaustion and lack of emotion throughout the necromancy path is a good way to track his gradually losing his humanity and becoming a personification of death.
-The final chapter of the necromancy arc is largely about whether or not the Necromancer is fully committed to his path of death. I like that many of the endings where he turns away are allowed to be positive, as this is realisitc.
-It seems odd that your mom says “as was predicted” regardless of what you choose.
-The final scene where the Necromancer leaves the world is quite well-written, capturing the sense of epicness and scale that the story has been building to up to this point.
Grammar
Mastery of Language
There are a number of sentence structuring issues, particularly in the beginning of the story. At times, these contribute to the conversational tone.
One thing that’s notable about this story is that the writing and style improves noticably as the story goes on, to the extent that it might well be deliberate. It certainly does a good job of illustrating the changes in the scope of the story, the changes to the narrator, and the changes to the world, as the seriousness of the events is mirrored by the language and phrasing used.
Branching
Not great, the story only has two major pathways. This isn’t a problem, as the story states up front it’s more “story” than “game”.
Player Options/fair choice
Fair choice is pretty good, the consequences of actions are well-foreshadowed. The player options aren’t great, as the story only has two official endings and a single choice at the beginning determines which one the player is on track for. This isn’t a problem, as the story states up front it’s fairly linear.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: I played through the necromancy path when I first played a few years ago.
CONCLUSION: An well-written and entertaining game that brings an impressive sense of scope to the reader’s journey.
The Pure, The Vile, and The Deadly, March 14, 2022General Recommendation: I recommend this game, though you should definitely read all of EndMaster’s other games before this one, as there are a lot of references. All the paths are enjoyable on their own, but they really shine when you can appreciate the depth and history that went into each of them.
Preview: Get a closer look into the heads, lives, and fates of three major characters from EndMaster’s other works.
=SPOILERS BELOW=
General notes:
These stories are most notable for the way they fit into the extended universe of EndMaster’s stories. The Pure tells the story of what Tanya has been up to since her appearance in Rogues, The Vile follows Semra’s fate after the events of Eternal, and The Deadly gives us more insight into the character of Catalina. While there have always been connections and references between EndMaster’s works (such as the harbinger ending of Eternal and epilogue 16 of SSS), this collections takes a big step forwards in tying the disparate stories together into a cohesive narrative. These stories give the reader the kind of enjoyment that can only be had from full immersion in a complex and interconnected world. Not many authors have connected universes expansive enough to support a story like this.
One character unites all these stories: Big Red, the demon first introduced in Necromancer. In The Pure he is the story’s instigator, bringing Tanya to the realm of the ancients and then disappearing, leaving the reader wondering how he is tied up in all these events. We know him to be a master manipulator, but also know him to be against the “ancients”, so his involvement here is an enigma. His involvement in The Vile is more clear cut, he’s taking advantage of Evigrus’s destruction to try and nab a bunch of valuable svelk souls. The transparency of his involvement here is what eventually allows him to be outwitted in this path. His role in The Deadly is the least involved, with him simply nudging Catalina towards necromancy. Unlike Tanya, who fights him, and Semra, who deals with him, Catalina simply refuses to engage with Big Red, and they go their seperate ways.
The Pure:
This story feels like a prologue in a lot of ways. We’re given a snapshot of a character and a setting, and are introduced to a new and unusual conflict. It’s clear that this conflict is only just beginning, and that the characters really have no idea what they’re going to be facing here. It’s just the tip of the iceberg in what is sure to be an epic struggle. This is especially true when this story is fitted in with the other stories set in EndMaster’s extended universe, such as “eterpia”. It feels as if some larger story is brewing behind the scenes.
Despite being framed as a conflict between infernals and celestials, the real battle here is between law and chaos, with Tanya on the side of law and the celestials having joined with the “ancients” on the side of chaos. Cosmic battles of law vs chaos tend to be more interesting than the traditional good vs evil ones.
The references to other works are done most explicitly in this story, as characters from several different works are brought together by the introduction of an entirely new threat to the EndMaster multiverse, with the promise of future collaborations between them to combat this threat.
The Vile:
An aptly-named story. We follow Semra here, and the ensuing plot is exactly as brutal and depraved as one would expect. Though we don’t learn anything new about Semra’s history or attitude, we get a chance to see her operation style and thought processes, whereas in Eternal she’s always lurking behind the scenes and pulling the strings. Here she’s been backed into a corner and needs to take much more decisive and desperate action.
Of note is the dero’s involvement in this arc. They’re one of the more intriguing races introduced in Eternal, but get very little screen time. In this story, we learn a lot more about their history and culture through Semra’s interaction with one of the more non-traditional dero communities. The worldbuilding surrounding the dero is intriguing.
The Deadly:
Right off the bat, the path with Catalina is far more intimate than either of the previous two paths, with their large-scale conflicts. The path begins by focusing on Catalina’s haphazard childhood and budding necromantic powers. While the other two paths are fast-paced and deal with life-or-death challenges at every turn, this one takes its time, focusing on slowly building up to the events that have shaped Catalina’s life. It really feels like the reader is experienceing the full extent of her childhood on this path, and it’s fun to pick up on the details that later resurface in Necromancer.
Catalina is not an avatar of death gifted with fantastic necromancy powers. She has a talent, but it’s not the god-like ability Azreal has. This makes the tone of this story quite different than the tone of Necromancer. As Catalina, the player has to be more crafty, relying on a variety of skills and intelligence rather than the brute-force magic that Azreal can get by on. It’s a refreshinig angle to view the plot of Necromancer from.
Oddly, though Catalina’s view on her life is ultimately triumphant, the plot could very easily be interpreted as her defeat and surrender. She intends to lead the dark order, but instead falls for Azreal and allows his goals and ambitions to eclipse her own, leading to her death and the death of the world. Catalina does not view this as defeat, however. Her view is best summed up in her words to the musician; she sees what is happening as inevitable and beautiful, the natural order of things. It’s particularly interesting to see a character take this attitude in the choose-your-own-adventure format, as characters in these formats tend to be more proactive.
Specific notes:
-Starting Tanya’s path off with a scene from Sinthinia’s perspective is an interesting choice. It does a good job setting the scene and characterizing the main character from an outsider’s perspective, which is good, as the reader isn’t immediately supposed to know who this is.
-Tanya’s dislike for promiscuity is interesting, since she didn’t seem to have anything specific against it in Rogues. Probably a reaction to her nature as a succubus.
-Tanya’s dislike for the name “mistress” compared with Semra, another of this game’s narrator’s use for it is an amusing contrast.
-I like the attention being given to the internal politics in Tanya’s army.
-I bet Tanya and Francis would get along, actually, if they were serving in the same military.
-Engan does a good job coming across as nonthreatening initially.
-The weirdness of the town is built up slowly and effectively. The first part of this story is suspenseful, and makes the action in the second half more exciting.
-The concept of a plane where harming others is impossible and entrapment can only be done through trickery is interesting.
-Walking backwards to find the door is a good detail that adds to the growing weirdness and uneasiness.
-The angels all have mixed feelings about Tanya’s ability to kill them. I like that they’re not just a monolith, and that many of them have grown to regret coming here, such as the celestial who tells Tanya to warn the other realms.
-We learn just enough about these “ancients” through Engan to see what a threat they are.
-“You’re going to a dark place and I’m going to enjoy putting you there” is repeated across a couple different stories and branches. I wonder what the significance to it is?
-I like the order vs chaos dynamics in this story, especially since the ordered protagonist is non-traditional.
-It’s too bad Arash doesn’t live, I would have liked to see him survive. His death is important however, since it shows important factors about Tanya’s character, and is a good event to focus the final scene around.
-Tanya’s relationship with Zel is another good way to frame the story’s beginning and end, and show the kind of change she’s trying to make in the infernal realm.
-Tanya is another example of a lawful protagonist done well. It’s interesting to see an infernal committed more to the “lawful” side than the “evil” side, and brings new dimensions to the conflict in hell.
-The final scene’s focus on Tanya and Aron works well to end on a more personal note.
-The eldritch threat faced here feels appropriately alien, but it helps that it has been seen before in other EndMaster games, such as in Necromancer and Death Song, and the torment ending of Eternal. Coming completely out of the blue would feel unforeshadowed, instead the threat is one the player has been semi-aware of for some time, but possibly underestimated.
-I like that not all the non-canon endings end in death, and that some of the non-canon branches earlier in the story go deeper than just a single choice.
-Though Tanya’s conversation with Sinthinia is non-canon, it offers insight into the conflict between them that we don’t get on the main path. It also raises questions about Big Red, which the main path doesn’t have time to address.
-Semra’s behavior around her own kind is no different than her behavior arouund Francis, which manages to be both surprising and make sense. The opening scene does a good job reminding the player exactly how unstable she is, while also reminding them of her obsession with Francis.
-It’s spelled “Derro” in Eternal but “Dero” in this game.
-Marzost is a well-developed character. He’s an unusual dero and throws Semra off her game somewhat. He’s reasonably intelligent in his pursuit of saving his people, and his attraction to Semra is logical (though still fucked up) given what we learn about him. He adds variety to the dero race. Like a lot of EndMaster characters, I’m left feeling unsure about whether or not to pity him. He’s certainly a pitiable character given his history and what happens to him, but he’s done a lot of bad things too.
-Of course “beating around the baby” is a svelk idiom.
-The scene where Semra learns of Francis’s death, and her ongoing thoughts of him, do a good job showing her continued obsession with him.
-I’d like to note that one thing EndMaster does well in all his works is creating evil characters with realistic goals. None of the villains are just committing crime and murder for the hell of it, they all have reasonable motivations and things they’re trying to achieve. This is especially true with Semra.
-Thoguh Semra does really want to help her people, saving her own neck comes first and it doesn’t take much for her to throw them under the bus.
-The implications of the dero being soulless are fascinating. It’s used well as a device in this story, fits with what we know of them from Eternal, and is an intriguing worldbuilding element.
-The sex scene betwen Semra and Marzost is one of the most brutally violent things I’ve read. Even if it’s not a genre I like, I can tell it’s excellently done, and the full brutality of the situation is made clear to the player. It takes skill to pull of a scene like this without it being needlessly gratuitous.
-The loophole Semra exploits to get out of selling her soul is a clever one that’s set up efficiently in the story beforehand.
-It’s a pity that Semra survives in the canon ending. I shudder to think of the poor people of the world from Rogues she’s been released on.
-The depth of the non-canon branches is good.
-The Necromancer saying “you’re just mean and I don’t like you” to Semra is amusing and satisfying.
-The beginning of The Deadly does a good job setting the scene and characterizing the narrator (who I assume is Catalina). Telling this story flasback-style is interesting. It’s an original way to frame the story, and it helps solve the issue of playing a game as a character whose story has already been told somewhere else.
-The opening scene with the butterflies also does a good job setting the scene. We see the prosperous urban/magical city of Nuro, and we see Catalina’s less fortunate upbringing in it. Despite her young age, we can see she’s already attracting death.
-Interesting to see things from child Catalina’s persepctive.
-Chloe’s presence is important on this path, giving Catalina a peer to talk to. Also it’s always fun to see orcish characters in heroic roles.
-I like that the development of Catalina’s powers is taken slowly. While the Necromancer learns necromancy with ease, it takes Catalina time and effort.
-It’s nice to see a fictional orphanage that seems to be actually trying to help the children who live there.
-The relationship and goodbye scene with Catalina and Ms. Olga is touching.
-I like the way this game is divided into sections (Growing, changing, seeking, etc.)
-Magic users being identifiable by their smell is an interesting concept.
-Including Catalina’s liking of music here is a good detail to connect it to Death Song.
-It was clear that Alec had some ulterior motive here.
-Amusing that Catalina goes out to try and get laid and instead ends up killing a vampire. Necrophilia is so much less complicated.
-It’s fun to see the politics behind the Dark Order from Catalina’s perspective. Azreal was always a bit of an outsider, and never got to learn the mechanics behind it in as much detail. Good to see Mr. Demar be a bit more rounded out.
-I like that Catalina relies on nature magic too in dire situations. She’s a well rounded magic user.
-Not surprised to learn that Catalina fully plans on controlling Azreal from behind the scenes.
-Lol, “Yes, I’m fine, I’m just dead.”
-Makes sense that dead Azreal isn’t that interested in sex anymore. It shows how he’s transforming into a personification of death.
-Lol, “I mean, other than genocide, what have I done?”
-It’s good that the scene with the musician in Death Song isn’t ignored, but also good that it’s not given as much attention, since it isn’t the focus of this arc.
-I like the way the framing device is used for the non-canon endings on the Catalina path. People often have elaborate daydreams and musings about how life could have played out, and one can imagine these experiences would be all the more intense for a ghost. The surreal way in which reality breaks down at each non-canon ending emphasizes the dream-like nature of the entire path.
Grammar
Generally good.
Mastery of Language
Generally good, though there are a few proofreading/sentence structure issues in places.
Branching
Not great, each story has one canon ending, and reaching it is a victory. This is more like reading a set of linear stories with the added challenge of trying to survive. It's not a problem, though, since the reader is made aware of the story's somewhat linear nature beforehand.
Player Options/fair choice
Generally good, the consequences of actions are foreshadowed and don’t feel random or unearned.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I did alright when I first played The Pure, though I did better in the second half than the first half.
I didn’t enjoy The Vile as much as The Pure, just a little too sexually violent for my taste. I did alright in terms of not dyring.
I did better than usual on The Deadly, only dying a couple times.
CONCLUSION: Another fine example of EndMaster's work, and a rare example of the depth of an extended universe being explored for full reader benefit, immersion, and enjoyment.
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