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Needs work, March 6, 2013
This game is... terrible. I'm sorry, but it was extremely hard to follow and it had quite a few spelling errors. Also, you have to tell the person playing in what direction everything is in order for them to be able to navigate correctly, not having to press every direction trying to find a way out. The story line was not explained in any way shape or form, and there was no way of telling where you had to go, or what you had to do. There are a few ways to make this into a good story, however. First, you need to add a better story, explain it more, add a couple notes here and there, telling the person where to go. Secondly, try adding more directional signs, describing the scene is not enough, tell them where they can exit and give some clue as to what they're suppose to do. Last thing I'm going to say, please fix the errors in the coding, some of the context makes absolutely no sense in terms to the items being picked up, 'You open the backpack, revealing tin box, TaB, snack, a towel, vase and wallet.' is not the correct way to phrase that command. You have the potential to become a great IF author, just try to fix a few things, like going into detail what the item is what what it does.
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