A Pirate's Life for Me

Hazarding a guess without reading the reviews/comments, solely by inferring to the title, I expected to read a grimdark realistic depiction of the pirate's life or a fantastically adventurous one, yet in no way did I expect to play the role of an incompetent lucky bas**** of a captain, blessed with a competent crew to make up for his flaws 😂

Plot

As summed up above, the plot itself is about an incompetent pirate captain with a competent crew (surprisingly realistic depiction of most governments nowadays). The plot starts with an enemy ship being noticed and the choice between fight or flight is presented, which leads to some interesting and very different routes. Recklessness (stupidity) or cowardice are the sure way to your demise, one of them being a direct cause to your crew finally being fed up with you. Death by stupidity, crew mutiny and distrust or foolish "bravery": Take your pick😄

Surprisingly, there is quite a bit of lore in spite of how short the routes feel (talking about the escape route). From caves filled with traps to a dragon and from a forest to a temple, there are death traps galore. As for the "fight" route, well, you either fight like the filthy pirate captain you are and win, or encourage your crew from a safe distance and see where that will get you. But the fighting scenes are quite simplistic and entertaining.

If you are looking for the usual signs of reaching the epilogue as in, having a giant neon sign pointing out "Epilogue", then this ain't it.

Branching

Well, I did touch upon the branching a bit, but the main idea is that there is a fair amount of branching for a story of this size. The main branches (who don't intersect at any point)are linked to the very first choices, and further down, they have the next subbranches: Common sense/Coward vs Dumb/Reckless/Filthy pirate.

Characters

The captain: The protagonist. When I say he is one lucky bas****, I'm not joking. He seems to be dumber than a rock and an utterly inept captain, as narrated, but still manages to get out of sticky situation in the classic Jack Sparrow style, at least in the "win" routes.
The crew: Annoyed and grumbling with each decision the captain makes, seemingly at the end of their rope. If you wonder why they put up with the dimwit, it's because he manages to pull successful stunts once in a while, which makes them rich. What can you expect from a pirate after all.

Writing

The story is narrated through a second-person POV and the writing style is characterized by its witty narration and humorous tone, effectively showing how much the writer loves to make fun of the captain. The descriptions were concise, simplistic and straightforward making it easier and more fun to read.

Unfortunately, the transition between passages didn't feel smooth and there were problems with the pacing being too fast. The story, as it is, feels way too bare-bones for it to be called complete.