Mammoth Vacuum Button of Death

I am sitting on a red and black checkered blanket in the middle of a beautiful meadow. A giant (i.e. the size of your ugly gut) cake waits infront of me. For no explainable reason whatsoever, a note has been left on the cake. It reads ’THERE WILL BE CAKE, SO YOU SHOULD EAT IT. From Father’. Blatant Portal (TM) reference aside, I reckon ’Father’ is onto something. Any excuse to eat cake right?