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Review
The story was fairly decent, I love the concept at least. I have a thing where I tend to imagine myself in the situation I'm reading about. It wasn't difficult to do with this story. So concept-wise, I liked. Character-wise, I enjoyed overall, I liked the relationship between the MC/Iris and how different their personalities were.
Proofreading wise, it seemed fine but I did notice one big thing;
"Noticeable" in the first couple of sentences is spelled "noticable"
and it happens once again later on in the story too.
My only complaint is that it was a bit rough to read. Maybe it's cause I'm more new to the IFDB method but it seems like every other paragraph led to a page break. I tend to be more used to reading articles and longer form things like that so having to click 'next' every few sentences towards the middle did make it a bit rougher to read, but it was fine overall in that sense. If I had to be nitpicky, perhaps a few more options for the story would have been good too.
All in all, I enjoyed it, took me a few hours to get through, but it was a good work overall!
