Please remain calm

Please Remain Calm is an AI-powered comedy escape room set aboard an alien spacecraft.
You have been placed inside a suspiciously human-friendly assessment chamber containing a locked door, an obvious key, some departure paperwork, a pressure mat, and a completely motionless alien adviser who gives consistently terrible advice.
Unlike a traditional text adventure, there are no fixed commands or limited choices. You can type almost anything you want to attempt. Combine objects, lie to the aliens, exploit their bureaucracy, invent unnecessary schemes, or solve simple problems in the most complicated way possible.
The more specific and creative your actions are, the more detailed the AI’s response becomes. Clever ideas earn Innovation points. Spectacularly poor decisions earn Stupidity points. Occasionally, an action manages to earn both.
Throughout the game, a hostile alien narrator observes your performance, questions your intelligence, and gradually loses what little respect it had for humanity.
Features include:
Free-text AI interaction
Point-and-click room reference
Multiple possible escape methods
Innovation and Stupidity scoring
A deeply unhelpful alien adviser
A narrator that actively dislikes you
Please Remain Calm is a short, replayable experiment in AI-driven interactive fiction, improvised puzzle-solving, and unnecessary human confidence.