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Review

Suck It, Stuff-of-Nightmares, June 22, 2026
Related reviews: Spring Thing 2026

Adapted from a SpringThing26 Review

Played: 4/14/26
Playtime: 30min, 5 playthroughs (4x2, 1x3 captured)

Cryptids are Horror adjacent. While the world is large, and there are more things in heaven and earth than dreamt of in philosophies (Horatio knows what I’m talking about), cryptids occupy the twilight intersection of folklore, the thrill of the unknown, and monsters-among-us. Certainly Horror entertainment has embraced them as fodder, and this work’s outre creations lean hard into that. This work plays to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer tradition of turning the human-victim/monster-marauder dynamic on its head. As the title plainly states, we are a HUNTER of cryptids. Suck it, stuff-of-nightmares!

The game is conceived as a contract for the titular protagonist: search out and capture 3 cryptids with specific characteristics for your employer. It is somewhere between an interesting challenge and a flaw that I found it so hard to do. The characteristics requested are clear enough, its just the cryptid descriptions only laterally map to many of them. It requires some logical leaps that are as often wrong as rewarded. Am I dumb or is the game obtuse? Both? It took me five repeats before I could assemble the requested bunch. The game is small enough, and the pantheon distinct enough, that iterations aren’t a chore.

As gameplay it was pretty trial-and-error. The showpiece of the work are the creature creations, and accompanying illustrations. I really liked them! 5/6 of them were unsettling, monstrous and wildly unique. (One was (Spoiler - click to show)a horse. Hey, at least it wasn’t redundant!) Their design is doing a lot of the Horror-adjacent work, as the actual captures were somewhat anti-climatic. Our resourceful protag has all the needed tools, and is never really in any danger. Thankfully, the creature designs stand on their own and carry the piece’s dramatic load. Even after a few iterations when their novelty is reduced.

This work is short, non-obvious and moody and successfully pulled my ‘replay’ levers until I managed to collect all 3. So the ending. The ending was not a surprise to me. It kind of telegraphed itself during the initial contract setup. There’s a line between subtle clue dropping and hamfisted foreshadowing, and this work was WAAY over it. So much so, I knew how I wanted to respond well before the work copped to its conceit. Sure enough, desired option available! I liked the IMPULSE of it, just found the implementation a bit too obvious to enthrall.

So what do I make of an unsatisfyingly difficult puzzle, in service of a telegraphed plot twist, with really cool monster designs? I’m sorry, all I heard was “hrma-grma-zrma REALLY COOL MONSTER DESIGNS.” Does my tunnel vision not surprise you? Moth Man may be an existential mystery of primal unknowability. Your humble reviewer, not so much.

Spaceship: Nostromo
Vibe: Vegan Curious
Polish: Smooth
Gimme the Wheel! : If this were my work, I think I would more tightly bury the twist. Use more indirect adverbs to convey the suspect nature of the mission, but not its character. It’s a worn but not worn-out premise, and would breath better as a bigger surprise.

Polish scale: Gleaming, Smooth, Textured, Rough, Distressed
Gimme the Wheel: What I would do next, if it were my project.

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