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About the Story
The air conditioners were on full blast in the Tactical Operations Center (TOC) despite the cold wind that whipped around the bottom of the tent flaps. The dozens of computers that were scattered around the room were kicking off so much heat that the soldiers were all in t-shirts. Remedy Jackson, one of the Division's intel analysts, sat with his feet propped up on a storage canister.
Language: English (en)
First Publication Date: January 23, 2017
Current Version: Unknown
License: Creative Commons
Development System: Twine
Forgiveness Rating: Polite
Followed by sequel Another Color of Hope (Chapter 2), by Kristan J. Wheaton
|Average Rating: |
Number of Reviews: 2
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Very well written and detailed. I could picture the scene clearly as both soldiers discussed the dream and what I imagined the dream to look like. The only little piece I'd like to offer is I think it would be better if there was a footer that said how many pages remain until the end of the chapter. I say that because I found myself hurrying through the readings because I only had about 20 minutes to spend and I didn't know how long the chapter was. It caused me to spend less time focusing on the meanings of the gems and rubies which I'm assuming is part of the lesson, or at least important in making the proper selection to progress the story. Had I known how much more was left in the chapter I would have slowed down to really try and paint a clearer picture of what the tablet and rubies/gems sequence looked like. Along that vein, any pictures of what the tablet looks like would also be helpful in visualizing the story.
I understand this might not even be feasible given the opportunities for changes in how much reading remains depending on which option is chosen, but something even along the lines of a % completed per chapter might help. Just my first impression. But I did like the story and I'm interested to see what else happens.
Being in the same field as the author, I played the game within the context of an educational tool, which is definitely an advantage over someone with fresh eyes. I found myself questioning the use of the tablet as something to rely completely on at first, but after the second decision, I began relying on it almost exclusively. I experienced a sense of complacency after having the tablet work once or twice up to this point, and I would not have consciously sought other information to help make my decision at this point in the game. The only suggestion I have is just to add some visuals (and I know that depends a lot on the capabilities of the program). I highly recommend some sort of background that pertains to the scene you are describing. Overall, I was able to learn something about myself and see that there was, in fact, a method to his madness. I encourage anyone who is in a critical thinking and decision-making profession to choose this adventure.
|Another Color of Hope (Chapter 2), by Kristan J. Wheaton|
Average member rating: (1 rating)
Excerpt: The first round was a lucky shot. It landed squarely on the TOC, blowing a hole in the overhead cover. Subsequent rounds landed outside but the hole allowed shrapnel and debris to rip through the air around the soldiers. Jackson...
|Worldsmith, by Ade McT|
Average member rating: (29 ratings)
The Septem Tower has held steady in the Manifold, the space between time and the Real, for billenia. Populating the Tower are the Anemoi, a race of beings so far advanced that they hold the power of life and death over all Lifeforms in...