Go to the game's main page
Review
There were a few things that threw me off from enjoying this, but my main concern was the use of "retarded." I understand that this could be written off as contemporary character slang, but I felt like its current usage is jarring and in rather poor taste. There would be many other words that could have the same effect without carrying the heavy negative and rather triggering connotations associated.
Aside from that, the only other thing that was slightly off-putting was the insertion of a enraged dragon character who seems to be so easily swayed from their intense negative disposition towards an oppressive race that is actively destroying dragons and the planet's resources by a member of that same race. Especially since this exact idea is used to justify post-colonialism/imperialistic ideologies, it just doesn't seem rather convincing.
But the concept itself is a very powerful one when executed well, and the work here itself was well written. It would be great to bounce these stories off of other people and get their opinions on subject matter and different ways to explore concepts like this!
Comments on this review
Previous | << 1 >> | Next
Hey Keyra, This is the author. Thanks for the comment, I'm glad you (mostly) enjoyed it :D
I'm sorry about the use of "retarded" - I wasn't actually originally intending to publish this so I didn't even think of the fact that it might be offensive to anyone. I was just thinking of the sort of vocabulary the high school kid you're playing as would use, and I was trying to make him sound in character.
I also realize about how unrealistic the dragon character was. A lot of stuff in this story is somewhat unfinished and very implausible. It's the first interactive story I've written so I was just trying to get a feel for how it's done. I'm intending to continue working on this story and fleshing it out more when I have time!
Anyway, thanks for the feedback. Glad you liked the concept! ^o^
