Pick Up The Phone Booth And Die

Beautiful. From the very moment that I opened up the game, to its emotional ending, I felt a strong connection to this game. I was horrified at parts, and elated at others. I cannot believe the beauty this game has bestowed upon us as a species. I cannot fathom a singular game ever being as wonderful as this. I am deeply shocked by the vast plurality of reviews, lying and claiming this game to not be worthy of its deeply-deserved praise. 5 stars, truly a miracle for the whole human race. /j

(Spoiler - click to show)Obviously, this whole review is a joke (like this supposed "game"), and will not count towards the total. The game is literally what it says; you pick up the phone and die within one command and one room. It's hardly even a surprise, and only if you magically forget to read the title, description, or even reviews of this game. Genuinely, who came up with this game? It makes no sense, and it's absurd, but its novelty wears off faster than I'd even be able to describe. In fact, I think there needs to be a measurement of time to describe how long you'd actually want to play this so-called "game" for, and then 10 more to fill in the gaps between that and the smallest standard measurement. I am being fully serious here, but the "game" can be speed-ran in under a second with copy & paste. Please, spend the millionth of a second you'd beat this in on something else actually worth your energy. Nothing against the author, just wanted to point out how ridiculous this game really is. Still a work of art worthy of praise. I'll see myself out now, okay?