Maddie Teases

Folks, we’ve had a good run. Across five Lewd Mod reviews, I like to think I’ve provided some insight and entertainment, from the early days when I was incredulous at how everybody lacked eyes and acted like horny robots, all the way through to the belated realization, in my No Butts review, of what the premise of this series actually is. But with installment number six, I fear the well has run dry. Maddie Teases is extruded Lewd Mod product, and after two years of familiarity with how these things work, I’ve grown too jaded to have any real reaction.

Like, our coworker texts us out of the blue to say she’s going to send us increasingly-risque selfies to workshop the hottest ones to send to her boyfriend, and won’t take no for an answer? Been there, done that. Our all-caps dialogue options read like they were written by someone high on paint thinner? Of course, how else do people talk. The naked drawings omit all facial features except mouths and eyebrows? Wake me when something interesting is happening.

Reader, I tried to come up with something interesting to say here. I even played twice, role-playing a total horn-dog the first time and a complete cold fish the second. Typically in this series the latter is a surefire recipe for hilarity, as the half-naked lady steamrolls your diffidence and non-sequiturs, but this time that too was a damp squib, just terminating proceedings at the PG-13 level without any bonkers miscommunications along the way.

So yeah, after playing Maddie Teases, I was bored, but also, I confess, disappointed – and hopeful that when next year’s Review-a-Thon rolls around and the author inevitably enters another brace of demos and excerpts from the extended Lewd Mod cinematic universe, they’ll boast enough novelty or demented titillation to perk up my interest again. I recognize this is a very bad sign, inasmuch as I’m now in the position of someone whose tolerance to their intoxicant of choice has gotten sufficiently robust that they need harder and harder stuff to feel anything. But here we are: I’m too benumbed for an experience like this to register anymore, but maybe if I keep chasing the green fairy, I can recapture what it felt like in those first days…