Ratings and Reviews by Lance Cirone
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Mr. Jock, TV quiz PhD, bags few lynx, March 29, 2024I'm a fan of wordplay games, so it's only natural that I'd end up liking Letters from Home. It took me a bit of time to understand what I was really supposed to do, but the catch here is that you need to collect letters around an old mansion that's being moved out. To give a few examples from the game, (Spoiler - click to show)taking the "F" that signals Fahrenheit on a thermometer, plucking one of the roman numerals out of a date, or working out homophones like "sea" vs. "C".
Once you've found all of these, you get to solve a cryptic crossword. The clues you get are things like (Spoiler - click to show)"Confused DJ was a KC; that's for the birds. (8)" and "Crystal units of volume, we hear. (6)". I was pretty confused, but the logic does make sense if you think about it in an unconventional way.
Strangely enough, the weaker parts of the game have nothing to do with the homophones or pangrams, but are the standard adventure game-type puzzles. You get an array of standard verbs like JUMP, PUSH, and SEARCH that are used sparingly but easy to forget about. One puzzle has you needing to reach something high up, and the solution is to (Spoiler - click to show)push a bicycle in from another room and stand on that, while another one involving retrieving something from a small crack on the floor involves (Spoiler - click to show)jumping to send it up, then putting a pad of paper (specifically this, nothing else) over the crack to catch it. While the game has a lot of items and rooms, things you don't need to bring elsewhere will be left behind in the rooms after you solve their puzzles, which is a nice detail.
There is one thing that you can lock yourself out of, though, and it's (Spoiler - click to show)one of the crossword clues. I was pretty discouraged to realize this, so a warning to new players: (Spoiler - click to show)don't take the yew tree until you're sure you've done everything with it.
Still, I enjoyed my playthrough overall. While many of the puzzles can rely on esoteric knowledge, that's kind of a given if you're even interested in a game like this. There is also a very detailed hint system, with Invisiclues-style hints that get more direct as you go down the list, so don't be afraid to use it as you play.
Zany to the max, March 26, 2024Toonesia knows what it wants to be and isn't anything more than that. It's not a criticism with the game, it's a fun (albeit short) puzzle sequence consisting of loads of references to classic Looney Tunes. You play as hunter Elmo Fuld, hunting down Bud Bunny and running into a Tasmanian devil and a daffy duck. Even if you've only seen a few of the cartoons, there's still plenty of the classic tropes to laugh at here, with variations on all kinds of running gags. I didn't find the linear structure to be as big a problem as I was afraid it would be. The only real problem I had with the game was the described directions sometimes being reversed, which misled me a couple of times. I'd recommend it if you're looking for something light and quick, with a lot of cartoon logic.
I just don't know the words / or how to conjugate them, March 25, 2024There's a specific style to Emily Short's games that I really like, and it's inspired plenty of my own writing. Just this dry, bleak tone, how everything can pass by without being given too much notice. The descriptions that manage to say so much in just a few words. The way characters with differing outlooks to the protagonists are portrayed. Bee, a story about a homeschooled, religious girl with dreams of winning the spelling bee, is even more of the greatness I've been expecting.
Bee gives you a few stats to keep track of. Obviously, you want to study frequently and raise your spelling skills, which have the helpful effect of eliminating wrong answer choices for the player during the spelling bees later on. But you also have a motivation counter, reminding you to take a step back and ask why you're really going for this. Your parents are aware of the stigma against homeschooled children and they want you to be on the national media, showing that your family and your fellow homeschoolers are worth something. Other challenges the protagonist grapples with include games and chores with the family, trying to support her younger sister Lettice, celebrating denominational holidays, a crush on a local boy named Jerome, and meeting various neighbors whose unfamiliar lifestyles lead to dissatisfaction.
As Bee goes on, the protagonist's outlook on life changes. She's no longer dreaming of the almost superhuman feats of language mastery she's wanted. She spaces out during her lessons, pays less attention while tutoring, idly doodles on her notecard. Her daydreams consist of wondering how Cinderella ever escaped her situation, and what kind of freedom she'll have once she finally finishes the contest. In one particularly effective vignette, she forces herself to trudge back and forth through heavy snow, the cold being the only thing that can keep her awake as she finishes her word list top to bottom. She loses motivation and realizes that she's only doing what her parents want of her. By this point, she gets an English tutor who is "some form of heretic" (not atheist, but possibly agnostic) and is pursuing Jerome in private.
The overall tone just gets increasingly disinterested as the game goes on. Studying your word list in the later segments will get you this: "All those words on your lists are like tokens of a life outside, beyond these walls; of a variety and diversity of human life; and you are not allowed to know any of it. For now. You'll get out. Eventually. It has to get better." Even the final segment consists of two challenges, one of which goes by in a blur (you don't even remember what the word is), and then the next. The protagonist gets second place, but her parents are still proud of her. This hollow appreciation leaves her unfulfilled -- what was the point of all that studying if she doesn't feel any accomplishment? Will failure ever stop being okay?
I only got one of the four endings, but considering how stories like Best of Three go, I can't imagine the others being too much happier. With a simple gameplay loop, a few stats that are a nice balance to manage, and the engaging prose and meaningful decisions that direct the protagonist's attitude, this game won me over on the Choice of Games format. One of the best.
Awesome stylistic parody... with no ending, February 25, 2024Fine-Tuned has an incredibly fun vibe to it. From the character names, to the descriptions, it feels like a classic action movie. You are adventurer Troy Sterling, driving with your inventor companion Aloysius in your awesome car. Soon after, you are harassed by anti-auto farmer MacDougal, whom you accidentally send flying into a ditch. Once you save him, he relinquishes his duty to pick up Melody Sweet from the train station.
In the second part of the game, you play as Melody, as ancient history professor Sneedlemeyer gives you an artifact, which your opera singing skills might be able to unlock the secret to. It's a bit hard to figure out what your goal is, but the puzzles do make sense and it's fun to see Melody's singing talent integrated into them.
In the third part, (Spoiler - click to show)you play as Troy again. You have to investigate Sneedlemeyer's house, plotting in advance how you're going to deal with your arch-enemy, the glass-eyed Salomonder, who has come to hold everyone hostage.
The fourth and final part has (Spoiler - click to show)you as Melody as you have to solve your way out of the hostage situation. Next, your goal is to chase the Salomonder down before he can board a train and beat you to the museum. I was totally on board for this, and then:
"Your little party is ready for the final showdown. The motors roar thrillingly... [press any key] (To Be Continued...)"
The game has no conclusion. I will admit it ended on a heartwarming final scene, (Spoiler - click to show)Melody and Aloysius together, singing along to the song that started Melody's opera career, but it does sting knowing there's no follow-up to it. Right before what would have undoubtedly been the most exciting part of the game, too!
Even if the game is cut short, I think it's a good linear story as it is. The puzzles aren't complex and the pace of everything is kept moving at a fast speed. I liked the characters a lot, and there's plenty of well-implemented sequences. The way everyone loves Troy, from the train conductor to children playing around your car and asking you to honk the horn (which you can), he's quite a defined protagonist. Melody has her own unique traits, too, such as an ear for music and a more classy approach to problem-solving. Plus, the Salomonder and his pun-based villainy were cheesy enough to be funny.
Overall, I found the game easy to play, but there were a few oversights. It said the watering trough was empty even after I filled it with water. Similarly, I was able to steal the handle to the hatch of Sneedlemeyer's roof, which I shouldn't be able to. Generally, though, the game is very polished, with the story cutscenes being hard to break the flow of, and plenty of in-character responses are present for nonessential things you might think to do. An unobtrusive scoring system also rewards exploration. There was clearly a lot of testing going into this, and the author had a clear direction of what tone and style they wanted. In conclusion, I would recommend Fine-Tuned, but don't be caught off-guard when the action ends earlier than you'd expect.
Prehistoric deer hunt, February 4, 2024This is the other 2009 24 Hours of Inform entry. What surprised me is how comprehensive the game is, it really does have a non-default response for most things you try. Even uncommon ideas like eating, drinking, or smelling certain objects will give you specialized responses. Descriptions are particularly short and succinct, and it never feels like you're missing information you need. I thought the caveman theme of the game was a nice change of pace as well. It's impressive for a game that was made in a short span of time, and I definitely prefer it to Semi Intelligent Design.
"Semi-intelligent" is right, February 4, 2024This game was one of the two entries written for the fourth 24 Hours of Inform contest, in 2009. I'm not sure what the deal with the game is, because it seems like two totally different things in one and might not be possible to complete.
In the first half, you work as the housekeeper of a very cranky Senator and have to serve him soup for supper. The puzzle here has some pretty odd implementation: stirring the kettle gives you a message that seems like the soup is ready, but the powder remains. You actually have to pour the boiling water into the cup first, then put the powder into that and stir it. Due to an oversight, you can earn an infinite amount of points by repeating certain actions, and your score is given "out of 0." Also, it's described that a garden is to your west, so I tried to see it, but I got a "you can't go that way" error. To be fair, I did enjoy the sequence where you get bored waiting for the kettle to boil.
Once you serve the soup, the Senator gets mad due to your choice of cup and flavoring, which you presumed he liked. He goes in to attack you, and suddenly the game cuts to something completely baffling. You play a different character locked in a dark room, whose mannerisms and speech bring some kind of ogre to mind. You have to do tough labor to earn your soup. You have a cage with a lump in it that you can't drop or do anything with or else the Senator yells at you for mishandling "testing material", and on the other side of the room is some snarling beast that attacks and kills you if you open the wall. There's also a "special cage" that apparently you can put things in to change them, and the game tells you to clean it, but nothing happened when I did. The soup is stuck on the bottom of the cage, and you can't meaningfully interact with it. I also got a blank message when I tried pressing the round button in the other room. It's a frustrating experience, and it felt like I had exhausted all my options and wasn't getting anywhere.
Restaurant hijinks, January 28, 2024In this game, you run a 1940s theme restaurant, full of amusingly awful items, a band playing non-stop, and a toilet that's more high-tech than a good portion of your kitchen utensils. You are tasked with appeasing a food critic to save your restaurant. Everything that goes wrong can, in a really slapstick comedy way that lends itself to fun puzzles. The scope of the game is well-contained, mainly just focusing on finding things you need to serve your meal, and there's only a handful of rooms.
The quality and frequency of the jokes is the high point of the game. I tried a bunch of different actions and searches, even when I knew they wouldn't work, just to see the responses. Even the name of the restaurant ("Mack n' Geez") made me laugh when I first read it. I also like the added variety for messages that'll show up a lot, such as taking an item or running into a wrong exit. The descriptions of the rooms also change accordingly during the last part of the meal, to reflect the chef's mood. I think I ran into a bug near the end of the game, where (Spoiler - click to show)I couldn't reach for the lobster even though I ran the other two customers out and Mrs. Davenport was distracted, but I still enjoyed it. If you want something light and quick, check this out.
A modern classic, January 25, 2024Never Gives Up Her Dead is a massive puzzler reliant on multiple set pieces, all tied together with an intriguing concept. The game openly states at the beginning that the protagonist, Emrys, is going to die at the end. I was initially conflicted about this idea. I was worried that it would make the game too much of a downer and detach me from the experience, but it started to make me wonder... how, when, and why would this happen? There is a general sense of hopefulness throughout the main game as you do your best to retrieve stolen items for the rest of your crewmates, lifting their spirits in times of disaster. You don't spend super long with any of the characters, but they serve their purposes well. The game keeps the inevitable ending in the back of your head by revealing more backstory every time you solve a dimension.
The structure of the game ensures that even if you're stuck on a puzzle, it's still fun to play and feel like you're making progress. If I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere, I'd just shrug off, "maybe I don't have what I need yet" and go to a different dimension. Either I'd come across something that gave me an idea on what to do, or by the time I was ready to return, I'd have some new insight and pick up on something I didn't before. Also, in the style of Cragne Manor, you have an infinite-capacity rucksack you can put items in to cut down on inventory bloat. It's a convenient option to have, especially in the endgame. One feature you get in the midgame is (Spoiler - click to show)an upgrade that lets you detect items that belong to different dimensions, effectively cluing you in on where to use them. You even get to label the dimensions yourself. The first time I used it, I stumbled across an item I didn't even know was free to take and immediately knew what it was for!
The game starts with a really interesting scene. You have a presentation to give, but no time to prepare for it. While you're in the closet to look for the captain's signature jacket, you can grab anything you think might help for your presentation. Emrys's character is introduced when we see how she manages to make something inspiring and thoughtful out of even the most mundane and decidedly garbage objects (such as a toy robot to represent advancements in technology, or a rubber spider that segues into how we face our fears).
Also, only after reflecting on my notes after beating the game did I notice that (Spoiler - click to show)all of these items actually connect to the dimensions later on! One thing this game excels at is contextualizing everything. Nothing is thrown in for the sake of it, and even seemingly disconnected segments do all come together by the end. My favorite instance of this would be (Spoiler - click to show)the ending, where you get to reunite with characters from previous dimensions at a party in your honor. There's also a neat museum segment before it where you get to see how your actions have advanced science, all of them calling back to the previous parts of the games. It's careful writing, giving everything a purpose but not restricting the actual gameplay and ideas.
Going over the gameplay will also require me to spoil some of the special mechanics and gimmicks the areas have. Discovering them was part of the fun for me, so I'd recommend playing the game blind before reading further. I won't give away puzzle solutions, but I will discuss some of them.
The first portal has you visiting (Spoiler - click to show)a sort of therapy/horror combo called Monsters Inside. While there are plenty of monsters, they're more busy with their own personal problems than wanting to scare you. One of my favorite puzzles is trying to find the Pharaoh's cat: he likes "organs, hearts, and teeth", but not in a biological sense like you might think. The second half takes place outside a castle, where you have to find a way up. This was the first place I found, but for some reason, I blanked out on finding the dictionary and thought it would be elsewhere, so this ended up being the last thing I solved.
The wax museum (Spoiler - click to show)challenges you to play cheesy, arcade-style games or solve historical figure-oriented puzzles in each room. I love the atmosphere and how the puzzles blend in with the scenery and statues you come across. I got a good laugh out of some of the jokes here: the incredibly self-congratulatory winners shelf that makes you feel dumb even after you solve a puzzle correctly, the statue of Fish Blade the mime, and the fake-out with the absurdly complicated machine near the end. The puzzles here require some more thinking outside the box than the rest, but everything makes sense if you're looking out for the clues.
My favorite segment would be the train (Spoiler - click to show)murder mystery. You get to interview four different suspects, exploring their flashbacks through mini-puzzles, and writing down clues. If you find a contradiction between two alibis, you can link them together for a new subject to press into further. The dialogue system is very easy to use -- each topic is given a one-word description to identify it, and you can easily look back at conversations you've already had. I love the unique backstories each character has, and how fast new information is revealed. Excellent writing, and a lot of fun to play through. But the fact that it was all part of a game does make me wonder if anything said here was true at all, especially since Maeve is a real person in the ending segment. This was the first dimension I solved, and I smiled at the Maeve/Mefe connection, especially Emrys asking about the rhinestone jumpsuit: "Just thinking of a friend of mine."
Another especially fun segment comes in the Adventureland (Spoiler - click to show)robot fights. Here, you get to program up to five moves for your robots and then take them to an arena. Besides just shooting, you can aim to ensure accuracy, or hide behind scenery so you can't get hit. You also have an ultra-powerful grenade you can use once per battle. There's a lot of strategy to planning out your moves, and it's really exciting to see how it plays out on the field.
The horror caves (Spoiler - click to show)definitely have a different vibe than the rest of the story. You're given a spellbook and have to find scrolls to learn more spells. Some of the descriptions, and the different ways you can die, are incredibly disturbing. Judging by the hint thread, I think this one gave people the most trouble. I had already beta tested this and Adventureland before playing the final game, so I had a good idea of what to do here. Still, a fun segment altogether.
The monument islands (Spoiler - click to show)weren't one of my favorite segments. It's probably just because I missed a key detail about the cannons, and went almost the entire game before I figured out I could solve them. I also ended up getting hardlocked in the library due to an extremely rare bug with the clock that prevented fumigation from ever ending, but I think anyone else should be fine. The calculator puzzle thankfully wasn't as difficult as I expected, since most of the formulas and numbers are given.
The tool dimension (Spoiler - click to show)makes use of a concept I love: getting an ability that unlocks new upgrades over time. The progression here is comparable to Junior Arithmancer, where you have to find shards that will further upgrade your tool. It also gives you an incentive to explore the other dimensions, to find rifts and doors you weren't able to open the first time around. The mini tests and puzzles you get to solve to test out the new tools are alright, too.
The zoo dimension (Spoiler - click to show)is pretty open-ended, where you have to find 11 drone parts by exploring a zoo. You're able to leash some of the animals and bring them to other places, and puzzles like riding the goat or chasing the snake around are enjoyable. It's not too difficult, but the caiman puzzle had me stuck for a while. It's cool to see how many different biomes and animals there are, and the informational signs help out a lot.
The lakeside cabin dimension (Spoiler - click to show)is a pretty simple one, where you have to renovate a cabin and explore a garden. Throughout, you uncover journal pages that give you hints on how to progress and tell you a bit of backstory. I liked this one, it was pretty easy to know what to do with all the tools and pieces, and combining them together was satisfying.
After you clear all nine dimensions, you reach the endgame. (Spoiler - click to show)Here, you learn the true extent of what everything you've done meant. The only thing left is for you to go back and sacrifice yourself in the reactor. The story anticipates that you might not want to do this, with Emrys's available dialogue choices. However, you can also send your guide Arawn in your stead, since the body was burned beyond recognition and it will not mess up the timeline severely. No matter which of the two you choose here, you're sent into the same puzzle chain, from my testing. I like that it incorporates puzzles from Monsters Inside and Adventureland, but combines them together for something new. Getting to talk to your crewmates from the computer as you activate the radiation shields is a bittersweet moment. Going into the core requires a small puzzle, but you turn the valve that ends up killing either you or Arawn. The buildup to this moment was amazing, but I wish there was a bit more to the actual movement. You get a yes/no prompt, a brief description, then a memorial based on what you told Gareth earlier. It just felt a bit anticlimactic after everything. Also, since the contents of the tank were described as molten and there was coolant and water, I was wondering if this was a fake-out ending? Is there more to do after this point, or did I give up too early?
(Spoiler - click to show)The alternate ending is when you destroy the recorder, sending you back into the chaos as you're left scrambling to escape the ship. The atmosphere is a lot darker, and some new areas of the ship open up for puzzles. In this ending, both you and Gareth manage to survive, but many others aboard the ship don't. You and him are then cryogenically frozen, leaving off on the note that your future is finally your own. Seeing the consequences of what would've happened if you didn't seal the rifts is a good concept, but outside of escaped criminal Tiffany, it doesn't amount to much. To summarize, I have minor gripes about the endings, but they doesn't detract from the experience.
It's always nice to have a game that's giant in scope and full of puzzles, but the most important part of Never Gives Up Her Dead for me is that it's always fair. Nothing in it comes off as random or underclued, and I felt like every solution was easily solvable if I just looked around a bit more or thought about the clues from a different perspective. You're able to make progress at a good pace without getting hung up on anything for too long.
The prose deserves special praise, being concise without obscuring necessary detail. It knows what to emphasize, and the language used lets you know how to interact with items without running into parser issues. It's all too easy to overlook this, but when I only had two issues with the parser over the hours I spent typing commands, it's a pretty good sign.
In one sentence, it's a Mathbrush game, so you know it's going to be great.
A 2001 time capsule, January 1, 2024This quick SpeedIF was written under command to include various random topics in a game, which include Hank Buzzcrack, Mother Theresa, T.S. Eliot, the golden banana of discord, and Grant Stern. This game uses Best of Three's engine to cast you as Gustav Schmidt. It's all a little confusing without context. I'm not especially well-versed in IF history and, much like Grant and Gustav, had no idea who Hank Buzzcrack was.
Perhaps the most interesting part is when you ask Grant about his desires:
"Desires? [...] I would like to undo a mistake I made, a mistake of attitude that hurt someone. I would like— many things that are not possible." This seems to be referring to Helen from Best of Three, whom you can also ask about. Much of the gameplay comes down to reading topics from a list to see who gets to take home the golden banana of discord. Still, Grant definitely feels like himself and I enjoyed reading what he had to say.
It's textadventures.co.uk, December 18, 2023This game is supposed to teach you about trumpets, but it's so vaguely described that I don't feel like I got anything out of it. You start off in a Swiss Celtic village and then take a time portal through periods of history to steal trumpets until you return to your own time. This sounds like an interesting premise, but there's barely anything to do or look at in each room. You can die in a few ways, though: one puzzle kills you for not knowing which keys 17th century trumpets can play in, before it teaches you. You can also die if you drop the sword (it lands on your foot) but you can eat it just fine.
After you get all the trumpets and return home, it says "You can tell this time portal will get you to your own time but reflecting on your journey you know so much about the Trumpet you may get you A+ in music history!" It's a nice sentiment, at least.
Man Tries to Sell Insurance to Baroness, You Won't Believe What Happens Next!, December 18, 2023I admit to being a bit turned away by the word "erotic" in this game's summary. Thankfully, the other reviews convinced me to give it a try. The most suggestive parts of the game just come from the character's imagination and the blurry, out-of-focus images of the Baroness in the magazine -- nothing outright graphic or sexual is shown or described.
You're in the waiting room of Baroness Valerie and preparing to sell her insurance. But your eye is drawn to a crooked painting hanging on the wall above the couch, and that bothers you. Fixing this will launch you into a chain reaction of other things going wrong around the house. It's easy to follow and the parser is responsive.
One detail I really liked is that you can get the best ending without needing to earn every point available. I finished with around 47 and still got it. Replaying the game to look for things you've missed is fun, and there are a few obscure ones I stumbled into (such as (Spoiler - click to show)kissing the magazine or (Spoiler - click to show)feeding the fish twice). I do wonder if there's a 100% guide for this game anywhere, though.
Like a few others, I was confused by the lead-in to the ending. I thought it would be a separate puzzle, and there's an aquarium full of water, so I was trying to use that to extinguish the fire. But the best ending is a nice note to go off on.
This is a short puzzler that isn't hard and I definitely enjoyed playing.
I'd build it up just to burn it down, October 6, 2023I beta tested Assembly. In the process, I ran into many wardrobe-related mishaps, proving that "HINDER" was more than living up to its name. But now that everything's ironed out, I'd definitely recommend the game. It takes a mundane setting like an IKEA and manages to make it surprisingly off-putting. The core mechanic is being able to use instruction booklets and furniture parts to build and disassemble pieces of furniture. It's responsive and makes you think about what items you can make to solve certain puzzles. The two ending puzzles are definitely the highlight; it's so exciting when you finally realize "wait, I get to do ''that''"? Ultimately, I had a lot of fun with this one.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, October 3, 2023I got to be a beta tester for Honk!, and the game blew me away.
The game takes place in and around a circus, where the performances are being sabotaged by a mysterious Phantom. You, Lola the Clown, must use your skills (mostly pie-throwing and nose-honking) to put a stop to it. The main portion of the gameplay is figuring out how to work through your circus mates' performances by using the tools you find around the carnival in creative ways. The performances can be solved in any order you want, and each has an engaging and fast-paced puzzle to go with it. You're also given as many chances as you need to get through one, and the respective performers have plenty of hints to offer, so it never feels like you're out of options.
Each of the characters are full of personality. The game shows this through letting you talk to them before, during, and after the performances, explore the inside of their campers, and giving each one unique speaking styles and idle actions. The first puzzle I chose to solve was with Freda the strongwoman, who happens to be your girlfriend. During her final show, lifting up an audience member, the Phantom shows up and turns out to be too heavy even for her. While the solution is inventive and one of the easier segments here, there's also a lot of ways for this to go wrong -- some of them involve hurting Freda, which made me feel guilty and forced me to go back, a testament to just how well this came sold me on its characters.
Ken Lawn's show was easily one of the funniest parts of the game for me, which is saying a lot. Lawn is a goose tamer who tries to have his goose tell a story for the audience (titled The Goose Who Ran Into Traffic And Got Hit By A Car) through hand motions -- but when the Phantom blindfolds the goose before the show, Lola has to use noises to get it to follow along. Lawn's oddly serious, no-nonsense personality contrasted with him desperately gesturing at a blindfolded goose had me laughing even when I was still figuring out the puzzle.
Adagio the magician also has her magic show sabotaged. The Phantom steals her method of escape when she ties herself up and lowers herself into a tank of water, forcing you to think fast and come up with an alternate solution to cut the rope. I liked the solution here a lot: (Spoiler - click to show)it makes use of a lot of small parts you'll probably have noticed, but not known how to put together yet.
This game's jokes also bring it up a lot: multiple lines had me laughing out loud. One highlight would have to be the dialogue when Adagio is about to tell you how her magic trick works. Rather than keep it a secret, you can ask if you can tell Freda. Then Ken, then your boss, then your brothers, then the guy who runs the Monster Manor, then the goose... she says yes to that last one, at least. There's also plenty of fun to be had in throwing pies at whatever you can imagine. Default responses are practically nowhere, as the game responded accordingly to whatever I tried to do during my playthrough -- everything has a bit of extra flavor to it from Lola's perspective.
I don't want to go into the endgame portion too much, but I found it satisfying and everything comes together in the end. The one flaw I had was a janky mechanic involving the circus ring and how hard it was to get back up once you left -- but I hear that this has been addressed since I played it. With all this said, Honk! is a masterclass in working humor, puzzles, and characters I care about all in one easily-accessible package. There's no objectionable content here and nothing is scary, it's very kid-friendly! I'd recommend it to anyone.
Digging deep, July 29, 2023This story relies on the "nothing is scarier" school of thought, and it pulls it off really well. You play the story as an outsider, not knowing your Father's intent for the digging he's been doing for years on end. But you do know the feelings of unease it's caused you, the fact that it made him drift away your mother, and your brother's sentimentality. It's an intriguing story where you do always feel compelled to learn what's going on, and every few scenes introduces a new bit of information that makes you think. I'm not entirely sure what the whole thing was about, but it left me feeling legitimately shaken by the end of it. Definitely worth the hype.
Memorable simulation, July 18, 2023I came across The Evolution of Trust a few years back, and the game's always stuck in my mind since then. It's an interesting little experiment. It uses simple diagrams and characters to illustrate its point, and raises some important questions. How do we learn to trust people, and when does this cycle break? How does miscommunication, people who are inherently dishonest, or copycat behavior change this? It's something that's worth a play for not only the freedom of being able to use all kinds of sliders in the sandbox mode to run simulations, but how you can interpret its message.
Hilarious group chat story, July 4, 2023I really enjoyed this game. It's presented as a traditional Discord conversation between friends: there's some drama over one of your friends scamming another by refusing to fix their solar panel. The comedic timing, the writing styles each character has, the way you ping people to get them involved, it feels straight out of real life. A very short story, as per the Neo-Twiny Jam rules, but it worked well.
Life-threatening lesbian action, July 4, 2023Being threatened at knifepoint. Intense lesbian sexual tension. Two great tastes that taste great together!
So You Have a Knife at Your Throat has you, an assassin, about to be jumped by a fellow assassin. There's a few lines that hint at more beyond just what's witnessed in the game ("you're pretty damn sure she wants it too," "this has been going on too long," "you don't want to think about how your heart beats faster when she's around"). I like the bits of detail we get, but the dynamic was interesting enough that I would love to see it expanded on in another story. Still, working within the Neo-Twiny Jam constraints, it's worth playing.
Worth going out for, May 4, 2023Gone Out For Gruyere is a fun puzzlefest. In this one, you're stuck in a room with a giant cheese mocking you every time you move. It's pretty obnoxious, and your goal is to get rid of the darn thing. There are eight directions you can go, each connecting to a single room with one or two things of interest. Rooms will close off once you've done everything there is to do in them, which helps keep it more manageable.
I had one problem with this game, where I got locked out of an item I was supposed to use. (Spoiler - click to show)I multiplied the rope, but left the room without shrinking it, so I wasn't able to go in and get it back. I had to restart the game for that. I was also unsure about how the game drifts into more abstract concepts later on, which made it a bit harder to understand and visualize. Despite this, I managed to reach the end, which was pretty satisfying.
The funny concept of this game and the variety of vignettes you can enter make it worth checking out. Definitely play around with it.
Another heist for the highlight reel, April 30, 2023Playing Lady Thalia is an all-around good time. I'll start off by saying that I love its style of writing; a lot of Lady Thalia's observations on snooty, upper-class lifestyles made me laugh. A favorite would be this at the art museum: "As the group strolls along towards yet another picture of a basket of fruit; you've never really understood the point of these, [...]". I also really appreciated the game's avoidance of info-dumps, preferring to let me take in information naturally through the conversations I had and the places I went. Despite this, I never felt like I was uninformed. If I was unable to truly pull something off, it was solely due to my own mistakes. I'd also like to praise the game's presentation: it's a royal purple-and-gold combination that looks visually striking without being distracting.
The game's main feature is three heists against the obnoxiously uptight Lady Satterthwaite. In each one, you get a daytime period to sneak around and get a sense of the layout, search for design flaws that will help you in your heist, or talk to others in your daytime-civilian persona to extract information. Then comes the nighttime, where you have to pull off your heist with as much stealth as you can. A newspaper article recaps your actions for the day, and your partner Gwen will tell you how you did and give you an idea of if you're on the right track. You also get a bit of planning for what to do the next day.
Three heists feels like just the right amount for the concept; just two would have left me wanting more, but four in one game would have overstayed its welcome a bit. Each of them grows in intensity and difficulty, too. I definitely performed the best on the first, where my only slip-up was not figuring out the combination to the safe and opting to pick the lock instead. The second and third didn't go as well, but that's mostly because I became accustomed to picking the most rude and sarcastic dialogue options. Yes, I wanted to still do my best with the heists, and yes, they're rarely helpful, but I very much appreciated the fact that I could make Lady Thalia say exactly what I was thinking at the moment. I jumped at the chance to tell Mel to go to hell.
I'd had my eye on this game for a while, and I'm glad I decided to give it a try. There are two sequels, which I'm looking forward to checking out; I hear one even has a romance system included. Maybe I'll give Lady Thalia a bit more reserve there. Maybe.
The presentation of this game tripped me up at first. The Twine window on the main page is actually Twine itself, opening a menu for you to edit new stories with. You have to click a different link to access the "game"; it asks you if you know what the word "Herculean" means and what it connects to. I do, and continuing the quiz ends with a bunch of literary text being dumped on you at once. I also don't think there's a way to scroll through the text here, so I had to decrease the size of my browser window.
The website is a branching segment with clashing colors, Comic Sans, and a bunch of images that are too small to really read the captions on. The text analyzes allusions and references in media like Danny Phantom or Zootopia. It's clear that there was thought put into it, and I did find it slightly interesting, but it can barely be classified as a game; it's more akin to a school project. I can tell there was effort put into the writing and research, but I don't think it'd be fair to give this a star rating and judge it as a game.
Super zero, April 7, 2023One day, Gilda Garrison examines a dusty old lamp in an antiques shop, and the genie grants her a wish (not three; budget cuts). She sneezes from the lamp dust, making a noise that can be interpreted as a wish to inexplicably transform into an art gallery. In the present day, you're greeted with this incredibly amusing brief of the story so far:
You, Gallery Gal (or rather, your mild-mannered alter ego Gilda Garrison), are sitting in a classy artisan coffee place waiting for a friend-of-a-friend you will, quote, "like, totally hit it off with!"
You have the sneaking suspicion that this friend-of-a-friend is actually more of an acquaintance-of-a-friend and that Brenda may have been exaggerating about how totally you would hit it off.
You feel bad about doubting Brenda's judgement, but that would be a very Brenda thing to do.
The rest of the game follows Gilda meeting up with said friend: a superhero named Captain Caulk, who can patch every hole except the one in his heart. However, he's too entitled to realize that other people have the same problems he does, so Glinda leaves him (she can also spill hot coffee on him first). There's also the ever-present temptation to just turn into an art gallery right then and there. It's pretty crazy, and the writing made me laugh.
After your run-in with Clark, you have two paths to choose. In the first, Glinda is buying steak, but it turns out to be too expensive. The second choice is to go to an art museum. However, you can't do anything at this point, and you'll quickly run into an unfinished thread in both of these.
The game seems to have been abandoned, and honestly, I'm not sure where else it could have gone. The Clark stuff was funny, but it would have been more satisfying if there was a proper wrap-up after it and then the game had a formal ending, rather than taunting me with the promise of more and immediately taking it away.
Light the fire up in the night, March 30, 2023If there's one series that's interested me lately, it's Ryan Veeder's Little Match Girl games. I hear about the thing so much, and the increasingly crazy ways it develops and new games get revealed. So I took the time to check it out for myself.
I had been completely unfamiliar with the story, so I took a bit to do extra research before playing the game. Here, you're an unnamed little girl who's freezing to death at a street corner. You can light four matches to see different visions, each with new places to go and people to meet.
The writing is descriptive while using few words, and it made the text engaging to read. All the characters you meet have unique personalities and backstories. My favorites were Poseidon's two daughters, who are glad to accept you as their own sister.
The gameplay is a simple puzzle chain of finding an item in one area, giving it to someone, then using that somewhere else. Still, there's easy-to-follow logic with each. I always had an idea of what to do next, but it never felt boring or overly easy.
It's a charming story that doesn't take too long and is worth your time. I'm excited to see what the next games are like.
Hard to learn and hard to master, but that's why it's rewarding, March 29, 2023Kerkerkruip is an acquired taste, and it took me a while to warm up to it. This is a roguelike along the lines of NetHack, which I've never been particularly good at. What I found slightly aggravating and confusing quickly revealed itself as a game of logic, math, and a lot of dice rolling.
To start my journey, I read the help menu and beginner's guide. When I got into the game, I could tell I wasn't very successful. I was rarely able to make sense of the items I found, and any enemies (particularly those daggers) would kick my butt in a second. Despite this, the feelings of frustration from losing rarely lasted, and I'd immediately hop in for another chance. It was impossible for me to stay mad at the game for very long.
A few playthroughs later, and I hit my stride. I found some good gear, was destroying enemies with relative ease, and I realized something: I had been rushing way too fast. There's no reason to treat it like a real-time battle to the death. The best thing you can do is check your enemy, their weapon, your weapon, whatever else you might have, environmental hazards, anything that may have been inflicted on you from previous spells or battles. Once I started playing more defensively like this, I was doing better. You have so much to take into account, so take your time and really plan out your moves.
Combat itself is pretty in-depth. The main mechanic is that you can attack, or "concentrate" to build up your attack power and increase the chance it hits. When an enemy attacks, you can dodge, parry, block, or roll, all of which have different effects and are better in certain situations (you wouldn't want to parry a big club if you have a small dagger, and dodging when you're on a thin bridge isn't a good idea). There's a bit of RNG with the rolls, but much of the battle is determined through item stats and what you've done beforehand. Every enemy also has a unique weapon, moveset, stat set, and power it gives you after. If an enemy's too tough for you, you can retreat; you get a free one upon discovering a room, so it never feels like you're being punished for exploring.
There's a big feature that really incentivized me to keep going. Every time you defeat an enemy, you get a skill (like a chance to immediately act after being hit, a piercing attack, or the power to stun other enemies), in addition to a max HP increase and some points to freely distribute into one of three stats. Only the latter is permanent; there's a complicated rigmarole you have to get through in order to keep the rest of your bonuses, which involves the order you fight your enemies in. This winds up being one of the biggest puzzles in the game. It's not something you should worry about for your first few tries, but when I was about to fight the final boss, I picked up pretty quick why it important -- and I had lost all my skills except one along the way. The second time I fought him, I planned my gameplay out so that I retained three powerful spells from earlier, which led to my victory.
Weapons and gear rarely feel like straight upgrades from others, and it's fun to work out a battle plan from what you have. The array of items you can have mostly amounts to types of grenades, from what I saw, but they have vastly different effects in play, some of which are unpredictable. Some gear will also be cursed and have negative effects, which you'll only know after you put it on. In this case, you can either live with it or find a way to purify it.
There's more to watch out for, too. The game has a religion and sacrifice mechanic, where you can sacrifice skills to different gods in favor of themed bonuses. You can find scrolls spread around, but most of the time you won't know what they do until you use them. However, you can find scroll analyzers or learn about them from other books. Some enemies will fight alongside others, and they'll either gang up on you or start attacking each other. You'll also come across different types of machines around the labyrinth, which you can experiment with.
It took me a little over two hours to finish Kerkerkruip for the first time. My victory was somewhat dampened when the game told me I had now unlocked normal difficulty, but the key point is that I was always having fun with it. Even a failed run felt rewarding, since I picked up on some bit of new information or thought of a strategy I'd want to try next. Now, I'm pretty excited to go back in and see what new stuff is added on harder difficulties.
This game felt different every time I played it, so I'd definitely recommend it. And don't worry about dying; it's a learning process!
Future lost, March 26, 2023Textos Blast from the Past is disposable garbage. It's unfunny, it's immature, it's unfinished, and there's nothing worthwhile about it.
You play as Texto. Your bird friend, Oreo the Parrot, has built a time machine for you on top of an abandoned toy warehouse. Also, you live in a cave. All of this is established from the first paragraph. The game runs on a similar form of nonsense, but none of it is particularly funny. Also, you apparently have the power to text while driving, which never comes up in the game. Some mediocre drawings outline your adventure.
You leave your cave, go parkouring, and kill someone in the process. The game contains lines like "Your a dumbass" and involves multiple casual murders for no reason at all. Anyways, you are trying to capture proof of your "badassness" to activate your time machine. So you stab some guy in the crotch so "his ballsack blood and everything go everywhere." If you fail this segment, you're sent back to earlier and have to click the same options to get back to where you were, adding a tedious bit of frustration to an already short game.
After this, you arrive in a forest with Oreo. But rather than any description, you get an "{UNKNOWN TEMPLATE: THE END OF CHAPTER 1 - THE PRESENT}" and are left with nothing else. I can't say I'm excited to see what Texto would have gotten up to next.
House exploration treasure hunt, March 22, 2023Burglar! is a simple treasure hunt. You're a burglar invading someone's wealthy estate, and you have two hours to explore and rob it until they get home.
There are a lot of items to find: some important, some treasures (helpfully marked in bold), and some red herrings. The latter were definitely disruptive, but I can't say I wished they weren't there. They both fueled and foiled some of my crazier plans: for instance, I was trying to catch the cat in my bag and sic it against the dog, or put butter on the legs of a desk so I could move it downstairs. Neither worked, but I had fun trying.
Verb choice was a bit weird here. You can't use "search", but you can "look in" and "look under" items. I wasn't really sure what I could do at first, so some more points in the right direction would have helped. Similarly, I wasn't able to get all the points without a walkthrough. Every playthrough I'd find something new and figure out what to do with it, but there's definitely one or two things I wouldn't have found myself. Thankfully, you can leave the house at any time if you're happy with the treasures you've looted. I was also glad that the optimal solution isn't too time-crunched, so you can still mess up or lose track of a few things and make it out with all the valuables in time.
Still, this is a pretty good game for something made as a coding exercise. It's fun as a small game to play a few times, maybe take notes on, and see how much you can get.
Everybody’s house is haunted, March 7, 2023Ghost is a hidden gem. This game's writing is really funny, the puzzles are clever, and it gives you a large space to roam around. Right off the bat, the game got me with a joke: describing a beautiful foyer, which is "probably your last favorite room in the house," and you hate how it gets redecorated and remade every time you mess it up. The protagonist's general hatred of the house, plus their aversion to visitors, are always amusing.
The main plot is that four obnoxious teens run in, and it's your job to get them out. Each one has a specific fear, so it's up to you to psychologically manipulate those to scare them out of the house. The four characters are actually pretty dynamic; they roam around the house, each has special interactions, and it's fun to see what they have to say.
The possession mechanic adds some depth to the gameplay. When you're playing as the ghost, you can phase through walls and locked doors to get places faster. But you can also possess most of the guests, allowing you to do tasks like opening cabinets that you can't do in your non-corporeal form. Some objects can also be possessed, and these are integral to puzzles.
The game has a few helpful shortcuts to make it easier to play. If you don't know where the visitors are, there are two interactions that can summon them all into one room. Similarly, you can see a list of locations you've visited, and jump to them with just one command (provided you're not possessing anything).
I ran into a few bugs, but thankfully, the results were pretty silly and not game-breaking. While possessing Adam, I wanted to take a shower. And I did -- the entire guest fixtures went into my inventory. I carried them around with me for the rest of the game. There was another problem when I was in the game room and the ghost managed to be in the room with me, somehow. It called me out for walking into a wall. Also, some of the room text didn't update as I moved items around, which got a bit frustrating.
I should note that I haven't finished Ghost. I don't know if anyone has. I was able to get Dana out of the house, but there's some more things I can't find. If anyone's willing to figure this game out, hit me up!
How about a game of chess?, March 6, 2023GlkChess is not an IF game, but a recreation of Chess playable in Glulxe. Everything works the way you would expect, with even some complicated moves like castling and en passant added in. You play white, and you can see the board from either player's side. There's also eight save slots for your game, an undo button, and a way to restart. Despite my enthusiasm in Chess, I'm not that good at it, so I didn't manage to beat the AI. Still, my game played smoothly and worked well.
End of The World is a demonstration of how Google Forms works as a vehicle for making and playing IF. It's a very unusual format, but it worked... surprisingly well. It's a traditional choice-based game with two options each time and multiple endings. Honestly, a Twine port of this would play pretty much the same.
The story starts with you being approached by a strange creature in a black cloak. You can hide, or approach it with violence. If you get the chance, you can learn its identity and ask it about what's going on. I admit that the "cat" scene didn't make much sense, but the story feels secondary to the game's purpose.
I'm not going to give this game a star rating, since it was mainly made to demo a new format. I can't really see Google Forms becoming a popular choice for IF creators, or players, but it could have been executed much worse.
Broken and underimplemented, February 13, 2023The most intriguing thing about this game is its title. Don't be fooled; it's a generic fantasy game with nothing notable about it, and it's full of bugs that prevent you from even beating it. The writing is brief and riddled with spelling errors ("There are faint crunching noises coming from the cave to the east, but most likely it is a ZOMBY."). You'll also be lucky to come across anything that has a description, and they're rarely useful (two "potions" that I took from a witch told me nothing until I tried drinking them).
When the game starts, you're pitted against an elf named Eromix. However, you can walk away and do other stuff rather than fight him. And you'll realize that there's not much to see; characters have minimal interaction, and some rooms have nothing of interest.
Battles, which run on the "Inform ATTACK" extension by Victor Gijsbers, aren't fun or varied because of the game's format. Every weapon is a straight upgrade from the last, and you have no way of seeing their stats. Some enemies will also always attack when they reach two concentration, making it even more railroaded. There's no challenge to them, and even the titular "Blood Lust warrior" at the end of the game died in three hits. He didn't even have a description.
There's also a "hidden door" that, despite being mentioned along with the "you can go..." directions, cannot be entered or opened in any way. A certain enemy you can kill is always described as "running about" in the static room description. The "X" you have to dig up on the island also can't be interacted with, since the only interaction is for "searching the X," which doesn't work properly.
I peeked into the source code out of curiosity, and it explains a lot of this game's janky moments. I found that one enemy flat-out does nothing due to a spelling error. He's defined as "a duerger called Dridennan", but everything initializing his stats and items calls him Dradennan. Neither spelling will work on him in the game, so while you can "see" him, he remains motionless and can't be interacted with. Even the way you're supposed to get back from the island, typing "xyzzy", isn't implemented properly. The actual command you have to type is "xyzzzy" (despite what the game tells you) and it's set to apply to an object. Attempting to use it on anything won't work, so you're basically stuck, and there's no way to win the game.
This game is a broken mess with repetitive gameplay, vague descriptions, and a lack of a notable story or characters. You can't even finish the thing properly. Skip this one.
Action-packed superhero silliness, February 12, 2023A Matter of Heist Urgency has an intriguing genre mash-up of being a heist and a brawler, and one where everyone's a horse. Some ponies, some llamas, some work as pirates while others are knights and superheroes. After some brief detective work to figure out who stole your city's crown jewels, you're off to a desert island to fight a scurvy crew of llamas.
The game's got a nice style with separate "parts," each headlined with some sequenced jazz music. You have a few fights to get through before the end, and the first pits you (and your partner) against a team of three. It introduces the battle mechanics well, where you're discouraged from using the same move against an enemy more than once. RNG determines whether your attacks hit and if you dodge the enemy, but it was generally skewed in my favor, so it felt fair.
There's a scene midway through that convinced me to give this game 4 stars instead of 3. It really impressed me, and it seems to be added in response to earlier reviewer feedback, so I want to highlight it here. Please play the game before reading this part! (Spoiler - click to show)It's a flashback to Anastasia's past as a rainbow factory worker, and how it got sabotaged by a llama. We also learn about her friend's death? I assumed that's what it was. The music score here is astounding, being perfectly timed with the text, growing in intensity as it goes on, and even having some beeping in time with the rainbow meter's explosion. It adds more backstory, it's fun to follow along with, and it's a great attention-grabber after the first battle.
For the pirate battle, there's action set pieces you can take advantage of (with a little thinking) to get rid of certain enemies, guaranteed. Running around the ship, solving puzzles before the llamas could catch up to me, was a surprisingly fast-paced and intense experience. Eventually, I just chose to fight them head-on. The third battle is done in choice format, but has some nice descriptions and visuals. Each one feels dynamic and serves a purpose, so it prevents the game from getting repetitive.
I think the short, punchy nature of this game works in its favor. The wild premise and bite-sized battles make it an easy choice to just jump into and enjoy. In that way, it's like the IF equivalent of a Saturday morning cartoon. The IFDB page and in-game header say that Heist Urgency is the first in a series, and I'd easily play a sequel to this.
The first time I played Colour Beyond Time, it was on the unfinished Adventuron version. I found a bug that prevented me from finishing it, and when the author was alerted of it, he fixed the game and even ported over the third part. With the game now in a complete state (I played version 3.3), I think it's only right to give it another review. For transparency, the text of the original review is in the comments.
Let's start with the plot. Your friend Carble has left you a note: everything rests on you to stop an ancient being from rising from the lake and destroying the world! It's up to you to explore the town, figure out who you trust, and uncover what's really going on. I enjoyed the story, the bits of history you pick up and get to mentally string together, and the way the characters interact. Spoilers, but (Spoiler - click to show)I did NOT expect the hotel manager to have such an important role in the story.
The puzzles throughout felt pretty fair. I kept notes, so I always had an idea of what was left to solve or where I should go next. There is one thing I think I did earlier than intended, though: (Spoiler - click to show)I wound up finding Sasha's hideout before opening the library's archive. Still, it didn't spoil any of the plot, and the puzzles didn't conflict.
Part 3's more intense tone and the way it ties everything together felt satisfying. I liked the plot developments, but it left me with an unanswered question or two: (Spoiler - click to show)We never got to know what happened to Meeks and the hotel manager. The former isn't seen after you escape the hotel, and the latter isn't even brought up as far as I remember. A small graphical detail I liked was the (Spoiler - click to show)increasingly distorted backgrounds. They added to the feeling of impending doom. In order to play this part, you need a password from the end of part 2.
One small problem I noticed throughout was the lack of specific responses or even item descriptions. I got a lot of default responses for examining or trying to take things. Having it say "you can't find it" when I tried to take described items in a room was frustrating, to say the least. Carble even has an explicitly mentioned and illustrated giant window in his room, and I wanted to look out of it and see what I could see, only to get that default response for everything I tried. Part 3 also gave me a few errors: "LISTEN" always printed a blank line, even when it was described that I could overhear someone talking, and "SEARCH" gave me the same text throughout as it did the end of part 2, referring to (Spoiler - click to show)being able to see the well at the bottom of the ocean, from the rowboat, even though I wasn't there anymore. The game also has some typos throughout, but these didn't prevent me from understanding the plot and they never got in the way of the parser.
A few more general notes about the game, and advice for players: Save often, because you can die if you mess up. Still, the game will explicitly warn you when you're in danger. You also have a score counter that you can see by checking your pocket watch; the SCORE command doesn't work. There's a limit on how many items you can carry, but I only ran into this once near the end of part 2. You have a fair amount of junk items you don't need by that point, so it wasn't much of an issue.
Overall, I found Colour Beyond Time to be worth playing. There is a rewarding story and the developer has been very good at responding to my comments and questions. I recommend this one if you're looking for something more old-school.
You're an idea, time to be realized, January 23, 2023An Artist and an Idea is a cute little Twine game. You take the form of an "idea" inside an artist's head; no emotions, no physical form, just a want to be realized. You first get to decide when to appear in your artist's head, and then you can slip away or stay put.
The game's presentation starts with white text on a black screen, but when the idea is being realized, the colors switch and it uses a more handwriting-style font. At this point, you can decide which emotion you want to convey, reflect on the artist's memories, and then remember the people he's met.
With the game's ending screen, you're given a small sketch, alongside a paragraph of text. No matter what image you get, the message is hopeful and optimistic, with the idea finally realized and hoping it can be developed further. Subsequent runs will take you less time, but you can click different options to see if you get a different sketch at the end. There are six endings total, which is a good amount for a game this size. I'd recommend playing this one to see how the idea turns out for you.
You Won't BELIEVE What This Reviewer Thought!, January 21, 2023Everyone's familiar with this kind of personality quiz. You take them for fun, or because you're bored and need to kill three minutes, and forget about them. 10 questions takes an interesting turn.
The game's short enough that you should probably play it before reading this review, so I'll spoiler-tag most of it.
(Spoiler - click to show)The QUESTIONS. They get so personal and accusatory, and tell a story. The first one that hit me was "Is that the same date you took me on when we first met?" I was suitably creeped out. This got hammered in with "When you wake up to an empty bed, what do you think about?" It made me start wondering, how is this supposed to be taken in-universe? Did my ex make this quiz and send it to me just to harass me? That's a whole new level of obsessive.
She says, "I always feel like I come last. Whatever else you're doing, it's always more important than me." When in reality, you just have normal human responsibilities. She thinks what scared you away was that she "liked loving you too much." Actually, it's just that she's judgmental and clingy, and holding you back from real opportunities you want.
She becomes increasingly desperate, repeatedly asking you to relive one of her favorite memories. You respond, "What's the point of rehashing everything we did together?" It's been years, you two broke up, and it'll never be the same. At the end of the quiz, I got a really passive-aggressive and needy response. It was thematically appropriate and also kind of disturbing.
For my next run, I tried being more of a jerk, but I got the same response. I think this might be rigged up to specifically guilt trip me no matter what I do... or maybe I was unintentionally being "sweet, but aloof" on my first run. I did get a bit more out of this second run, but the way the story unfolded was mostly the same, so I don't think it has much replay value.
Overall, the game tells a story with a very unique format. I realize the "romance drama" genre is a bit overdone, and this story did feel a little uneasy at times, but I feel like it was worth my time.
A worthy sequel, January 21, 2023I loved Threediopolis. It's inventive, I got a kick out of seeing all the interesting places I could go, and the difficulty was challenging yet fair. When I heard there was a sequel, I couldn't wait to jump in and see what kind of new mechanics were added.
Figuring out Fourdiopolis for the first time gave me much the same experience as Three. I tested my moves, tracked what they did, then found the letters I needed to use to get somewhere close. I (Spoiler - click to show)met Ike first, and after that, everything clicked.
I think I had a harder time finishing Three; not only because that game had more tasks before the first "ending" point, but the number jumping felt a bit more severe. Also, in Four, your completed tasks are listed in alphabetical order. This was a big help, since for every destination I chose, I had a good idea of which letters it could start with.
I love the different vibe of Four. Three had you traveling around a city to complete tasks for your employer. Meanwhile, this game's atmosphere is futuristic and throws you into a controlling society where you're witnessing rebellions and captures. Everything feels more oppressive and hostile. It's a big change of tone, but it sets the games apart pretty well.
I was kind of relieved Four ended when it did; while I was open to (Spoiler - click to show)completing 15 more tasks, I didn't want to do it immediately afterwards, having just solved similar puzzles for an hour straight. I might pick this one up again in the future to see if I can make it further, but now I really feel like replaying Three. If you liked the predecessor, check this one out. Otherwise, you should probably play Three first.
I'm playing this game in its very early state, but I'm not sure if it'll be finished. The author says that he'll "hopefully keep working on it soon" on the game page, but he seems to have been inactive for almost 300 days, according to his itch.io activity. Which is a shame, because the story is promising so far.
Your crew has been investing in an expensive construction in a jungle-like area, until you receive word that it's been canceled. It's up to you to navigate the structure and find the human foreman (the rest of the workers are robots) to shut it down before it takes away any more of your money. The game has a vaguely futuristic, sci-fi tone to it, and I liked the descriptions of the massive structure.
I got tripped up when I was expecting a simple puzzle, but there turned out not to be one: the scene with the robot at the entrance. I dropped my luggage and stuff, and the robot wanted to know my ID and name, so I started searching my items for an ID card or some identification. I was planning to show it to the robot, but if that didn't work, I could just read it and say what it was (I, as a player, didn't know my number or last name yet). Instead, you can just type something like "say your name and id number to the robot" and that works. There's also three points you can get, but I only earned one (from taking one of the items that dropped), and I'm not sure if the other two are available.
The game ends immediately after this scene, before it really gets started. The blurb admits that the game was made in a couple of days to meet a jam deadline. With that said, I wouldn't recommend playing the unfinished version (it's pretty standard gameplay), but if it ever gets finished, I'd be glad to return. Still, even if it doesn't, there's something to be said about a permanently in-progress game with "Cancellation Order" in the name.
Go Game, So Same, January 20, 2023I played this one a bit after Very Vile Fairy File, and it's clear they're cut from the same cloth. That doesn't bother me, though, because I really enjoyed Fairy File, and the game has a bit to differentiate itself. For one, the leet learner works differently, and figuring that out again was fun. I just wish the new notes returned, because I liked looking over those as a recap of what I had done. I think it was easier to figure out this time around, but I had to manually track down my reads as I went through the game until I understood it. I also noticed that you get a few more items that you carry with you and have to wordplay with to get out of difficult situations, like the light lute and the red rose.
I'm split over how I feel about the Spurning Sprite as an antagonist over the Fairy File. Whenever the Fairy File spoke, you got some kind of humorous insult and then the player character's introspection. Plus, the showdown against it was fun and climactic. The Spurning Sprite's dialogue is more intelligible and has personality, and I thought its battle was clever, but overall it didn't lead to the same deep thoughts and doubt that the Fairy File gave us.
Overall, both games are pretty fun, but I think Fairy File slightly wins out over Jokey Journey for me. If you liked Fairy File or Quite Queer Night Near, you'll get a lot out of this one.
Waste of time, January 15, 2023My Girlfriend's An Evil Bitch is, first and foremost, a wilderness survival management simulator. I realize this genre appeals to some people, but it felt poorly planned and executed here. For reference, I played release 13.
The thing is, you don't know what this game will be the first time you play. I was sure I could take my time and explore my house, maybe see a bit of what's on the street, and then take my car to the airport on time. Every turn after 3:00 PM, the game will nag you with the same piece of text after every command. It got annoying fast as I repeatedly tried to fight my way there, and you will end up seeing it a lot, because there's no way you're getting everything done before the survival aspect. Especially if you're taking time to prepare.
I bought everything from the pawn shop, because I thought I'd be able to find more to sell. I couldn't, not even the diamond ring and violin I found in my house safe, which I thought would be worth a good amount. There's a bookstore with hint books, and a general store, too. Once you pass a certain point, you can't come back for any of this, and it's up to you to do the wilderness survival portion using just what you got to prepare.
Once you crash into the wilderness, it's up to you to get rescued. I opted to use the radio I bought from the pawn shop. The thing is, no matter what you do, you don't feel like you're making progress. I staked out a hollowed-out old tree to bide my time, but even after I cleaned it up with some nice wooden flooring and stones to keep the bugs away, staying there didn't seem to do anything different. I had to make my fire outside, and while I had more than enough material to burn and ways to light it, it didn't do much (heat doesn't matter). It made smoke that the game said could help someone find me, but that didn't go anywhere. Repairing the radio was a bit more complex than I expected, but I hooked it up to a speaker, had the fire burning and making smoke, and got a notice saying I was ready to go. I decided to wait it out until help arrived, rationing out what meager food I had... and died before anything really happened.
The hunger and thirst mechanics are maddening. You have a limited amount of food, so that's constantly working against you. For thirst, you have a stream to drink from, but you can also buy a canteen from the general store and fill it up. If you don't? You have to run back and forth between your shelter and the river to drink, which also lowers your hunger and thirst meters massively with how much time it takes. I guess what I'm supposed to do now is start over, solve all the puzzles again while the game repeatedly shouts at me to go to the airport, spare myself an excess purchase (maybe the matches) to find the general store and buy the canteen, and then gamble for another chance at survival? I'd probably just die of hunger again, even though I picked up all the food I saw on my first run.
One important aspect to note: it does seem like there's a lot you can do here. The hints detail a bit of content that I didn't come across, but it seems equally as frustrating as what I did see, so I'm not enthused to play more. Maybe if you're willing to give this one a lot of replays to find a solution, it'd be worth it? As it stands, I really didn't enjoy it.
Brief and amusing, January 14, 2023Jupiter's forcing you to set up a party for Chuck D. Schmendiman, a man entering the pantheon for his newfound immortality. To get supplies for his party, you trade four delicious fruit pies (which, disappointingly, give a "plainly inedible" default response if you try to eat one) to the Greek gods spread around.
This is a Speed IF, so there's not a lot of gameplay or puzzles here, but I liked the atmosphere. All of the gods are practicing different activities and have amusing personalities. I particularly liked Mars looking just like the planet Mars instead of a god. And the ending is silly, but I wouldn't have wanted anything else from this game. A quick play, but worth it.
Full of personality, so-so puzzles, January 12, 2023Speculative Fiction's voice and narration are full of personality. Everything is written from the perspective of wizard-turned-bird W.D., whether he's reflecting upon his past failed inventions or trying to cheat his way into wealth. The NPCs and characters around the world are interesting, and I had so much fun on my initial run through the world just to see what there was.
Eventually, it came down to the part where I had to start puzzle-solving, and this is where the game started to grate on me. There's very few clues, and while I was able to solve two or three on my own, I spent a lot of time struggling with ones that I didn't have the necessary materials for. I think I had a bug with the (Spoiler - click to show)cabinet puzzle, and the blind man's puzzle wouldn't accept some of the other solutions I thought were sensible. Other stuff, like the (Spoiler - click to show)stock market and fishing chalk circle, are practically begging for you to look at the walkthrough.
I'd recommend giving this game a quick look to appreciate the unique style, but don't be afraid to look for hints if you're intent on solving it.
Great writing and characters, horrible bugs, January 7, 2023Max Blaster is a game with engaging writing and an active, fast-paced story. The characters are memorable and the game's humor is on-point; I always loved reading the footnotes. The mechanic of being able to switch between the two heroes, and use their unique gadgets, led to some fun puzzles.
However, the game's biggest problem is the bugs. The parser is unresponsive, no matter how many different ways you word your commands or how simple they should be. I triggered a bug that made the game permanently unwinnable midway through in the computer room, the sandwich puzzle did not respond no matter how closely I followed the walkthrough, and figuring out Max's barrier tool was such a pain that I stuck to Doris until I was forced to use it.
If you're willing to put up with an unpolished gameplay experience, give Max Blaster a try, because the written content here is very much worth it.
Surrealism at its finest, January 6, 2023(Adapted from an intfiction.org post)
For a Change has a dreamlike quality to it. All of its unusual logic comes together and really makes sense, ending up with a truly unforgettable experience. The game’s language is succinct and yet very descriptive: one line in particular that impressed me was The sun beats overhead, lending brightness and warmth, both long distant from the land you know. Items you find are strange, such as a “handlefish” or an “anchisel”, which are minimally described beyond some key traits about their demeanor. The game gives you a lot of time and material to immerse yourself in the world and try to visualize what you’re really dealing with. It wound up feeling rewarding to even figure out what an item or technique was, and then how to use it.
The key plot of For a Change is that you have to figure out how to bring the Sun back to your small land, which is overcast by a long wall. Beings in the meantime have figured out how to adapt to life in the shade. A major mechanic involves a small model replica of your land, closed off by a glass case. Your interactions and what you do to the world will end up making the true concept of the game more obvious. The climax in particular felt really satisfying.
For a Change is a short game (should only take around two hours, give or take a half, on a blind run), so it’s easy to recommend for a quick-yet-high quality experience. I kept the review light on spoiler details because I think it's fun to figure out on your own. It’s not that hard and it has an optional built-in hint system, plus there's no way to make it unwinnable. Give it a try.
A metamorphical scheme, January 6, 2023(Adapted from an intfiction.org post)
You are Douglas Reilly, a detective for hire. One day, you receive a notice from the Baron: his daughter, Lisa von Bulow, has run away with a no-good scumbag named Erik McAllister. It’s up to you and your trusty servant Wesson to find Lisa, ensure her safety, and maybe even convince her that she can do better. And so begins PataNoir!
PataNoir's main appeal is that it’s based on similes. Places you explore will be littered with descriptions that mention similes: hard like a brick, cold like ice, sharp as a knife. And it’s up to you to figure out what to do with that brick, ice, and knife. The few real-world objects you collect usually cannot be combined with the simile items, but you can apply them to people, such as putting marble on someone’s face to make them unexpressive. You also have a servant, Wesson, and you’ll need his help to accomplish some tasks. Otherwise, you can ask him for a nudge in the right direction. He’s basically the game’s hint system, and I found this helpful and unobtrusive.
There’s some elements to PataNoir that didn’t feel quite right. For one, the parser is simplified so that you can just type an object’s name to interact with it, or “[object 1] [object 2]” to apply something to something else. I realize this might have been done to help people more unfamiliar with IF, but it wouldn’t always give me the right action I wanted by default. I found the interactions between the real world and the simile objects kind of inconsistent – I initially assumed it was a clear-cut “theoretical objects can’t affect real world ones”, but there’s multiple puzzles that go against this, despite the game telling you otherwise. There’s also numerous puzzles or items that didn’t go anywhere: what was I supposed to do with the (Spoiler - click to show)angry giant, trumpet statue, or old knight and mummies? There’s no real distinction between something that’s just there for silly flavor text or an integral part of a puzzle. It got a little confusing, but thankfully, Wesson can tell you if you still need to do anything in the room.
I thought the characters and story in this game were simple, but strong. Douglas is a straight-laced detective who never wants his work to get personal, but respects his rules and guidelines. His dialogue with others isn’t mind-blowing, but it gives him some nice character. Throughout the game, you’ll visit classic noir locales such as a casino, a dirty apartment, and a dingy bar. The plot has a few twists and turns, and it kept me engaged and wanting to play more. There’s even a bonus scene you can get before the ending if you solve an optional endgame puzzle, which I was satisfied with. I was a bit split on how I felt about the very last scene, though, which shows up no matter which ending you get before; (Spoiler - click to show)I found it a bit depressing at first, but I realize it was foreshadowed well and ultimately doesn’t nullify everything you’ve done.
Ultimately, I had fun with PataNoir. It never gets too frustrating, there’s no game-breaking bugs and very few chances to get a game over, and the idea of being able to use similes to your advantage is creative and executed well. This isn’t one of my favorite IF games, but it captures the genre well, and it’s a good time if you want something light.
I've been training like a Pavlov dog, January 6, 2023Dinner Bell is a one-room game full of silly humor. Your goal is, from inside your test chamber, to find 16 food items. You instinctively put them in a grocery bag, despite starving, due to the conditioning from Dr. Beagle.
In Dinner Bell, it's worth trying some weird or silly stuff to see what it has to say. My favorite joke involved either the bucket of wax pears, or the Shiptogar. The game's theming is also pretty interesting and unique, and I haven't seen anything else like it.
It's a quick game, but there's a lot to like here. I recommend it.
Train a robot with ridiculous material, January 6, 2023The Mary Jane of Tomorrow has a cute, low-stakes story with a really creative core mechanic: procedurally generated text. You're training a robot called the Pine Nut Queen, and it learns from various books and texts you feed it from around the house. Its dialogue and responses change according depending on what it has learned. Your main goal is to make sure it'll correctly respond to the questions Jenny is going to ask it, but in the process of getting there, you'll teach it all kinds of stuff. The implementation of this is seamless, and resulted in some really funny messages. The puzzles are pretty simple, but still enjoyable.
Also, this game is set in the same universe as Brain Guzzlers from Beyond! While I've now beaten both, I played this game before Brain Guzzlers. I still enjoyed it, so don't let that scare you away -- from what I remember, it doesn't connect to the specific events of Brain Guzzlers, and just involves the some of the same characters.
Pun-filled hilarity, January 6, 2023In a Manor of Speaking is one of the funniest games I've ever played. Every line in this game is some sort of pun, and the writing style is so enthusiastic and excited. For instance, a "piece of your mind" is described as being "very thoughtful", and you can pick eyes off an eyepatch (failing to use them properly results in "Eye don't think that's such a good idea!"). You can walk into a bar (ouch!). You get to literally take a tourist's picture, find the proof in the pudding, and grow birdseed. There's such a manic energy to this game, I love it. It reminded me of Nord and Bert and You are a Chef!
This game may not be an in-depth puzzlefest, or have super deep characters, or an intricate story, but it's just fun. It's a comfort game, and it never fails to cheer me up every time I go to it. That's what makes it worth five stars for me.
Engaging and fair magic puzzler, January 6, 2023Suveh Nux lets you work out what it's all about just by experimentation. Once I got my book, I started off by typing all the spell names. Then I charted down their effects, and what happened if I used them more than once. This just led to more ideas with what I could do, and it feels rewarding to keep trying and learning new spells. There's a small aspect that confused me, and it was (Spoiler - click to show)the ANI effect. I noticed that some of my effects were delayed, but I thought it was a method to make my next spells immediately more powerful; like maybe it would be better than casting it multiple times in a row? Still, the game has a useful hint system, and is loaded with Easter eggs. Try everything you can, and even if you don't, it's still a fun game.
Not a Good Parody, Game, or Anything Really, January 5, 2023Not the Lord of the Rings is an embarrassingly shallow game. It's full of immature "adult" humor. You'll run into characters such as Dildo Bumbite, Pipdick Brandymuck, and Stam Gangrene. Items you get include old underwear and smoked joints. Nothing in this regard is witty, funny, or even really has to do with the source material. It's just edgy and gross for the sake of it.
The game content doesn't fare any better, either. Walk through a bunch of rooms, pick up items (most of which are red herrings), explore some mazes. Whenever you come across someone, you usually have to give them an item, but there's barely any logic behind it. It's not fun to play, and none of the rooms or segments really stand out.
The parser doesn't respond to ABOUT, HELP, or most other out-of-world commands. The logic is inconsistent: you can't use GREEN to refer to a green key, but you have to use STONE to refer to a stone key, which is even more confusing because you already have an item that's a pile of stones. Even the speed at which it registers text is disappointing, and I had to type slower than normal or else it wouldn't pick up on everything. You also can't backspace and delete text you've already written, or use up and down to scroll through past commands.
Don't play Not the Lord of the Rings. It gave me Stiffy Makane vibes, if anything. There is nothing of value in this game.
Hilarious from start to finish, January 3, 2023You are a Chef! is flat-out one of the silliest games I've ever played. Stuff randomly falls from the sky and you have to put it in a pot. There are jokes like "It's called a parking lot because there is a LOT of parking!" It's a game that consistently makes me laugh whenever I play it, and I love it for that. Not the hardest or most complex entry in the IF catalog, but it's fun to turn your brain off and just laugh at a funny clown getting a safe dropped on it.
Super fun math puzzler, January 3, 2023(Adapted from an intfiction.org review)
You are the first ever candidate in Arithmancy – a field of magic involving manipulating numbers. You are judged by the fair and impartial Morkan, the more emotive and reactive Berzia, and, most importantly, the rude and irritable Teraboz. Armed with your spell book, sheet of numbers, and list of tasks, it's up to you to win over your superiors by scoring as many points as you can.
While traditional IF can be fun, I really enjoy more experimental games as well: there's an unusual core mechanic that you have to work with, and its execution can make or break the game. Junior Arithmancer in particular reminded me of another game I really liked, Threediopolis.
The main appeal of Junior Arithmancer is that it's about manipulating numbers in surprisingly fun ways. You are given the digits of various well-known functions, such as pi, e, and gamma, and you need to reach these numbers in sequence with your spells. You can't use a spell more than once, but you can attach prefixes to certain spells to make things easier. Your accomplishments will earn you tokens that you can trade in for more spells, unlocked linearly. Once you have all the skills at your disposal, it's up to you to finish as many tasks as you can before you submit your final score.
Junior Arithmancer is a game where it's satisfying to get something right. I was intrigued by knowing what my next spell could be, and how it could help solve my problems. By the time I got them all, I just wanted to keep optimizing my techniques and returning to old sequences with new tools. Everything feels fair; the spells work consistently, the game logic is easy to follow, and you don't have to memorize any number sequences because they're all included on the sidebar. I never felt like I was lost with how the game worked.
Besides the framing device, there's a little story running through the game. Whenever you return to your exam room to trade in tokens, you'll overhear Morkan, Berzia, and Teraboz talking about the academy. Most of the story is carried by Teraboz; she feels that the test has become too easily accommodating for new people, she starts a debate over whether the word “witch” is offensive, she gets in trouble with the fearsome vice dean Merlena. Outside the story, Teraboz reacts in exasperation at your mistakes, which I thought was a fun way to tell me when I was doing something wrong. She even (Spoiler - click to show)delivers the final line of the game, quitting the academy now that you're a part of it.. Teraboz gets way more dialogue and action than the other two characters, which is a shame, because I'd have liked for Morkan and especially Berzia to have some spotlight moments.
Despite the unbalanced character focus, I'd say I liked this story more than I didn't. It's secondary to the puzzles, and even developed in an interesting direction I didn't expect. And with that said, I'd recommend Junior Arithmancer. It's a light, fun game that's easy to grasp, but hard to perfect.
Romantic and beautiful, January 3, 2023Pytho's Mask is graceful and sophisticated. Everything from the theming to the characters has such a high-class charm and works to make you feel like a part of the world. The romance elements make it such an exhilarating and exciting story; I felt so blessed, assessing each intelligent and proper party guest as a potential partner.
You play as Soteria, a noblewoman who's been invited to a royal celebration, and you don't have a clue what it's about. Talking to the kingdom's rulers, you learn that it's to commemorate the Night of the Comet -- a chaotic event happening every 100 years, that can mysteriously change peoples' motivations and mindsets. Plus, the King is sick, and someone is out to get him... but who?
Pytho's Mask is a conversation game with light puzzles. A majority of this game is spent talking to people, working out their motivations, and piecing together who did it. It's a fantasy story with romance elements -- the Prince seems to have taken a liking to you (even though he admits he could do better), but others will tell you he's not the most faithful. It's up to you to decide whether to go with it, turn him away, or even go for someone else.
The game is good at giving you opportunities to understand its lore-heavy backstory. If you have a question about what something is, go ahead and ask someone who's knowledgeable about it. If you don't know where they are, just strike up a conversation with whoever's nearby and ask them. If you idle in a crowded area, you'll overhear some gossip that hints at where you can go or what you should do next. It's very much possible to figure this game out on your own, since the focus is more on the story, but the puzzles are a nice addition.
The game's writing is simply amazing. These characters all have their own memorable personalities -- I was especially a fan of Avril, who's disrespected by the other attendees for his emphasis on fashion and tendency to judge people based on it, but turns out to be one of the most sensible and likeable people in the game. We shared a mutual hatred of Valkir, how could I not love him? Each character has something unique to say about a given topic. It lets you draw your own conclusions as to who you like and who you don't, and there's a lot to play around with.
Pytho's Mask is an absolute gem, and ranks among my favorite interactive fiction pieces, period.
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Adam Whybray, Adri, Andrew Plotkin, Andy Holloway, Austin Auclair, Baldur Brückner, Ben Collins-Sussman, Bill Maya, Brian Rushton, Buster Hudson, Caleb Wilson, Carl Muckenhoupt, Chandler Groover, Chris Jones, Christopher Conley, Damon L. Wakes, Daniel Ravipinto, Daniel Stelzer, David Jose, David Petrocco, David Sturgis, Drew Mochak, Edward B, Emily Short, Erica Newman, Feneric, Finn Rosenlřv, Gary Butterfield, Gavin Inglis, Greg Frost, Hanon Ondricek, Harkness Munt, Harrison Gerard, Ian Holmes, Ivan Roth, Jack Welch, Jacqueline Ashwell, James Eagle, Jason Dyer, Jason Lautzenheiser, Jason Love, Jeremy Freese, Joey Jones, Joshua Porch, Justin de Vesine, Justin Melvin, Katherine Morayati, Kenneth Pedersen, Lane Puetz, Llew Mason, Lucian Smith, Marco Innocenti, Marius Müller, Mark Britton, Mark Sample, Marshal Tenner Winter, Matt Schneider, Matt Weiner, Matthew Korson, Michael Fessler, Michael Gentry, Michael Hilborn, Michael Lin, Mike Spivey, Molly Ying, Monique Padelis, Naomi Hinchen, Nate Edwards, Petter Sjölund, Q Pheevr, Rachel Spitler, Reed Lockwood, Reina Adair, Riff Conner, Roberto Colnaghi, Rowan Lipkovits, Sam Kabo Ashwell, Scott Hammack, Sean M. Shore, Shin, Wade Clarke, Zach Hodgens, Zack Johnson A masterpiece, January 3, 2023I had been working at this game for four months. I cannot believe how it turned out. It is one of the longest games I have ever played. This is one of the most insane experiences I have had playing a game. I feel like a totally different person now that I've finished it. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, and I never knew what would be coming next. It is unpredictable, it is difficult, it is different.
Cragne Manor is what happens when you take over 80 authors' contributions and intricately weave them together into a whole game. Every room is written independently, so just one step away is something totally different. Despite this, Cragne Manor has a method to its madness, and can feel amazingly coherent at points (props to the Carol arc). I kept going because I wanted to see everything and hopefully run into another engaging set piece, bizarre cultural reference, or well-developed puzzle. I wanted to know how the game could possibly end, and how everything would come together. You are given a basic goal -- find your husband Peter by uncovering bits of information in and around the manor -- but to list everything you have to do would be crazy.
I'd like to give shout-outs to some of my favorite, or most memorable, parts of the game. These are rooms that just blew me away. Please don't read these until you've been to the actual rooms!
Estate Agent's Office: (Spoiler - click to show)By far one of the best and most comprehensive rooms in the game. Everything Bethany says, everything she does, your inexplicable obsession with getting a lion sex book, the writing style, it had me laughing so hard. I actually came back here midway through just to make sure I asked her about everything. Some suggestions: Read the lion sex book and ask her about it. Ask Bethany about yourself, Peter, Jedediah Beaverhat, and Maple Kate.
Meatpacking Plant: (Spoiler - click to show)Cut up the corpses of dead animals! It's described in the most disgusting way possible. My stomach was churning by the end of this, and I actually had to put the game down before and after doing it because I was so uncomfortable.
Meatpacking Plant Bathroom: (Spoiler - click to show)How do we not talk about this one? It's iconic. Banish a boneless horse by using demonic rituals and a time-traveling toilet. It's worth trying everything you can here, because it accounts for most of your interactions; I spent a while trying to pee on every surface imaginable and I got a funny response for everything. Reading the diary is also a highlight, and the various "unfortunate baby names" gave me a good laugh.
Nursery: (Spoiler - click to show)Carol and Christabell offer up one of the most surprising moments in the game. There is an interconnected narrative between these two rooms. You get to watch Carol grow up from a kind yet lonely child to a politically-obsessed mastermind who wants to summon Cthulhu. Also, the part about Naomi apparently being pregnant really shocked me and made me want to know how the arc could possibly end. Christabell even comes in to wrap everything up! Carol apologizing, and the memento she leaves behind, made me genuinely sad.
Music Room: (Spoiler - click to show)A room that contains a bunch of small sub-rooms to tell an incredibly gruesome and disturbing story! Francine is messed up. Seeing her child self vomit, and then opening up a bag of body parts, actually made me feel sick and I had to put the game down for a bit. Not a pleasant story, but a memorable one for sure.
Workroom: (Spoiler - click to show)Cast magic spells and learn about the Cragnes' family history. The mechanics are fleshed out, there's a lot of optional deaths, and it's a nice break from some of the other more horrific parts of the game. It's a satisfying puzzle.
Curiosity Shop: (Spoiler - click to show)I like Jessenia. She's fun to talk to and she has all kinds of interesting items to trade. This is really late in the game, but I enjoyed it.
Narthex: (Spoiler - click to show)This kind of bizarre Catholic high school drama, complete with demon possession and tragic tales of love that was never meant to be, had me engaged. Brandon's eventual suicide attempt had me horrified and emotionally shattered, and even Naomi's shaken up by the whole thing afterwards.
Inside the Shack: (Spoiler - click to show)One of the last rooms in the game, this thing is surreal. The descriptions are disturbing and paint very horrifying images, there's a lot to do while you're in there, and messing with Naomi and Peter's history is a harrowing yet beautiful experience.
That's not to discredit the smaller rooms, though. They deserve appreciation for how they just tie everything together and they all draw inspiration from various sources. It's fun to have a few minor puzzles or transition rooms in between the game starts going off the rails and destroying you emotionally (yet again). I had visceral reactions to this thing; I almost threw up twice. I screamed so many times. It was great.
The main complaint I had with this game was an unavoidable, inevitable problem; sorting through your items gets hard. Attempting to use a noun like "dial" or "key" in a command will result in everything showing up and you needing to use disambiguations. Sometimes I'd just throw out my backpack before I went into a room so I wouldn't have to deal with it. The mildew was also a massive misstep that I wish was toned down, and if I were to give one piece of advice to anyone before playing the game, get rid of it as soon as you can. It made me begin dreading opening my inventory and filtering through items, because it inflated it with useless text and ended up taking the entire screen.
My review has only scratched the surface. Play this game, don't let the content warning scare you, just go with it. Play it to the end. There's always something new waiting. Jenni Polodna and Ryan Veeder, both absolutely amazing authors and people in general, thank you so much for this. I'll never forget Cragne Manor.
Your storyline, all decided before the curtain rises, January 3, 2023Opening Night is so much more than it appears. It's a short game, taking me around 40 minutes, so please give it a try.
You are attending an opening night show for Miranda Lily, your favorite Broadway star. You've saved up for weeks with your pay from the factory, and you've got a rose ready to give to Miranda when you finally meet her in person.
Getting into the theater and intercepting the doorman who won't let you in because of the dress code requires some good ol' cartoony hijinks. I was expecting a similar silly tone from the rest of the game, but the performance sets the stage for something much deeper. Spoilers abound.
So many moments after (Spoiler - click to show)the intermission just had me ask "wait, what?" and "did I read that right?" It drove me to figure out the mystery and understand what was truly happening. The game weaves in flashback text with the current happenings, and time skips at key moments.
The game's biggest surprise would have to be that (Spoiler - click to show)Miranda is DEAD. She started acting in movies, which "stripped her of her immediacy, her presence, reduced her to the sum of her parts" and sent her into a downward spiral. She became an alcoholic and died. The fact that we came back to the theater just to remember the biggest day of our lives, before the place gets torn down. We spent weeks trying to build up the courage to give her the rose, because one in-person performance made us feel unworthy of her presence; and you get to put the wilted stem in a vase in Miranda's abandoned dressing room. It's a perfect bittersweet moment.
I couldn't believe it by the end. I was shocked. The way everything develops is outstanding. The puzzles are simple enough that you can solve them without hints, putting full focus on the story. I'd definitely recommend this one.
Pulled off well, January 3, 2023After I had fun with Nord and Bert,
I thought, more word games couldn't hurt!
I had high expectations,
and with little hesitation,
went in receptive and alert.
The comedy rhyming is consistently a joy,
and depending on who you employ,
the story will take different a turn.
You can always undo, so no cause for concern.
(A good move, as the inverse would annoy.)
To the heist's challenge, my squad arose,
all written in the game's unique style of prose.
Not once did it feel bland or uninspired,
it stays quite fresh, so you won't get tired.
Lots of work was put in, and it shows!
The premise enticed,
review scores sufficed,
so allow me to conclude this review
with a statement that's honest and true:
I'm glad I played Limerick Heist!
Play half, skip the rest, January 2, 2023Nord and Bert was the first piece of interactive fiction I ever played. I read about it and it sounded right up my alley. Looking back, it's definitely got its great moments, but also some not-so-fun parts. You can play the levels in any order you want, and they don't have any interconnected story elements, so I'll recap them all:
Shopping Bizarre: One of the highlights. You run around a supermarket and make all kinds of crazy things (turn a sale into a sail, or a moose into mousse). The homophone theming is fun and never feels too obscure. Prime segment here.
Playing Jacks: Use a bunch of tools with "jack" in the name. I actually broke this one on accident. (Spoiler - click to show)The mermaid simply wasn't showing up after I did the jacuzzi scene. It's a cool concept, but needing to remember how to activate my tools slowed me down a bit. The jacked-up coding makes it a pass.
Buy the Farm: Might be my favorite level. You try to restore an empty farm through taking idioms literally, like teaching the old dog new tricks, or putting the cart before the horse. One very tricky puzzle here, though. Still, horse around with this one for a bit.
Eat Your Words: Harass and inconvenience a waitress and a cook, also by taking idioms literally. A lot of the terms you have to use here are pretty obscure, so it's easy to get stuck. It and Buy the Farm are like two peas in a pod, but this one's a harder nut to crack.
Act the Part: Act in a 50s sitcom and get your annoying brother in-law to leave. This segment doesn't really have any relevance to the rest of the game, contains some really esoteric puzzles, and it's easy to make it unwinnable. Hook it off the stage.
Manor of Speaking: Confusing and pointless. Find a way to scare a portrait of Karl Marx. Also, there's a room in this one with a frustrating mechanic (can't use the same verb twice) that just slowed it down. Quiet it up and move on. (Or play Hulk Handsome's similarly-named game, because that one's awesome!)
Shake a Tower: A fun return to the earlier segments! Come up with silly spoonerisms (a head louse becomes a lead house, a shoving leopard becomes a loving shepherd) to save the day. I do have to warn against a game-breaking bug here, since my (Spoiler - click to show)well-oiled bicycle just disappeared between rooms for no reason. Going into this one was a pretty rough take considering how the quality was slipping, but it actually felt relevant.
Meet the Mayor: You can only play this part once you've finished all the others. Is it worth it? Not really, it just feels anticlimactic and doesn't really work as a review of what you've learned. Tell the mayor I'm out.
Half of Nord and Bert is witty and comical. The other half is baffling and just not that fun. Whenever I return to the game, I go through Shopping Bizarre, Buy the Farm, and Shake a Tower, maybe Eat Your Words, and leave the rest. It's a good game with some bad segments, rather than the other way around, so that even out into a 3/5 star rating.
Difficult but memorable, January 2, 2023Savoir-Faire is, first and foremost, a difficult game. What kept me going was the mystery, the atmosphere, the incredibly versatile and unique magic system, and the desire to finally get something good to eat.
In this game, you get to "link" two similar objects together depending on their properties. Then, what you do to one item will affect the other. Sometimes, you'll have to modify or change items so they can be linked up to another. Reverse-linking has the opposite effect, applying one item's properties to another. This also leads to a bunch of fun Easter eggs. When I first played, I underestimated the system, so a bit of advice for new players: Don't be afraid to try everything. Sometimes a solution will work when you don't think you can do it.
The game's atmosphere is notable, too. You're alone in a fancy mansion, exploring every nook and cranny to piece together what happened to you and Marie. It genuinely made me gasp at some of the plot developments or more unexpected things I came across: I had no idea (Spoiler - click to show)Marie was alive! The bits of backstory you come across are meaningful and communicate just how intense it can be to live in a world with this kind of magic.
The cooking puzzle deserves special mention. This thing drives the game: I loved finding new ingredients in order to finally cook these recipes that had been taunting me for hours. It's rewarding to use, and allows you to segment your goals a bit more: what do you have, what do you need, and where do you think you can get it?
This game is an absolute classic. Give it a try.
Schtupmeister, gradual advertiser, January 2, 2023Use Your Psychic Powers at Applebee's pleasantly surprised me. The premise is that you're a psychic advertiser for Schtupmeister beer; you're visiting an Applebee's late one night to subliminally convince people to drink the brand. There are four people, and all of them have some sort of interesting twist. It's hard to absorb all their stories and interactions on the first playthrough, since they run concurrently. Part of the puzzle is figuring out when's the best time to slip in and whisper your ads into their brain, and the other is figuring out how to optimize this all for one run. There's a small amount of other choices that will affect your ending, such as whether or not you tell on a stealing waitress. I found that some of the endgame stuff was light on choices at first, but the dialogue does adjust depending on what you did in the restaurant.
The game also deserves mention for its really modern theming and dialogue. It name-drops stuff like TikTok trends, has a debate on whether Garfield or the Kool-Aid Man would win in a fight (which I thoroughly enjoyed reading), and there's jokes about about California Pizza Kitchen and crypto related to forgotten memes. Remember this one in a few years -- it's a total time capsule of late 2022, and I love that. There's also some flat-out surreal jokes, such as a PSA warning against Driving While Yogurt-Eating, and a few cracks are made at Applebee's (such as noting that this time, people aren't running and screaming out of the restaurant for "the usual reasons").
Applebees is a light, silly game that can be beaten quickly (maybe 15-20 minutes to see everything?) and isn't that hard to figure out. Still, it's a nice comp entry in its own right. Give it a few plays.
Nobody wins at MARIO CARDS, January 2, 2023"Life is meaningless, we are but players of a game, and that game is MARIO CARDS".
MARIO CARDS has you being blindfolded and kidnapped by no other than Mario, who's going to play a card game with you whether you want to or not. The game consists of matching pairs of cards with Mario's face on them. Turns out this is just the start: you have more games to play, and MARIO CARDS was only the beginning. Early into the game, the author interrupts to say that he was a sleep-deprived wreck when he wrote it and he isn't even sure if it makes sense.
The game is full of awkward middle-schooler humor: the subtitle is "MARIO CARDS : The Text Adventure about a Card Game about Mario who's from a Video Game - I don't Play Them myself but my Brother plays Call of Duty and says it's Pretty Good so There You Go", and you're given the option to "kicK OVER THE TAble godadMN this is taking forever". There's regular jokes about life being meaningless or the general laziness of the game, such as railroading your choices or even saying "I'm a goddamn saint and you are going to play this through and appreciate it for the Art that it is." There's obligatory swearing and forced sex jokes ("At first you thought it was some kind of deprived sexual ritual of MARIO's, but he is literally a video game character and video game characters don't do that, unless they are a video character that does, then they do").
The game's ending declares that "NOBODY WINS AT MARIO CARDS," and that's right on the money. The game itself admits that it's aimless and nonsensical, and while I did find the writing and plot direction slightly amusing at points, it's not worth your time.
Charming and fun, January 2, 2023(Adapted from intfiction.org post)
Lenard Gunda’s Lazy Wizard's Guide was one of the first IFComp entries I played this year; the charming premise made me interesting in what it could be.
One of my favorite styles of IF game is when you have a magic system that just builds on top of itself, starting with simple spells and then moving on to more advanced and interesting ones. It’s not that common, but it’s always a joy to play; compare Junior Arithmancer. Even beyond this mechanic, Lazy Wizard’s Guide amazed my with its varied characters and non-linear goals.
The plot: You’re a senior student at a magic academy, taking your final exam to be a licensed wizard. The problem is that you don’t have a clue on how do to any of it! Armed with only a Beginner’s Magic book, can you explore the school and its surroundings to figure out how to complete all five of your exam goals?
I love the atmosphere of this game. You’ll run into all sorts of fantasy creatures – tree people, ghosts, gnomes, witches, vampires, among others – and it’s fun to go around the school. The characters you can interact with are unique and memorable, and I’d always liked checking back to see if they had anything new to say as I progressed. Room descriptions are kept concise, and everything you’ll need to know is mentioned. The game also uses a special web parser that makes conversations easier (you get to click numbered options) and highlights certain important verbs or notifications, which improved the ease of play and makes it easier to recommend to people who are new to IF.
The spell system is easy to understand: learn a spell, and you know it forever. If you have the ingredients you need, go ahead and cast it (on something if needed). Some of these are as simple as lighting up dark rooms or unlocking doors, while later ones include entering paintings and summoning vampires. You also have to brew some potions to complete your exam. The versatile spell system also leads to some puzzles having multiple solutions, which I liked.
There’s one area I would like to see improved: if you’re stuck, you can call an “exam jinn” to give you hints. However, most of his hints are vague and there’s points where he didn’t even have anything to tell me. I ended up beating the game without any of his help. It’s also a minor nitpick, but at first, I ended up (Spoiler - click to show)drinking the tea that was meant for Mirlena. She kept asking for it, and I was wondering if I made a mistake, since I couldn’t get any more. I ended up going back to an earlier save to give it to her, but nothing new happened; the dialogue seemed the same and there didn’t seem to be any achievements related to it. It was a bit of confusion that stuck out, considering how good the rest of the game is at giving feedback and ensuring I can’t mess up puzzles.
Lazy Wizard’s Guide is a lighthearted and imaginative IFComp entry with strong gameplay and great worldcrafting. I liked it a lot, and I’d definitely recommend it.
Uses its set piece well, January 1, 2023One horrific night in the 1950s, teenager Bonnie Noodleman finds her almost-boyfriend attacked by horrific brain-guzzling monsters from beyond! However will she and her friends stop them? Such begins Brain Guzzlers from Beyond!
This isn't a hard game, but it's of a nice length. The puzzles are pretty basic, but some have multiple solutions, and areas you don't need to go to anymore tend to be closed off. The game is a parody of 1950s sci-fi, in a way that reminded me of Max Blaster, featuring comics with absurdly preachy messages and an absolute lack of severe language (such as "Oh my gosh!" and "We’re in such a deep pickle right now!"). These jokes are where the game is at its best, and I particularly loved your conversation with the robotic Wife of Tomorrow. The sci-fi aspect is handled well and plays a good part in the story. The latter half was full of great jokes with all the psuedo-futuristic technology; it felt like I was playing through an episode of Futurama.
There's a cast of characters in this game, all of whom get unique portrait art, which I didn't expect. The conversations are interesting and full of different options, and a lot of characters will stick around and even get a bit of surprising development. My favorite in this regard was Mary Jane, the hysterical prom queen who (Spoiler - click to show)turns out to be a brilliant inventor. Following these characters throughout the games, learning their likes and dislikes and getting their help to solve puzzles, was definitely one of its strengths.
Overall, the game's appealing writing style, approachable puzzles, and fun characters make it an easy recommendation. Definitely play The Mary Jane of Tomorrow after you beat it, too; that one's great.
Repetitive gameplay, doesn't go very far, January 1, 2023You are a disgraced high school Rock Paper Scissors champion. It's been a long year, but you are ready to regain your position, with the help of the three RPS Gods.
Rooms are bare, descriptions are blunt, and the setting isn't that interesting. The two core puzzles here are finding your offerings (a rock, a paper, and scissors), and tricking your sacrifices into making RPS signs. That latter puzzle is repeated nine times and makes up the bulk of the gameplay. Talk to someone until they make a sign (such as holding up their hand as a stop motion, or posing for a picture with a V sign), then do the right symbol against it. Then (Spoiler - click to show)they get sucked into a vortex. It was surprising at first, but this is most of the game. The mechanic doesn't get expanded upon and the difficulty stays low throughout, eventually feeling kind of boring.
With all that said, this isn't a bad game, just pretty middle-of-the-road. It'd be worth a try if you want a more low-key game.
Overall decent, January 1, 2023The doctor gives you a word, and you have to respond with a rhyme for it. Rack up as many points as you can before time's up to get a better evaluation. It's something you can easily finish in six or seven minutes, and there's not much incentive to return once you've seen the best ending. It's not a bad game, and the idea is implemented well.
Pick Up the Game and Be Underwhelmed, January 1, 2023Looking back at the game now, it doesn't seem that revolutionary or interesting. It's almost a troll game, if anything. Games like Aisle have done its concept so much better.
Think of these thoughts as limitless light, January 1, 2023Nuns commence incanting as the lightning strikes your temples thus! Electrifying your chambers wholly, scorching out their sovereignty! You were just a boy, you see! You plead of them, have sympathy for you!
Actually, this game's pretty light on plot. The Kaden have locked your mind's essence away in cyberspace, and your companions, the Souden, might be coming to help you. Most of this game is spent talking to a cube, which is frustratingly obtuse because it barely has anything useful to say. It feels pretty esoteric: you know the spider is used for maintenance, but do you know how to talk to it? It's repeatedly spinning around and holding a doll, how do you deal with that? Other puzzles include just typing a command twice in a row to make it work, or trying to overload computers.
You can easily miss out on story events, including the warp to the game's ending, if you happen to be in a different room than the cube. The game also loves giving you puzzles with time limits, so I had to save often for what's ultimately a short game. As far as the ending goes, I thought it was pretty unsatisfying and confusing. Also, there's these pretentious quotes that keep showing up at the top of the screen, but they don't go away very fast and just cover up earlier text. It'd be easy to turn this into something worthwhile, but it's not worth seeing how the brain plays around.
Short and buggy, January 1, 2023Indigo is a game that's really more frustrating than fun. I love the concept, but it's not communicated well, and the game is full of bugs. I was relieved to be finished with this one.
Creative and fun, December 31, 2022You're sent into the wide land of Threediopolis. Your new employer, Ed Dunn, has a list of places he wants you to visit so you can complete tasks for him. But, in this realm, it's not about where you're going as much as how you get there.
Threediopolis is a game that seems overwhelming at first. You have 40 tasks and 10 friends to find. Every place is signified by a 3 digit number and a cryptic description. At first, I was wandering around without a clue. (Spoiler - click to show)I decided to figure out how my movements effected the numbers, then honed in on one place that wasn't far from the start. I had to go down, north, and east. Easy. I tried every combination of these... but when I went north, east, and then down and met a guy named Ned, I suddenly realized what this game was. It's a word game!
(Spoiler - click to show)You have 6 directions, using letters, and you have to spell words with them. Like SEEDS takes you to a gardening supply store, DUNES takes you to a desert, and WEENERS is a hot dog restaurant. There's also a bunch of bonuses if you type things like SENSUS (you fill out a census forum), SUDDEN (a loud noise startles you), and SEUSS (you meet a Dr. Seuss creature). If you can't work something out from the text description, you can try to figure it out with the numbers.
I was able to finish all the tasks and find all the friends, but you don't have to. You can return to Ed at any point to turn in your list and get a final score. The postgame gives you a list of 80 bonus tasks, some of which you may complete over the course of the regular game.
Overall, I found Threediopolis to be a fun time. The writing is witty and funny, even wrong expeditions will reward you with something amusing, and it's not that long or difficult once you get the hang of it.
Deal's done, feels fun, December 31, 2022Very Vile Fairy File has you as Kerry Kyle, transported into a strange world consisting of rhyming couplets. The titular Fairy File will repeatedly show up to insult you until you can put a stop to it.
The game revolves around rhymes: you have to turn Soft Sand into a Loft Land, a Coral Cage into a Moral Mage, a Stark Store into a Dark Door or you can Mark More. Seeing how many puns the writing can string together is part of the fun, especially when you run into a dead-end room.
The game encourages guesses, since ones that might not exactly help will still feed your Lurking Lump, allowing you to use a Jerking Jump to bypass puzzles you're stuck on. It's a fun trade-off, but I did find myself devolving into just going down a list of syllables or letters during particularly frustrating areas. You can also use your Leet Learner to get an idea of whether or not you have to subtract or add letters from a term.
There's a good amount of context clues you can work out from examining objects, and only once did it use a word I didn't know. There's also a flat-out hint feature, but most of the time it wasn't that helpful. Either way, there's plenty of anti-frustration features, and multiple areas will always be open at once, so you can just do something else to clear your head until you want to return.
Very Vile Fairy File is strong and funny, and definitely worth a try if it seems interesting to you.
I get what it's going for, but..., December 31, 2022This game has a nice story, but once you've exhausted it, there just isn't that much to do. The wording on (Spoiler - click to show)the final command is awkward, and while the clues are there, (Spoiler - click to show)it just amounts of doing the same thing in every room until you happen to come across it.
Intelligent, elegant, and thoughtful, December 31, 2022This is flat-out one of my favorite games of all time. Everything it does just struck all the right chords for me. The dry, sarcastic humor, the gloomy atmosphere, the way Helen and Grant interact with each other. You get a sense of what each of these characters have been through, and you genuinely do want to see what each of them have to say.
You are in a cafe, meeting up with an old classmate who you used to be in love with, and you want to prevent any embarrassing bits of history from coming back up... including a prank with your friends as part of a secret group you were in. You can try to distract from the conversation, focus more on the present, talk about your past, all sorts of interesting things.
The writing is hilarious and goes off onto all these somewhat bizarre topics or bits of history. There's Regis, the sculpting cowboy who Grant's mother is now dating. There's your English teacher who would squeak a dog toy into students ears when they weren't paying attention and now writes cheesy romance novels under a pen name. There's your twin brothers, who have a frog named Fuzzy and are completely unaware of how unfitting such a name is.
You can talk with Grant about movies, religion, literature, debate the origin of the universe, all sorts of sophisticated stuff. Helen in particular has a lot of problems with her mother that she can vent. And this conversation feels natural. You can see his posture and expressions change depending on what's brought up. Topics bounce around a bit, but it flows realistically. Your options are varied and make sense. Everything you do feels worthwhile.
The game gets right into its topic. No long-winded exposition; you can read background information as you want by thinking about certain topics. I was a bit baffled at first when it talked about "3Nigma" and all these characters I hadn't met, but the thinking command and the general flow of the conversation kept me on track.
The actual conversation content is beautifully written. It knows when to be funny and when to be grounded, like when you have a conversation over some poetry Grant dissed without being aware that you wrote it. Or when he finally pulls out the notebook of long-winded, embarrassing poetry you wrote about him, and you have to decide how to deal with it.
This game has become so comforting to me. Each line of dialogue gives you something new to consider or contemplate. It's a work of art.
Peak Fiction, December 30, 2022If you have any doubt, stop reading these reviews and play the game.
There is so much to do in Counterfeit Monkey. I've played it three times and I'm still finding new stuff. Everything you do is rewarding and fun. The writing is consistent and the style is really original. The letter-remover is one of the most creative and well-implemented concepts I've ever gotten to use in a game, and the new tools that open up as you play just kept amazing me.
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