Reviews by Daemon Pyrate
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A Return to Classic IF in Modern Ironic Style, January 19, 2015This game has scoring and the same sadistic humor I loved in the old games. This one, though, has heavy irony and (thank God!) the UNDO command. If you don't like twisted humor or you don't like The Onion, don't bother with this.
Everything in this game is ironic. There's a hilariously twisted ending for people who get to the end (the real end). It's a fairly easy game for people who get it (just like Catch-22 was a great novel for people who got it). The only tough part is getting all the points without using the hints at the end.
Boring boring boring boring, December 5, 2014Stories about college have been and always will be BORING! The writing is dreadful. The illustrations are atrocious. There is nothing good about this choose-your-own-time-waster.
One of the Top 5 Worst Commercial Text Games of All Time, November 28, 2014Awful, awful, awful game.
I had the docs to this game hanging around for the C64 version, so I wanted to see why I had never finished it. Now I know. It's not a text adventure. It's a simulation. That's the biggest problem right there. There are so many things wrong with this thing that it's not worth my time writing them all down since the game is so old.
Don't bother searching this out. If you don't have the docs, you won't be able to play the game anyway. To quote it: "You thought this was a game?" (Yes, it actually has this line in it.)
Barf.
Technically Well-Done Game, November 16, 2014The faux future website gimmick is cute and it works really well. Unfortunately, it has really really really terrible background textures. I couldn't read anything without blocking them out with AdBlock.
The outsourced surveillance idea was good, but it the dialogue is far too 2014 to work forty years in the future. Burgess knew all about that when he wrote Clockwork Orange. It also grates on the nerves.
"Cédric: Did you just say oh-em-gee out loud?"
That's just bad. Reading this awful dialogue was tiresome and the game quickly got boring-- to the point where I was flagging and deleting stuff randomly like Yossarian in Catch-22. That being said, this line broke me up: "I dated a computer scientist once. Never again."
I Really Wanted to Like This, November 16, 2014Unfortunatey, the author seemed to think that giving the player/reader a history lesson was more important than a story or a goal. I couldn't finish it. It was just too boring.
Not Much Better Than the Movie, November 10, 2014I got this game for my Mac 512k back in the day but never managed to finish it until now. Its crude parser and lack of description make it difficult, not because the puzzles are particularly good. Unless you read the manuals CAREFULLY (it uses EXAMINE CAREFULLY as a kind of puzzle *rolls eyes*) you'll miss some of the solutions, which you would not get normally (FLIP is for people, not switches).
The story isn't well told in the game at all, so if you're interested in the absurdly bad plot then I suggest you watch the movie. This one killed the James Bond flicks for me, as up to that point it was the worst one I'd ever seen. Who knew it could get worse?
There is a funny joke at the end of this game if you don't defuse the bomb before kissing the girl. It scolds you by saying, "Sean, George, or Roger wouldn't have done that!" It's the only thing amusing about it.
A Mediocre and Uninteresting Twine Game, November 8, 2014The main problem with this work is that neither the story nor the writing is very compelling. This is a big issue because it requires the reader keep clicking on links to find one which will advance the story. The characters, the story, and the prose were banal. I was overloaded with a lot of information that, by and large, I couldn't care less about. If it had been written in first person from the perspective of the detective, it might have been interesting enough for me to finish it rather than frustrating and dull.
Potential For a Decent Inform Game, October 1, 2014Release 1 is very roughly sketched. There are a lot of things missing. (The author needs to use Aaron A. Reed's BENT technique, Bracket Every Notable Thing.) "In" is used instead of "enter cable car". The main problem is that most things are undescribed. It's a good start. It just needs more work-- more objects, more description.
Very Irritating Gender-Neutral One-Room Inform Game, September 28, 2014This game feels like a mixture of When Harry Met Sally, Groundhog Day, and The Twilight Zone. It's not fun. It feels more like a torturous endurance test.
I was frustrated with not knowing what gender "Sam" was. I can't stand games where I don't know what gender character I'm playing. How am I supposed to act accordingly if I don't know anything about who I am or who or what it is that sits across from me in this restaurant? I had a great time playing Plundered Hearts. I love playing a gender not my own. Gender-neutral games are utterly useless.
A lot of objects are missing. Where's the napkin dispenser that was said that I could look into? Why am I only carrying "a run-down relationship past its expiry date (containing a burden of shame)"? Cute. Ha.
I didn't bother going past two ways to leave my lover. I started counting ways to leave the game. Hitting the close box did the trick.
Well-Written Twine Game, but Very Mean, September 28, 2014There are some punctuation mistakes (there's no comma before that or what) and articles missing, but I've seen worse in some paperbacks.
The main problem I had was how mean Natasha becomes, in spite of you making the nice choice, as with the drunk. Sticking a drunk with a pin is not funny. Drunks are sad people. That's just sheer meanness.
It's too bad. I was starting to really enjoy the game up to then. After that I couldn't care less if Natasha got her passport and I was hoping that someone would kick her. I didn't bother to waste my time on the rest of the game.
I was about to give the game four stars before that. Now it's barely two.
An Ethically-Challenged Game, September 26, 2014The main puzzle behind this game drove me crazy for the main reason that it is not something that people would do ordinarily; that is to say, (Spoiler - click to show)giving the hermit back a key to get your dollar back after you've broken it and repaired it with glue. Also, the idea of buying a clarinet, using it, then returning it to get your stupid dollar back is awful. I don't know what country this author lives in, but this is not civilized behavior.
The descriptions in this game, at least in the beginning few rooms, are dreadful. For example, "Above your head tower obtuse angles of gray-shining metal, each segment tilted a different way and so bearing a differing depth of shadow. Higher still a riot of white sunlight twinkles on geometrical patterns of rivets, and beyond, the ceiling is hidden in a glowing haze... presumably." I can't begin to describe the sheer awfulness of this prose so I won't.
Also, there's no back story as to what this Holy Robot Empire is or why you want to kiss the Pope's ring. Just go with it.
All of these criticisms aside, the game has few bugs and WTF moments. It's short but irritating.
Well-written, fun bit of historical porno, September 18, 2014Lots of dialogue. Needed more rooms and a longer prologue and epilogue but it was fun. I'm looking forward to playing it with the commentary turned on.
I HATE bugs in the finale!, September 8, 2014I would have given this three stars had I not gotten a ">" when I tried to "cast spell" on Douglas. If that doesn't work then tell me what the bloody heck I have to do in order to finish the stupid game. Frustratingly bad.
Disturbing, very disturbing, September 5, 2014But a whole lot of fun. Like H.P. Lovecraft meets Dr. Seuss in a Zorkish scenario. Very cool.
Funny and really well-written, September 5, 2014The subject matter was presented in a way that wasn't off-putting either. The author is very skilled and should write a book.
Waste of time, September 5, 2014What's the point of this? I don't need poetry.
Waaaaay too talky, September 5, 2014I was about to give up before I just typed TALK and there was the way to the end. The three end scenes one right after the other were irksome. I would have liked more than just one room but other than that it was funny so I enjoyed it.
This game was annoying, September 5, 2014One room. Little description. Kinda reminded me of a story written on a napkin.
I'd like a preview first, September 5, 2014I don't care that it's only two and a half bucks. I want to know if the quality of the writing is worth even my time never mind my money.
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